No matter how discreet some cheaters are, they can never 100% conceal their wrongdoings—be it evidence they left behind or ways they act.
Unfortunately, a cheating spouse isn’t unheard of; if you’re having these types of suspicions, I’m sure you have a good reason.
It could be that they’re exhibiting cheater behavior, or that you’re having a persistent gut feeling about it.
Know that what you’re feeling is valid, not to mention, very normal; there are also ways to know whether a spouse is cheating.
If you’re wondering how you can find out if your spouse is cheating, you’re in luck because I have some interesting methods—and they’re completely free!
1. Talk to your spouse about your suspicions.
Let’s get the healthiest (and fairest) method out of the way!
Communication is perhaps the least toxic way to go about things in this aspect—have a conversation with your spouse about your suspicions.
Tell them about how you feel and what’s triggering those negative feelings; make it known you’re not accusing them, simply looking for reassurance.
See if the topic evokes suspicious reactions (e.g. defensiveness, evasion, aggressiveness, shift of blame, etc).
Though I doubt a cheater will tell you they’re cheating, communication is key at the end of the day!
2. Closely monitor their social media activity—you might find valuable information.
The majority of cheaters cheat online, and they’re not too careful with it.
Check your partner’s social media activity regularly, and see if they:
- are constantly following new strangers that match their preferences;
- comment on other people’s posts inappropriately;
- throw flirty/sexual innuendos to other people;
- like sexually explicit photos online;
- have profiles that don’t indicate they’re married.
If this is how your spouse acts online, there’s a good chance they’re trying to attract others.
Flirting with strangers on social media (and dismissing their toxic behavior) is typical for cheating partners.
3. While you’re at it, check if your spouse’s habits regarding their phone have changed.
Chances are they have.
Following up on social media observation, a cheating partner will also act unusually with their phone.
For starters, they’ll attempt to keep it out of your sight, tilting it away from you whenever they’re on it.
They won’t ever be seen without their phone—it’s always either in their pocket or near them.
Touching it is out of the question, let alone using it; if this is how your partner acts, there’s a high probability they’re trying to hide something.
4. Whenever they’re having a “work trip”, ask your partner’s co-workers about it!
If you’re 100% certain that your spouse is using “work trips” as an excuse to go cheat—as most cheaters do—investigate a bit further.
If you and your spouse’s co-workers are well-acquainted (or even friends) ask them how their business trip went.
Innocently ask about it and see whether they had something urgent to attend, or your spouse was lying about it.
It doesn’t hurt to have a low-key spy; for this to work, you need to ask someone who’s not close to your spouse, or they’ll blow your cover!
5. To find out if a spouse is cheating, look at their bank statements—if possible.
Cheaters usually spoil their affair partner with gifts—to see if your spouse is doing that, take a look at their bank statements.
See if any transactions have been made, say, maybe an article your spouse doesn’t use, a romantic restaurant, a hotel room, etc.
Once you have access to this information, it gets pretty clear—if they’re not using a different account, that is.
6. See if they’ve received any seemingly romantic gifts.
The spoiling can go both ways: see if your spouse regularly receives gifts from other people.
Such as jewelry, clothes, perfume, or other stuff they wouldn’t normally buy themselves—ask them about it!
See if they’re hiding any of these gifts too as there’s a possibility they want to prevent you from finding them.
7. Create a fake social media profile and flirt with your spouse.
A classic, free method: message your husband/wife from a fake account (fake pictures, name, etc) and flirt with them a little bit.
Don’t come off too strong though; take your time and pretend to get to know them to not look suspicious.
Ask them if they’d be down to meet up sometimes; truly understand what your partner’s replies to a “stranger” mean.
If they flirt back and even agree to meet up, then there’s a good chance your spouse has cheated—they attempted to do so this time as well.
8. Casually ask to exchange passwords and wait for their reaction.
Do they get defensive, or even aggressive? Or do they perhaps try to come up with an excuse as to why you shouldn’t share passwords?
Some cheaters might even try to guilt-trip by berating us for not trusting them.
These are all cheaters’ classic reactions to getting cornered—don’t fall for any of them.
A loyal partner would have no problem sharing their passwords with you they would’ve done so by now.
9. If you want to see whether your spouse has visited any dating sites, check in with your ISP.
If you want to see whether your partner uses dating sites—which by the way is usually considered cheating—then ask your Internet Service Provider.
