Maybe your boyfriend or husband came home late at night, looking like he ran a marathon, and that got your mind racing!

Your gut is telling you that he just came home after an affair session; before speculating, I suggest seeing if he’s showing more signs of cheating.

Fresh out of an affair: what are the signs of a partner who just slept with someone else?

1. He comes home looking unkempt!

This is what I mean when I said, “looking like he ran a marathon“!

• He’s sweaty and looks tired;
• His hair is messy;
• His clothes are disorganized (or even completely different from when he left);

Intercourse isn’t exactly the tidiest activity—if your partner came home looking discombobulated, he could’ve been engaging in an affair not too long ago.

2. Look for any sex marks, such as hickeys or lipstick stains.

Keep an eye out for hickeys or make-up smudges on his face, body, and clothes!

Hickeys are a bit more straightforward and harder to get rid of, but make-up is harder to detect on the cheater’s part (lipstick stains, glitter, foundation, etc.).

3. Cheaters usually smell very different after coming home late.

This is something cheaters love to gaslight us about.

They say they were hanging out with friends, co-workers, or relatives—but think about it, how close were they standing together? Pretty close if her smell stuck to him.

So let’s not eliminate the possibility that he was hanging out with an affair partner yet.

4. He comes home acting distracted and unapproachable.

This one is quite telling: your partner coming home completely aloof, I mean.

He’s distant and unresponsive; he doesn’t call you pet names or sit down to talk to you about his day.

He probably didn’t even let you know he came home.

Your man could be feeling guilty about doing what he did behind your back—he doesn’t want to get too close to you and risk letting you know what he’s done!

6. The first thing he does? Hop in the shower.

Don’t be too quick to jump to conclusions because most people shower as soon as they get home.

Let me paint the picture:

Your partner comes back looking entirely different from when he left home. He’s obviously distracted by something and refuses to talk to you. No “Hello, I’m home!”, instead he quickly hurries to get in the shower.

This is him attempting to remove the other woman’s traces.

7. He keeps you at arm’s length (physically speaking) the whole night.

He doesn’t kiss/hug you when comes home—red flag #1.

When they come home, cheaters avoid getting into physical contact with their partner!

This includes all physical touching, kissing, hugging, cuddling, and even sex.

8. His mood seems to have lifted!

And as for the non-guilty cheaters, they will come home feeling cheerful and refreshed.

Their whole attitude will change—they could’ve been moody the entire day with their partner, but the affair cheered them up.

• If you can detect any unusual mood shifts, do not brush them off.

9. Whenever you inspect, he tries to distract or berate you.

Seeing your s.o. come home with lipstick stains all over his mouth will make you want to ask a question or two!

And you probably have, but his reactions are more on the aggressive side.

He lies about his whereabouts and about how the reason his mouth is red is because he’s having an allergic reaction.

He might even try to distract you from your own suspicions by brushing the topic off and jumping to another one.

10. See if you can hint at any other signs of guilt.

Cheaters are an open book—I would say that (usually) they unknowingly drop hints as to what they’ve been doing.

According to PsychCentral, every guilty person’s experience varies, but there is a common ground!

The next time your partner comes home extremely late and you suspect he was out cheating (or if it already happened), this is what you need to look out for:

• A flushed face;
• A partner’s constant avoidance of people/things;
• Outbursts;
• Change in moods;
• Aggression;
• Blame-shifting, etc.

The general signs a guy sleeps around — How to tell?

What about a long-term cheater? Very few cheaters would be as careless as to show themselves in front of their partner in such a messy state!

They have their affairs regularly and are really careful about them—or so they think.

– He’s like a completely different person in bed.

All of a sudden he’s showing you new moves in bed and has a very intense sex drive; he has new fantasies and ideas he would like to try out.

On the not-so-bright side, if he suddenly stops having sex with you, it could also mean he’s sleeping around.

– He *says* he is too busy out of the blue.

“I’m busy!” is what cheaters usually say when they don’t want to get caught!

If your man constantly says he’s busy, or that he has to go on business trips, something is going on.

