22 surprising reasons why men in relationships go on dating sites!

Cheating is a long-lived phenomenon that only got worse once online dating got introduced.

Online dating data shows that in 2022 alone, the number of online dating site users spiked up to a whopping 366 million.

And with that shocking number, we are bound to come across cheaters.

As a matter of fact, according to data from YouGov, 7% of Americans who have ever used them, did so with the intention of cheating.

So, you used Swindlerbuster, or some other method, and found out the harsh truth: a man in a relationship using dating sites.

Why, though? What drives people in relationships to try out dating sites—guys specifically?

Today, we’re going to take a look at the sad truth of why a man who’s in a relationship might be using dating sites!

1. A big number of men use dating sites to cheat.

They use dating sites to cheat

One of the most obvious reasons—guys go on dating sites to cheat and not get caught.

As we all know, dating sites give cheaters the most adequate platform to cheat; they’re private, convenient, and discreet.

Also, they make it almost impossible to find people there, so, all in all, it’s no surprise that many cheaters frequent dating sites or apps.

Men who go there for the sole purpose of cheating talk to multiple people and even meet up with them.

Committing adultery isn’t unusual for people in committed relationships, and dating sites only make it more accessible.

They know they most likely won’t get caught, and that makes them comfortable with using dating platforms as a method of cheating.

2. Men want a “Plan B” in case their current relationship fails.

Men in relationships who use dating sites could be possibly looking for a “Plan B”—another person they can get with in case their relationship ends.

I would say this is pretty common with people though, online or offline.

It’s an easy and effective way of finding potential partners without being found out by their current significant other.

Maybe they don’t have all that much faith in their relationship, or maybe they don’t trust the person they’re involved with.

And yes, this is unfair to the other person!

Giving your all in a relationship only to find out that the other person doesn’t have faith is terrible.

3. Some guys aren’t committed to their partner.

Commitment issues could be possibly playing a significant role here.

According to HealthLine, commitment issues are the fear and unwillingness of a person to commit to a long-term relationship.

Also, guys who have a harder time committing may be more likely to cheat, making this a plausible reason.

For example, a man who can’t or doesn’t want to commit to his partner has no problems exploring other people and ideas.

He also isn’t as serious about the relationship as opposed to his counterpart.

Men who aren’t committed usually want a way out—dating sites present them with the perfect opportunity.

Some guys want something more casual; something they can get out of easily.

4. Because a lot of men believe their sexual and emotional needs aren’t being met.

When men think their needs aren’t being met, they tend to rely on other sources that will (hopefully) satisfy them.

If, say, a man believes his partner isn’t fulfilling his sexual desires, he may think about going on dating sites—the most convenient way.

The same thing goes for emotional needs; if a guy believes he isn’t being loved, appreciated, and/or cared for, he will look for other people.

He’s hoping to meet someone who will satisfy him—possibly someone with the same values.

That, or someone with the same kinks and fetishes.

5. He and his partner are in a rocky relationship.

They’re in a rocky relationship

Not all relationships are perfect, but they’re not supposed to be perfect.

Despite all the bad days and imperfections in relationships though, people are supposed to work things through and stay loyal to their partners.

But, that doesn’t always happen, bringing us to another reason why guys in relationships use dating sites.

They have a rocky, unstable, and/or undefined relationship.

That means:

  • A lack of respect;
  • Lack of exclusivity;
  • No boundaries;
  • No effort is being made;
  • Constant arguments that never get sorted out;
  • Toxicity, etc.

People in rocky, toxic relationships frequently don’t feel the need to stay loyal to their partner as they think the relationship is bad as is.

Men, in this case, may also not feel as guilty about committing unfaithfulness due to the vague nature of their relationship.

During—the often—arguments that take place, they never end up solving anything, and instead, they turn to other people for comfort.

6. Some men think they can do whatever they want.

It’s the sad and harsh reality of things—some men think they can do whatever they want and never face the consequences.

And, sadly, that sometimes really is the case.

Non-single men visit dating sites because they have gained the confidence to do so; their partners excuse it.

They know their partner can’t/won’t leave them no matter what they do and they take that for granted.

7. A man who’s not serious about his partner will use dating sites.

If people in relationships use dating platforms, I’m sure we can rule out the possibility of them being serious.