If only you and your husband/wife live at home and use the Wi-Fi, then it will make this method easier.
Contact your ISP and request the search history for a certain period.
If you see dating or other suspicious sites on the list, then there you have it: if it’s not you who visited them, it’s probably your partner’s doing.
10. More free methods to see if your spouse is on dating sites!
There are two more (free) ways to find a person’s dating profiles—let me demonstrate:
1. Search for their username on Google.
Search for your spouse’s potential username (name, nickname, existing handles) together with the site’s URL.
It should look something like this: site:tinder.com jess or tinder.com/@jess
If your spouse is using real information on their potential dating profile, then this will work—for specific dating sites.
2. Reverse image search your partner’s selfies.
Sites such as TinEye and DupliChecker let you search the world wide web by using only a picture.
If your spouse is using their pictures on dating sites, then reverse image search tools will resurface their profiles.
Again, this method only works for visible sites, such as Tinder!
11. We can find out if a spouse is cheating by going through their phone.
We all saw this coming! The toxic method of finding out if a partner’s cheating.
Yes, going through a partner’s phone has the highest success rate in terms of seeing whether they’re cheating or not.
This way, we can check their call logs, messages, saved images/videos, and all we need.
However, this is only the surface-level evidence, the tip of the iceberg—proof that can easily be (and is most likely) deleted.
Luckily, though, there are more things to check—and do—on a partner’s phone to see whether they’ve been unfaithful, or not!
12. Check their phone’s browsing history!
Not deleting browsing history is a rookie mistake for cheaters; though I doubt your partner would make the mistake, it’s worth trying.
On your partner’s phone, go to the browser he uses, and click on History—if they haven’t deleted it, it should be there.
Not only will you be able to see what sites your spouse has visited, but you might even be able to access their accounts.
13. Take a quick look at Google Password Manager.
You might find something useful.
If your partner uses Google’s password-saving features, you’ll be able to see all their passwords, which will come in handy.
Since a lot of people cheat through their phones, having your spouse’s accounts’ passwords will help you figure out whether they’re up to no good.
You’ll see if they’re online cheating, or if they use their phones to arrange affair dates.
14. See if they’re cheating by looking at their deleted text messages.
Most cheaters delete any suspicious text messages (such as sexting) they exchange with their affair partners—however, there are ways to recover them!
On iPhone, go to Messages > Edit > Show Recently Deleted.
And on Android, simply go to Samsung Messages > the triple-dot menu > and select the trash bin icon!
If your spouse messages their affair partners but deletes the evidence, you’ll be able to view them regardless.
However, keep in mind that people can remove deleted texts from the designated place.
15. See if they’ve ever had dating sites installed on their phone.
To see the full list of all the apps installed on your spouse’s phone (and to see if he’s hiding any dating ones), go to Apps in Settings.
But since it’s extremely easy to delete and re-install apps, I have another trick for you!
To see what apps have been previously installed on iPhone, simply go to the App Store, and search for dating sites!
If there is a cloud icon next to the dating app, then it has been previously installed!
On Android, go to Play Store > Manage Apps & Devices > Manage > Installed > and click on Not Installed.
There you’ll see a list of all uninstalled apps on your partner’s device—are there any dating apps present?
16. See if they’ve ever been connected to suspicious networks.
If your spouse frequently goes places to carry out their affairs, then it’s most likely a place with a Wi-Fi connection, which they probably used.
It could be a hotel room, another person’s house, or other suspicious places.
To have access to this information on your spouse’s iPhone, go to Settings > Wi-Fi > Edit > and you need to enter your partner’s phone passcode.
As for Android, go to Settings again > Wi-Fi > click on the three dots > Advanced > and click on Manage Networks.
17. If you suspect your partner often goes out to cheat, enable Auto-Answer Calls.
If you’re positive that your spouse meets up with their affair partner often and doesn’t pick up their phone when doing so, try this:
Turn the volume down on your partner’s phone, click on Settings, and go to Accessibility.
After that, go to Touch, and scroll down until you find Call Audio Routing, enable Auto-Answer Calls.
Now, your spouse’s phone will automatically answer your calls, and since you turned the volume down, they won’t hear that you called.
