Sooner or later, everyone in a relationship is faced with doubts regarding a partner’s loyalty, and sadly, many of those doubts are correct.
Unfortunately, cheating in relationships is sort of expected—so much so that a person being unfaithful is nothing new.
However, the only upside in this situation is that many cheaters behave in a way that gives them away, so catching them is doable!
And who’s to say that we can’t see a cheater coming? If you suspect that your boyfriend/husband might be cheating, keep an eye out for these 27 distinct signs:
1. He doesn’t enjoy spending that much time with you anymore.
A very indicative and concerning sign: a partner not spending quality time with you.
You two used to spend every waking minute together, all over each other, but that has changed lately!
He could be directing this attention elsewhere, or simply feeling too guilty to be in your presence.
And yes, we could blame this on the honeymoon phase being over, however, men sometimes become distant once they start cheating.
2. Nor does he plan fun dates anymore!
And while we’re on the topic of quality time, if he has stopped asking you out on dates, that’s a bad sign.
Your s.o. used to be really eager to spend time with you, but not anymore—he always comes up with excuses lately why he can’t hang out.
This is him not valuing quality time together, which again, could be correlated to unloyalty.
3. Your sex life has also changed.
Be it him suddenly learning new moves in bed, or him not expressing the desire to do anything anymore.
Both changes could be a result of unfaithfulness on his part!
When a partner cheats, they might experience an increase in their libido; but it’s also possible for their guilt and shame to make them have less sexual desire for you.
4. He suddenly pays attention to how he looks and dresses—he never did before.
He’s buying new clothes, wearing new cologne, and spending more time on his appearance overall!
And meanwhile, it’s completely normal to want to take care of oneself, a partner suddenly doing this is a bit suspicious.
You feel it in your gut that you’re not the reason why he’s taking care of his appearance out of the blue, so who could it be?
5. He’s really secretive with his devices.
And this is especially concerning if he just started being overprotective of them; you can’t even touch his phone, no matter how much you need it.
He’s really against the idea of letting you borrow his phone, and when he does (though I doubt he will), he’s anxious and rushes you to give it back.
If a partner is this secretive about their devices, chances are they’re hiding something.
6. He gets defensive/aggressive over the most trivial matters.
He’s always looking to start fights—it’s starting to look as if he’s irritated by every little thing you do.
This is a classic sign when it comes to cheaters; subconsciously, they’re not happy with the relationship and this will push them to be hostile.
It’s also probable that he’s intentionally starting fights over the smallest things just to have an excuse to not contact you while he goes out to cheat.
7. Both intense arguing and no arguing are bad signs!
We just can’t catch a break.
But yes! If he argues either too much or not at all, that’s not something to be ignored.
- As I said, arguing over the most trivial issues shows that a partner is somehow over the relationship;
- And no arguing at all isn’t all that better either: it shows a lack of effort and interest.
8. Whenever you peek at his phone, there’s one person who always stands out.
They’re the ones who he always talks to; he receives multiple notifications in a day from that person alone. And this is not something to overlook.
You could also find out if he’s on Tinder or other dating apps by peeking at his notifications!
Though it’s not 100% guaranteed, that person could be your partner’s side piece—based on how often they talk to each other and in what way.
And keep in mind: cheating comes in other forms aside from physical!
9. And when you ask about that person, he behaves weirdly.
When you do ask him about who the person he talks so often is, he never gives you a straight answer.
- He gets aggressive;
- He panics;
- He tries to distract you;
- He changes the topic;
- And/or he refuses to answer altogether.
He might be thinking you’re onto him, and you getting this close to finding out the truth will make him react in a very odd way.
10. He’s removed you from his social media and given you a crappy excuse.
Excuse my language, but a partner removing you from their socials and giving you a lame reason has got to be one of the most annoying things:
“We see each other every day. There’s no need to add each other on social media.”
If a partner is serious, they will never stop showing you off.
He’s cheating online, and because of that, he doesn’t want you and his affair partner(s) to find out about each other.
