17 signs telling you he’s married — How to find out?

If you believe that your boyfriend is already married, then hold that thought: married men lead very secretive lives.

According to a survey by GQ, 21% of the men in exclusive relationships claimed to be still using dating apps.

The number of married men who seek extra-marital affairs is, in reality, much higher than that in real life—we’re not safe online either!

These are the signs that will prevent you from being a homewrecker.

1. You don’t know any of his relatives or acquaintances.

You don’t know any of his relatives or acquaintances.

Red flag #1: he shuts down your request to meet the people close to him formally or informally (family members and friends).

If his social circle were to find out about your existence, they’d most likely tell his wife—this is why he keeps you all separated.

2. He doesn’t let you come over.

Know that his ongoing disapproval of you visiting his place means something, and that “something” could be that he’s cheating with you.

If you’re this man’s mistress, you’ll either meet up in hotels or at your place because he lives with his wife and children.

3. He pays with cash only!

Credit cards are one of the most common ways people bust their cheating spouse’s affairs, so see if he has a preference for paying with his credit card only.

4. He visits only for sex.

If you can tell he only sees you as a booty call, then get out of there as soon as possible.

Most married people are only looking to live their sexual fantasies, so their affairs are mostly physical.

5. You communicate on a dating app.

You met him on a dating app and that’s the only place you two communicate

A survey by HighSpeedInternet demonstrated how 27% of participants used dating sites while in a relationship, so we know not every online dater is single!

If you met this guy while swiping on Tinder or Bumble and got to know him “better”, yet he doesn’t add you on social media, then he might have a spouse.

6. You only talk on apps like WhatsApp or Snapchat and his social media profiles look fake.

The issue with apps like WhatsApp is that a lot of cheaters use them.

Cheaters also use Snapchat for the same reason! Because you’re not able to see valuable clues like friend lists.

However, some cheaters juggle between their affairs and daily lives by opening fake accounts.

  • Analyze his online profile—if he has no photos of himself no posts or friends, and no sign of activity, then it’s most definitely a faux account.

7. You don’t know a whole lot about him, do you?

If the man you’re dating only sees you as his affair partner, then he won’t risk telling you more about his life.

This is an obvious clue you’re being deceived, so you need to be careful.

Do you know what he does for a living? Do you know where he lives? What about his friends? 

8. His attitude changes whenever he’s with you and receives a call.

The next time somebody calls him, closely listen to how he answers.

  • That might be his wife calling—if so, he’s going to lie about who he’s with and tell you that no one important called.

But if he’s an experienced con man, he’ll turn on Airplane Mode!

9. This guy doesn’t respond to you for days at a time.

If he goes days or even weeks without talking to you, then you’re most likely the other woman—this man has a set date when he can and cannot talk.

That time could be when he’s away on “business trips” or when his wife is asleep/not home (so only when the coast is clear).

10. None of your dates are impromptu.

Married men cannot go on an unplanned date because that means exposing themselves to risky situations (e.g. going outside “schedule”).

If so, he’ll accept to go out only under his requirements (he picks the place, time, and how long you’ll be there).

11. Is he anxious when out in public?

If he is anxious whenever you go out, then he could be on the lookout for acquaintances—if he’s married and somebody sees him with you, it’s game over.

So he’s always looking around, fidgeting, rushing to leave, and begging you to go somewhere more private.

12. He doesn’t stick around for long after sex.

You never see him the next morning and he always has some excuse: “I had to go because I’m busy! I wish I could stay longer with you.”

Cheaters who are married can’t stay with their lovers for too long as it’ll make their partners suspicious.

13. He doesn’t want to be official.

You might have been vocal about the topic of exclusivity, but this man either changes the subject, rejects it, or gives false promises.

We’re exploring the possibility of him already being married, so it’s obvious why he can’t commit to you.

14. If he’s married, he won’t be able to keep every promise.

If he’s married, he won’t be able to keep certain promises.

E.g. promises to introduce you to his family or to take you out on a date—we know why he can’t introduce you as his girl, so let’s talk about the “date” thing.

  • Married men often cancel plans when something unexpected comes up (family-related issues mainly), so view his flakiness as a signal.

He might have unexpected plans with his wife and kids, and since they’re his priority, he ends up canceling your much-anticipated plans!