If a man isn’t serious about the relationship and his partner, he won’t think much of his behavior.

Meaning that he doesn’t care how his actions impact a partner, as long as he has his “fun”.

He feeds his partner lies and tells them what they want to hear, but deep down, he is viewing the connection as a game.

Or just a pastime.

8. To stroke his ego.

Another very common reason why guys in a relationship use dating sites are because some are attention seekers.

I’m talking about the need for validation from other people.

Some men go on there to talk to other women in the hopes that they make them feel better about themselves.

And, as you have already guessed: yes, these are insecure men.

They need constant compliments to feel good and desirable—what better way to get them than through strangers on dating sites?

Now, this can get a bit tricky because not all men who use dating sites for this reason actually meet up with people.

9. He’s enjoying the view and fantasizing about what he’s missing out on.

Very confusing, I know.

But some guys like visiting dating sites just to look at the women who are on there; enjoying the view, sort of.

They want to see what they’re missing out on and what they could—or couldn’t—have if they were single.

It’s a pretty weird thing, for sure: why would a person who’s in a committed relationship feel the need to look at other people?

He may or may not interact with others, but that’s not the point.

There’s rarely a good reason for visiting a dating site.

10. He wants to give it a try.

They want to give it a try

A handful of people who visit dating sites do so intending to try them out.

This is another possible reason that pushes men in relationships to make dating profiles; they want to give them a go and see what they’re like.

Dating sites are very trendy now; more and more people are using them every day.

He doesn’t want to feel left out or live his life without giving it at least a try—regardless of their partner’s discomfort.

11. He and his partner are in the early stages of a relationship.

This is the sad truth for a lot of relationships—people aren’t serious in the early stages of their relationship.

They think they can do whatever they please because the relationship is relatively new and “not that deep”.

A guy who has just recently gotten into a relationship sometimes might act out of order by milking every bit of freedom he can find.

Trying to find as much wiggle room as possible, basically.

This all occurs because of a lack of exclusivity, respect, and/or feelings in the beginning.

Men like this think, “Well, we just started dating. Why should I go all out? I can still do what I want.”

And if you’re thinking, “That’s so unfair,” then I 100% agree.

12. He wants to sabotage the relationship.

When a relationship is nearing its end, some people don’t care if what they do hurts the other person or not.

When guys in a relationship use dating sites, they may be thinking of putting an end to their current relationship.

It’s possible for a man to be prepping himself and looking to find other people to date—on dating sites.

He may have lost feelings, or some other reason that makes him want to see other people.

Whatever that reason may be, thinking about breaking up with a significant other without telling them AND continuing to disrespect them towards the end is still very toxic and unfaithful.

13. He’s doing it out of spite to take revenge.

“Revenge cheating” is a thing and it very much happens.

It’s when a person who got cheated on, returns the favor by cheating back.

Is it toxic? Yes. 

Is it the way to go? Well…that depends on the person.

If we see a man who’s in a committed relationship present on dating sites, we can’t rule out the possibility.

He’s revenge-cheating and hoping to get back at his partner for something hurtful they’ve done.

The thing with this is that, sometimes, the partner gives them a pass to cheat, so, a pretty odd concept, for sure.

14. He’s immature and not empathic.

When we think about it, it doesn’t take a genius to know that using dating sites while being in a relationship is bad.

However, some people are immature and have no real concept of consequences.

Guys sometimes don’t think things through and fail to put themselves in their partners’ shoes—they don’t think much of it.

They just can’t seem to comprehend that being on a dating site that’s used for dating and meeting other people, could potentially hurt their partner.

That, or if we see a man who’s still using dating apps despite his relationship, it’s possible he doesn’t want to give up that part of his life.

Which, again, screams, “Immature!”.

15. Men with trust issues also use dating sites.

Men with trust issues also use dating sites

If a man has trust issues, say, he believes his partner is actively cheating on him, that thought will push him to partake in unfaithful activities.

A.k.a. use dating sites.

His trust issues could derive from past relationships in which he was treated unfairly, making him overthink their partner’s loyalty.

In this case, he visits dating sites out of spite; he wants to prepare himself in case he gets cheated on/has already been cheated on.

His reaction? He tries to be the first one to cheat.

He thinks his partner is doing the same thing, and as a result, he feels free to do whatever he wants as well.