Also, he doesn’t want to ruin his chances with other potential romantic/sexual mates.
11. A cheater is usually distracted by his phone!
As we can see, there are a lot of tech clues having to do with this.
Since most cheaters utilize their phones, so keep an eye out for your partner’s phone habits!
Your significant other is always on his phone talking to somebody and having the time of his life, even when you two are spending time together.
He’s always giggling and smiling whenever he’s on his phone—when he’s with you, though, he’s always serious.
12. Yet, despite his obvious increase in screen time, he takes an eternity to text you back.
He’s always on his phone, yet takes forever to respond to your texts and calls—the math isn’t adding up.
When people cheat and develop a deeper fondness for their affair partner, they will stop giving as much time and attention to their main partner.
You can see that he’s online and capable of replying to your texts, but he doesn’t; cheaters stop making an effort to keep the communication going.
13. You see new, unknown purchases made from his bank account.
If it’s stuff that he doesn’t use and stuff he hasn’t given to you, then it’s possible it’s gifts for his affair partner.
If you want to expose a cheating spouse, take a look at his bank statement—are there any purchases on:
- Jewelry he doesn’t use;
- Clothing that’s obviously not for him;
- Fancy reservations he never took you to;
- Hotel bookings, and more suspicious purchases?
Because if so, it doesn’t get any clearer that he is, in fact, cheating and spoiling his affair partner!
14. You keep finding stuff that doesn’t belong to you or him in his room.
And if it’s not yours or his, I’m positive we can assume it belongs to a third person: an affair partner. You want to look out for
- Already-opened condom wrappers.
See if you can find stuff like this—stuff that belongs to another woman or is used with other people (like condom packages).
15. He’s often unreachable.
You call and text him, but he doesn’t respond; your calls don’t go through and he’s gone for a long time.
It could be a technical issue, but also not—when cheaters go to carry out their cheating activities, they usually turn off their phones.
The same could be happening with your man: if and when he goes out to cheat, he doesn’t want to be disturbed.
Hence, there are times you just can’t get a hold of him.
16. He’s started coming home later than usual lately.
His schedule seems to be changing a lot lately: it’s erratic and inconsistent.
He doesn’t come home when his work and/or classes are finished—he comes home later at night.
He doesn’t tell you where he is, what he’s doing, and with whom; he doesn’t let you know beforehand like he once did.
17. He insists that you don’t call or text him that often.
A partner saying they don’t want you talking to them even when they’re not busy is yet another concerning sign.
If your man is cheating, he says this because he doesn’t want others to know he’s already in a relationship.
For example, he could be hitting it off with another woman, and your attempt to contact him will burst his bubble.
Another explanation is that he consistently goes out with his affair partner and finds your calling and texting bothersome.
Whichever it is, he’s up to no good by saying this!
18. Pretty obvious, but if he has dating apps installed on his phone, chances are he uses them to cheat.
Don’t fall for lame excuses such as: “I’ve had them for a long time, I don’t use them!” or “I only use them to make friends!”
As soon as a person gets into an exclusive relationship, one of the first things to do should be to delete their dating profiles.
He’s most likely using them to meet up with other people, but even if he’s not (again, I doubt he’s not), not deleting dating apps is enough to make a partner uncomfortable.
19. He stopped making an effort in your relationship/marriage.
The effort to maintain the relationship just isn’t there anymore.
He doesn’t communicate or try to solve any issues you two might have; he doesn’t pay any attention or importance to you or the relationship.
Spending quality time together with you is a hassle for him nowadays; it was never like this before.
If you feel as if you’re the only one making an effort, then you most likely are—cheaters stop caring once they find a new person they can cheat with.
20. Cheating may be involved if he has stopped being as affectionate.
- No public display of affection;
- Not saying “I love you”;
- No cuddles after sex;
- No more cute compliments;
- No more acting all cheesy and lovey-dovey;
- No kisses or any other sign of affection.
Once a person cheats on their partner, they will experience one of the two:
They will feel remorseful—they feel guilty and will hesitate to show any type of affection;
They automatically lose interest and pull away due to the fact they found a new mate.