15. A married man gets mad when you leave sex marks!

He forbids you from leaving any hickeys, scratches, or makeup on his body and clothes—if his wife were to see them, she’d instantly know he’s cheating.

This is why he makes a big deal out of the sex marks you leave on him (even though they’re fairly normal).

16. There is an indentation on his ring finger.

There is an indentation on his ring finger that indicates he’s married

Rings sometimes leave temporary indentations on fingers; discoloration is really common too.

The next time you and your date meet up, pay close attention to his middle/ring finger and see if you notice anything of sorts.

17. He always has some ridiculous excuse!

Whenever he spends days without seeing you or whenever he bails in the middle of the night, he always gives you ridiculous excuses:

“I lost my phone!”

“I was really busy and that’s why I couldn’t text you even though it takes literally 5 seconds!”

How do I ask a man if he’s *potentially* married?

There’s really no other way but to ask him straight up once the time is right!

  • “Can I ask you something? You give me married vibes with the way you act. Do you perhaps have a wife?”

But you mustn’t place all of your faith in him, as married people tend to lie in order to keep their affairs a secret.

Instead, you can get your magnifying glass and put your detective hat on to investigate what his marital status really is!

How do you check if the man you’re with is married?

Cheaters who are already married indeed tend to be incredibly cautious with how much they let on (their name, workplace, house of residency, etc.)!

But this doesn’t mean that exposing them is unattainable—use what you know about them to expose their true, cheating nature!

Search up his first and last name on social media.

Search up his first and last name on social media.

Go on Facebook, put his name on the search bar, and click Enter.

If he comes up, then that’s great—if not, click on the People tab and tap on Filters (at the top right).

Specify the deets so that you’ll have an easier time finding his secret social media accounts.

You can use Search Engines for this (e.g. Google, Firefox, Bing) by writing the person’s name, phone number, and/or email address on the search bar.

If he’s sent you an alleged selfie, reverse-search it.

If he’s sent you an image of what he looks like, reverse-search it.

Use SwindlerBuster Image Search, Google Lens, Bing Visual Search, etc. to reverse-search his pictures and verify his identity

If he’s not a catfish, then you’ll uncover his online profiles (which will help you find out if he’s married or not).

Call him and see what your contact is saved as on his phone.

Call him and see what your phone number is saved as on his phone

Cheating husbands throw their spouses off by saving their AP’s phone number under a different name—a guy’s name or an emoji, for example.

Call outside of your “appointment”.

I’m using the word “appointment” because technically speaking, if you two are allowed to talk only during specific times, that’s what it is.

But if you’ve had enough of his games, call him at one of the times he’s told you not to call—his wife might pick up instead.

I found out my boyfriend is married. What should I do?

If you have found yourself in this less-than-desirable situation, then you must be thinking, “What should I do?”.

These are the important next steps if you find out that the guy you’ve been dating is in a relationship or even married.

1. Get your thoughts and feelings in line—look after yourself.

The fact that he has kept that part of his life a secret from you should be weighing you down, but I want you to take a deep breath and relax.

Calm down, reassure yourself, and ask your friends for their perspective/help!

2. Talk with him and break up the relationship you two had going.

He’s a liar and a cheater—this is NOT the type of man you should be looking forward to spending the rest of your life with.

Reach out to him and say things as they are: you found out he’s married, are extremely disappointed and hurt, and wish to say goodbye.

3. Weigh out the pros and cons of telling his wife.

Although I think that the cheatee should always know about their partner’s affair, some might disagree.

  • She deserves to know the truth, you might finally knock some sense into the cheater, and you could be saving her from future heartbreak.

However, his wife might hold a grudge against you, not believe you, or you might start feeling guilty for breaking up a “happy” family.

Your call.

4. Don’t look back.

After you end things with this man for good, don’t return to him—no matter how much he tries to win you back, remind yourself that he’s a cheater.

You can tell if a man is married by the way he acts…

A cheater won’t warn you he’s a cheater, so you’ll have to figure it out for yourself—this can be done by looking at how he behaves!

If you’re not able to tell from that alone, then you can try to Google him or use reverse image search tools to find his whereabouts.

Good luck, and hopefully he’s not married!

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