16. Because he’s insecure—he feels inferior.

Another very surprising reason: an insecure man who’s in a relationship visits dating sites because of his low self-esteem.

He goes there in hopes of tooting his own horn; he feels the need to know he can get more women.

A guy like this will always try to be one step ahead of you because of how intimidated he is.

He knows that when a woman is way out of his league, she’s secure and able to attract other men as well.

So, to make up for those bitter feelings, he uses dating sites as a way to prove that he too, can pull people.

This, and other disrespectful behavior towards an otherwise amazing partner, is a dead giveaway of an insecure man.

17. He’s seeking new and fresh experiences.

According to Verywellmind, it isn’t unusual for people to get bored in relationships.

There are actions to take to make that boredom disappear, however, some causes are much more serious.

If a man who’s in a relationship still uses dating apps, first of all, that’s a huge red flag.

Chances are that he’s bored and looking for some freshness and excitement.

And by “bored” I don’t mean that his partner is boring—I mean that he’s looking to create different experiences and memories.

Maybe he’s tired of the same routine and person; maybe he was never the type of person to get tied down, to begin with.

Whatever the reason may be, it’s not strong enough to justify unfaithfulness.

People aren’t toys that can simply be disregarded once a person is bored of them and wants a new toy.

18. He thinks he can do better than their current partner.

Another reason why we might find somebody’s partner messing around on dating sites; some guys in relationships think they deserve better.

If two people have a rocky relationship with lots of unresolved issues, chances are they’ve thought to themselves, “I deserve better than this.”, at least once.

Meanwhile, it’s normal to have these thoughts once in a while, it’s not okay to see yourself as superior or your partner as inferior.

Relationships aren’t meant to go smoothly all the time—people are supposed to give their all to make it work, though.

Another explanation as to why some guys act like this is that some are narcissists and believe they’re out of their partners’ league.

Such thoughts push a man to look for other people on dating sites and cheat in many different ways.

19. These men want more “options” and believe that dating sites offer them.

Some people take comfort in knowing that they have a lot of “options” they can choose from.

It doesn’t come as a surprise to us that men like having multiple options, even in relationships.

They can’t fully let go of their single life and the “there are more fish in the sea” mentality.

So, guys talk to multiple women on dating sites without thinking much of it or the consequences.

Quite the players.

20. He doesn’t care about what happens to the relationship next.

As I already mentioned, when a relationship nears its end, one or both of the people stop caring.

If a guy who’s “committed” to a person is found on dating sites, I believe it’s safe to assume that he has no intentions of fixing the relationship.

He doesn’t care about what happens next—as a matter of fact, he wants to get found out.

He doesn’t mind if his partner leaves him; being broken up with will save him time and effort.

Though, what he fails to realize is that this only makes him seem cowardly.

21. He has got nothing better to do—he’s just passing the time!

They got nothing better to do!

Once again, dumbfounded by people’s lack of common sense.

You’d be surprised just how dense some people can be when it comes to context clues.

Men in relationships sometimes visit dating sites because they’re bored and have nothing better to do.

It happens.

They don’t interact or anything—they simply scroll and see what’s going on.

Again, this can’t be excused as easily because of the sites’ nature.

They’re called DATING sites for a reason, after all; we can’t be blamed for suspecting a partner’s intentions!

22. He and his partner(s) have an open relationship.

And they failed to mention that.

An open relationship is a type of relationship in which people are allowed to get romantically and sexually involved with other people.

It’s a non-monogamous relationship. And such relationships are more common than we might think.

They have permission from their partner to use dating sites and other ways to meet new people!

Is using dating apps/sites while in a relationship cheating?

The answer may seem clear from the get-go.


However, it all depends on a person’s boundaries which they’ve previously made clear.

Anything that betrays your partner’s trust while you’re aware it will hurt them yet doing it secretly can be considered cheating.

So, even if a partner does something objectively okay if it crosses our boundaries, then that’s all that matters.

Cheating has many definitions and forms, but at the end of the day, the fundamentals always apply.

Relationships are serious and should be treated as such.

A lot of people don’t give relationships the importance they need and deserve.

They completely forget that there is another person involved aside from themselves—a person whose happiness heavily depends on them.

Some people aren’t “relationship material”, and some are just careless.

Ultimately, relationships shouldn’t be taken lightly; they require effort, sincerity, and readiness.

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