You’ll be able to hear their conversation and assess whether they’ve lied or not—you’ll also know whom they’re with and what they’re doing.
18. See what location your partner has been to—here’s how:
On your partner’s iPhone Settings, go to Privacy & Security, click on it, and after that tap on Location Services—scroll down to System Services.
After that, find Significant Locations, enter your spouse’s iPhone passcode, and there you have it!
And if your spouse has an Android, go to Google Timeline on Google Maps.
This way, you’ll be able to view the places your spouse has been to—this is a really valuable piece of information.
If your spouse has been going places with their affair partners, you’ll most definitely know.
19. Sharing their location with your phone will help you keep track of your spouse at all times.
Now, do note that this might notify your partner one way or another; they might find out you’ve shared their location.
If you’re still interested in trying this out, this is how:
For iPhone:
Go to your partner’s Find My app and tap on Start Sharing Location—pick your contact.
Accept the request from your phone, however, do not share your location back as this will notify your spouse!
For Android:
On Android, location-sharing is done through Google Maps!
On your spouse’s phone, go to Google Maps, and click on their icon; after that click on Location Sharing and then New Share.
Click how long you want your partner to share their location with you, pick your contact, and press Share!
20. Look out for signs that a spouse is, in fact, cheating—the behavioral signs of a cheater.
Knowing the signs of a cheater’s behavior is another way of finding out what they’ve been doing—an unfaithful spouse will behave differently.
Their guilt will, sooner or later, show itself and make them act in a specific way; all the sneaking, remorse, and lies will eventually catch up to them.
Watch out for any of these signs, which are strong indicators that a partner is having an affair:
- They’re a bit too overprotective over their devices;
- You notice they have a new-found habit of taking care of their appearance;
- They’re physically and emotionally distant;
- You’re the one they accuse of cheating;
- They suddenly start spoiling you—out of guilt;
- They make suspicious purchases;
- They regularly receive gifts;
- They come home smelling of different cologne;
- Your friends tell you to keep an eye on them;
- The two of you are spending less time together;
- Suddenly, your spouse has to attend a lot of business trips and other excuses;
- Your partner’s phone is always blowing up from strangers’ texts, and more!
More ways to figure out if your partner is cheating—Extra methods to ensure your success!
If you’re unsure about the free methods then some options require payment and tend to be quite accurate for finding particular information.
Here are some more ways to find out if your spouse is cheating:
– You can choose apps used for spying on cheating partners.
There is spyware used for exactly this purpose—spying apps used to track a cheater’s online and offline behavior. They’re discreet and effective!
You will need physical access to your spouse’s phone as you need to set up the apps and follow the necessary steps.
After doing this, you will have access to information such as your spouse’s browsing history, call logs, messages, gallery, location, passwords, and more.
Here are the most well-received spying apps used by internet users:
– Using third-party apps that help find dating profiles.
If you’re suspecting your partner of cheating, specifically using dating sites, then there are ways to see if you’re right.
Because Tinder is one of the most popular dating sites, there’s a good chance that your spouse is there—this is where SwindlerBuster comes to play!
Similarly, you can use BuzzHumble if your search mainly focuses on Bumble, another very popular dating site!
And if you’re looking to do a more thorough research regarding your spouse, you can use services such as SocialCatfish, Spokeo, BeenVerified, and others.
– Planting a tracking device in your joint car is also an option.
Yes, you can also use a GPS tracking device in your spouse’s car—but only if you own it jointly, or else it could get you into legal trouble.
Not to mention it’s toxic.
You’ll be notified every time your spouse is in their car and moves to a different location!
If your spouse is meeting up with their lover and going places, a tracking device will be useful in catching them red-handed.
– Consider hiring a private investigator.
Another very possible (and pricey) option: have a private investigator find out about a partner’s infidelity.
They’ll give you all the necessary details and information you need to prove your spouse’s unfaithfulness.
Make your research and pick a reputable, popular private-investigating agency and follow the proper procedures!
Uncovering a spouse’s infidelity for free is doable!
As we saw, finding out if a spouse is cheating is tricky but possible!
Starting from using technical methods, all the way down to observing a cheating spouse’s behavior, we can choose from many options.
Having the gut feeling that a partner is cheating is awful, however, every person is bound to feel such suspicions.
Knowing for sure, though, will take much more than intuition—it takes proper and clever techniques.