Keep in mind that there are also cheaters who feel no guilt and have no problem showing affection to the cheatee.
21. There is little to no communication in your relationship.
You two barely communicate things anymore, and you’re certain it’s his fault.
Something the majority of cheaters have in common is that they lose the will to communicate; you can’t have a meaningful conversation with them.
And that’s because they stopped caring.
The most you can get out of him is maybe a “Hmm.” or “Whatever.”
Maybe the occasional “I see. That’s crazy.”—you get my point! Even for really important matters, he doesn’t have a lot to say.
22. He’s no longer there for you, even when you really need him.
One of the most heartbreaking things in a relationship is when your significant other isn’t there for you when you need them.
And if your partner is doing this, then I’m afraid there’s not much we can do; he’s cheating or at the very least losing interest.
He’s long stopped showing empathy and willingness to be there for you when you go through tough times.
23. He’s completely emotionally detached from you.
He no longer updates you about what’s going on with his life.
VerywellMind defines emotional detachment as the feeling of being disconnected from others’ feelings.
This includes a person being unable and unwilling to get interested in others’ emotional lives, which may occur as a coping mechanism for people dealing with stressful situations.
If your partner no longer expresses interest in your emotional state and well-being as well as doesn’t talk about his, there could be many reasons.
One of those reasons is that he’s being unfaithful, and as a result, he no longer feels comfortable deepening your connection.
24. “Work” seems to have him quite busy lately.
But you don’t buy that for even one second—you have a good reason to doubt that his work isn’t making him have those frequent “business trips”.
Cheaters love using work as an excuse to stay out late and go on trips with their lovers, and who are we to question them, right?
Well, wrong—considering how often people use business trips as an excuse to cheat, we have every right to ask questions.
25. Your partner’s friends are awkward around you.
They barely talk and constantly exchange glances.
You notice that his friends are acting weird lately—they seem uncomfortable and awkward around you as if they know something you don’t.
Well, they may know something; they know your partner is cheating on you.
26. He’s no longer curious about you and your life.
He doesn’t ask you questions anymore; he doesn’t ask about your day or how you’re doing.
He keeps everything surface-level and doesn’t bother to go any deeper—he’s giving his attention to another person in this area.
27. He starts criticizing you out of the blue and for no reason.
Before, he used to have no complaints whatsoever—he always talked about how perfect you are and how you’re the person of his dreams.
But now, out of the blue, he starts nitpicking what he sees as “flaws”;
“This color doesn’t look too good on you.” “Why do you talk that way?” “How come you overcook this every time?”
Nowadays all he does is criticize you for everything you do; he might even have the audacity to compare you to other people or his lover(s).
And before you get any funny ideas, keep in mind that this is his immaturity speaking!
In no way is what he says true; a cheater’s opinion isn’t to be taken seriously under any circumstances.
– What are some signs he’s thinking about cheating?
If you’re positive that your partner hasn’t cheated yet, but is thinking about it, then let me tell you this:
Some signs let you know he’s having such thoughts, however, they’re a bit trickier!
- He’s installed or visited dating apps on his phone, which means he’s probably used them;
- He’s only now taking care of his appearance;
- He’s started staying out late (probably trying his luck);
- He’s talking a lot about open relationships, which might be happening because he wants to open yours;
- He’s slowly pulling away from you;
- He’s so quiet lately;
- He started following new women in his socials;
- He now goes out with his single friends way too often;
- His location is always turned off when he’s out;
- He doesn’t text/call you back all night;
- He’s talking more often about one specific person in his life.
Your gut feeling that he’s cheating is a sign in itself.
Many people tend to ignore their gut feelings and later on regret not having trusted them—our intuition is more reliable than we might think.
You are, to some degree, doubting your partner because of a gut feeling.
Maybe his behavior concerns you, or maybe you saw something you weren’t supposed to and now you can’t stop thinking about it.
Whichever it is, these signs are all you need to know if your partner is being unfaithful, or not!