The mind of a cheater is a complicated place…

They cheat on their partner out of free will and refuse to break up simply because it would be too much of a hassle in one way or another.

And though it would be easier for them to do what they want while being single, they hold onto the very partner they disrespected for dear life.

Why people cheat is important in explaining this phenomenon.

There are many reasons why cheaters cheat, and they all impact their decisions of not wanting to break up.

First, let’s look at some examples of why people cheat:

• Sexual dissatisfaction;
• Loss of love;
• Drunken “mistakes”;
• Wanting to make a statement (e.g. “I have no problems replacing you if you start acting up!”), and more.

For instance, if your partner cheated on you because they were drunk, they might refuse to leave because they still love you.

That was only an example, though! The reasons cheaters don’t leave are much more abundant and complex:

1. Despite everything, they still love their partners.

Saying that cheaters love their partners is a bit ironic considering people would never hurt the one they love.

• It could have been a “drunken mistake”, as I said: someone loves their partner very dearly, but acted hastily after having a round of beers!

Whatever nonsensical excuse, technically, it’s still possible for them to have had feelings for their partner during the affair.

And of course, those feelings of love prevent them from leaving their partner—they feel regretful and try to make things work.

2. The cheater never loved their s.o., they were only attached.

It’s very much possible for a person to cheat and refuse to break up with the cheatee due to attachment.

The bond they have created with their partner is too strong, and breaking it makes them anxious—the cheatee is the cheater’s safe space.

According to PsychCentral, love is when you have feelings for a person, and attachment is how safe and satisfied you feel with the person.

It sounds quite selfish—and it is—but what sometimes stops cheaters from leaving their partners is how attached they feel to them.

3. They don’t want things to change.

A lot of people feel uncomfortable with change, especially when they are happy with how things are going.

In this case, cheaters don’t break up because they value the harmony of their daily lives, and breaking up with their partner will ruin it.

It could be love, it could be attachment, or it could be other factors that make them want to leave things as is.

4. Divorces are troublesome… and expensive.

According to RightLawyers, around 17% of marriages end due to infidelity, and according to a state’s law, the cheater has to pay quite a bit.

Of course, this depends on factors such as the affair’s nature, the marriage, and the custody of children.

Regardless, lawyers and court proceedings alone could cost a fortune, hence why cheaters find it easier to not divorce at all.

5. A breakup was never on the agenda.

A cheater might not end the relationship if they were simply looking to add some spice to their life…by cheating, I guess?

They’re otherwise quite fulfilled by the relationship in an emotional sense, but sexual dissatisfaction is what urged them to do this.

We also have people who chase the thrill: they’re the ones who get with other people knowing dang well they’re at risk of being caught!

6. The cheater is afraid of being alone so they’ll hesitate to end the relationship.

Some cheaters are insecure, and with that being said, they don’t know what life has in store for them: what if they remain alone?!

The unknown scares them, so much so that it urges them to stay in the relationship but cheat for personal fulfillment.

They need to constantly be romantically involved with someone to feel secure.

7. Cheaters will likely not end the marriage if they have children.

Having children is perhaps one of the most common reasons why couples never get a divorce.

Since it’s very physically and emotionally draining for children to navigate their parents’ divorce, the parents don’t want to put them through the pain.

Meaning that even if a person cheats in a marriage, out of love and consideration for the children, they won’t leave.

8. They don’t want their reputation to be tarnished over it.

No one likes cheaters—not even cheaters themselves.

If two people break up or get divorced because of cheating, the cheatee will most likely tell others what happened.

Being known as a cheater is known to tarnish people’s reputations, especially if they are married and/or have children.

• This will likely affect their social and professional lives negatively.

A cheater might dread being seen as a social outcast, so they do the selfish thing of staying and working to earn their partner’s trust back.

9. They believe cheating is their birthright.

It’s sad, however, it happens—some cheaters think they have the right to cheat on their partner and are entitled to them regardless.

It could be the cheater’s narcissistic nature, cultural background, or partner’s (cheatee’s) forgiving nature—whatever it is, it enables their cheating.

They know they can cheat and won’t face the consequences; to them, unfaithfulness is second nature and something they won’t have to worry about.

10. They know they can cheat and get away with it.

A lot of people cheat because they can—their partners forgive them no matter what.

Now, don’t get me wrong: in no way am I saying that it’s the partner’s fault because it’s absolutely not.

They know that at the end of the day, they’ll have a partner they can return home to—someone who will put up with them no matter what.

11. They’re in it too deep to leave.

Another very typical reason why people cheat but don’t leave their partner is because they feel obligated to stay.

They’ve been in a long, serious relationship together and have made commitments—they’ve formed a family.

They’ve gotten married, bought a house, helped each other during tough times, and shared responsibilities.

What about the people who can’t leave their cheating partners?

What’s most shocking is the fact that a handful of people stay with their cheating partner—for what reason, though?

– Love.

People struggle to leave cheaters because of how much they love them: love is blind and makes us forgive even the most treacherous of acts.

However, this doesn’t mean that the person is okay with being cheated on—they don’t appreciate the pain.

– Family.

The cheatee will endure the pain for their children’s sake.

At times, people think out the pros and cons while deciding something, and they conclude that putting up with a cheater is for the best.

They don’t want all that effort (e.g. house, work, finance) to go to waste.

– Insecurity.

People can’t find the strength to leave their cheating partners because they’re afraid of being alone or not being able to find someone else.

Plus, being cheated on impacts the cheatee’s self-esteem as is. It all comes down to them not thinking they’ll feel loved again—which by the way isn’t true.

– Hope.

A lot of people stay with their cheating partners because they’re hoping that somehow, deep down, they’ll be able to fix things.

– Fear of change.

Change for most people is an uncomfortable thing, especially in situations like these.

Why some stay is because they’re content with their lives and would hate for anything to change the way things are going—including a breakup.

Divorce brings inevitable changes in the relationship and that in itself is enough to scare people into staying in a relationship.

– Empathy.

Pretty shocking…

Their partner could have had a hard life or even is currently going through something bad, and that makes the cheatee feel empathetic.

They wouldn’t want to add to their plate; instead what they do is stay with the cheater regardless of how intense their pain is.

– Codependency.

Such is the case in most abusive relationships, and unfortunately, it happens too often.

People stay in bad relationships because they have no other choice; they have to endure their partner’s cheating.

They don’t see breaking up with their abusive partners as an option from a financial or emotional viewpoint.

• If you or other people you know are stuck in an abusive relationship with no way out, know that there’s always a way out. Don’t suffer in silence.

Although it would be easier for everyone involved, cheaters just don’t leave.

Hurting another person yet refusing to do the decent thing by letting them go is extremely selfish.

Even though they know this, they believe they have the right to go on with the relationship as if nothing happened.

The very many surprising reasons vary from personal feelings to sheer obligation, but why cheaters don’t leave never fails to confuse people!