He needs to get out of the house to go to his AP somehow, so he uses the whole “busy” shtick.

– Both an unromantic attitude and an over-the-top romantic one are fishy.

It’s a bit confusing, but let me explain!

Your mate being non-affectionate with you (not telling you he loves you, no compliments, no physical contact) is concerning.

However, his spoiling you way too much is also suspicious (usually done out of guilt).

– He often goes out with his friends and doesn’t answer the phone the whole night.

What’s worse is that he comes home late too.

I want you to ask yourself, “Are his friends the cheating type?” because if you answered yes, how unlikely would it be for your man to be going with the flow?

And if he ignores your calls and texts the whole time he’s out, that’s where the worrying really begins.

– When you question him, he’s very weird and might even refuse to answer.

I talked briefly about a cheater’s unresponsive nature, but digging into their psyche is what’s going to help us.

If you ask him rather normal questions about, say, why he came home late or why he hasn’t been answering his calls, see how he behaves.

If he is hostile, refuses to answer, panics, and/or gives you too many or too few details, that’s a sign of infidelity.

– His phone patterns have changed!

He uses his phone too much…he could be cheating on it.

If he recently started using passwords for his devices, it means he’s trying to hide his affair; a similar sign would be not letting you use his phone.

– A second phone, SIM Card, hidden online profile.

Don’t even get me started…

What is so important that a person needs to get a whole second phone? I personally will always be a skeptic.

The same goes for secondary SIM Cards and secret social media profiles.

– You already know he lies a lot.

Liars cheat and cheaters lie—these two factors come together to form an unfortunate combination.

If you have seen him lie on multiple occasions about things that make him look suspicious, then chances are he is suspicious.

For instance, lying about being at a friend’s house while that friend told you that he’s not there.

– Your s.o. is suddenly a self-care aficionado!

When cheaters find a new subject of romance, they will start wanting to improve their looks for them.

• New self-care regime;
• Better hygiene;
• Testing out new fragrances;
• Buying new clothes.

If your partner is only now starting to care for his appearance), then a third person could be involved.

– He never opens up anymore in general.

Cheaters may physically and emotionally disengage.

As for emotional disengagement, your cheating partner will stop telling you about his days.

He won’t open up about important stuff either—the communication quality goes down once someone starts cheating.

– You two argue a lot, or not at all—both are bad signs.

On one hand, a cheater may start arguing more to gain a reason to stop talking to their significant other.

On the other hand, a cheater may also stop arguing because they no longer care enough to.

– Don’t brush off what your friends are saying, they may have seen him with his mistress.

If your good friends frequently tell you that they’ve seen your man act lovingly with another girl in public, don’t be too quick to dismiss them.

– He compares you to other people.

On the off chance your partner has been comparing you to other women, know that he may be cheating in some way.

If he’s able to look at other people with lust in his mind, he’s very much capable of acting up such thoughts.

And to even let you know he finds them attractive? Unforgivable. 

– You sometimes see him snapping sexual pictures of himself.

Quite normal, he could be thinking of sending them to you—it’s when he doesn’t that you need to start wondering!

If you often catch him taking lewd pictures of himself, please don’t laugh it off.

– He purchases things he doesn’t need or use.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a person trying out new stuff—if this is what your partner’s doing, then there’s no need to worry.

However, if his bank says that he’s made purchases in women’s perfume or clothing stores, for instance, those purchases have most likely been made for his lover.

– You two no longer go out in public—when you do, there are a lot of restrictions.

Yes, if your partner stops wanting to go out in public, that’s a bad sign!

But an even worse sign would be him accepting to go, but under certain restrictions, e.g. picking the time and location yet avoiding specific places.

When you go out, you might notice a lack of PDA as well.

The key to knowing if your husband/boyfriend has slept with someone else…

Unless you have cold, hard evidence, there isn’t a guaranteed way of knowing for sure whether your partner is cheating on you.

Pay attention to his appearance and behavior when he comes back home—do you notice any irregularities that point out he was with someone?

If he looks like a cheater, acts like a cheater, and talks like a cheater, then he just may be a cheater.