If you suspect that your boyfriend is cheating then you should check for signs and collect more evidence.
Start by breaking your feelings and thoughts into small chunks. Then reflect on how he’s making you feel and how he’s behaving lately.
You don’t have to make accusations when you don’t have enough or no proof at all.
Cheating is a serious matter and if you accuse him wrongly that will permanently make him lose trust in you.
To avoid this awkward situation, here are 7 things you should do when you suspect your boyfriend is cheating:
1. Ask yourself why you think that your boyfriend is cheating on you.
One important step that you should take when you suspect your boyfriend is cheating, you need to ask yourself why you’re thinking that.
Sometimes, it’s the circumstances that make you feel disconnected from your partner.
- It might seem that he’s not giving you enough attention or that he’s investing time or focusing on something else.
- On the other hand, if you’ve been communicating less with one another then the suspicion might rise.
- Also, if you constantly deal with low self-esteem, you might need constant validation from him.
Thus, avoid jumping the gun. I advise you to reflect on your relationship first and on what’s not working.
2. Gather more strong evidence.
The second step that I took in the same situation was reflecting on how he was acting toward me.
Sometimes, your boyfriend might lose interest in you but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s cheating on you.
- To make the difference between if he’s losing interest or is in fact cheating, you should check if he’s being secretive.
- When he loses interest but is not cheating or seeking another relationship, he won’t try to hide his phone or be secretive.
- Check for extra signs to define if he’s cheating on you.
- You can check his photo gallery and the recently deleted one.
- Also, you can check if he’s talking to someone else on WhatsApp or other apps.
Although I don’t recommend peeking in his phone without his permission because you’ll invade his privacy, this can get rid of your doubts very quick!
3. Check if he’s still active on dating apps.
The next step that you should take when you suspect your boyfriend is cheating is to check if he’s still active on dating apps.
If he’s using Tinder, Bumble, or MeetMe and is active then you can use it as evidence to confront him.
It doesn’t matter if you aren’t a user of any dating apps, you can search for their profile even without an account.
- So if you suspect that your boyfriend is cheating, you should go to SwindlerBuster.com.
- Then add his name and surname.
- You can enter his age.
- Select his gender.
- And enter his address so you can get more specific details.
- Lastly, you need to click on the button Search Tinder.
On the other hand, you can also write just his phone number and then click Search Tinder Profiles.
4. Ask him some questions: Test if your boyfriend is cheating.
The fourth thing that you should do when you suspect your boyfriend is cheating is to test him.
I’m not implying that you should act all crazy and create traps for him.
- All I am asking you to do is to make a list of some questions that might give you an idea if he’s cheating or not.
- Try to find an appropriate moment when you can ask these questions and when you can connect emotionally with him.
- Play the Truth or Dare game and make questions that would slightly include infidelity.
Example: “If you were on an island with a pretty chick and 10 billion dollars and you’re in a relationship with someone else. Would you choose the money or get lost on the island with this chick?”
You need to keep the questions super light so you can trigger him but not let him know that you’re suspecting him cheating.
5. Learn more about things cheaters say when confronted.
When you suspect that your boyfriend is cheating, you need to learn more about how a cheater behaves.
If you’re more well-prepared and you teach yourself more about his body language and how he behaves after he cheats, you’ll know how to react.
The famous dating coach Mathew Hussey suggests you pay attention to what they do and if they constantly flirt with everyone.
- A cheater can be so good at hiding their actions and this sometimes makes it harder to formulate what you’re going to say when confronting them.
- He will eventually gaslight you or say the contrary and in this case, you should remain calm and collect yourself.
- Try more subtle language and make him comfortable so he can share with you whether he has cheated or not.
6. Make the difference between being paranoid in a relationship and suspecting cheating.
Many times, you including me can make mistakes when it comes to finding out if he has cheated or not.
If you suspect that your boyfriend is cheating, I advise you to make the difference between being paranoid and confirming that he is cheating.
You will suspect that he’s cheating only if you’re confident enough and he’s showing strong signs that he’s cheating.
According to this research by Research Gate, many people are paranoid in a relationship and think that their partner is cheating because of past trauma.
- If a certain moment or behavior triggers your trauma then you’ll immediately think that he’s cheating.
- On the other hand, if you’re confident and loving but he’s staying up late or making hidden phone calls and posting thirst traps, he might be cheating.
7. Focus on healing yourself.
The last – but certainly not least – thing that you should do is focus on yourself.
Indeed, it’s a tough situation and pretty confusing too but you need to focus on yourself too.
If you’re trying to gather evidence and clear things out, you should also not lose yourself in the process.
Try to talk to a therapist or a personal coach and they will help you a lot to focus on your sanity and find out the truth.
I suspect my boyfriend is cheating on me. I don’t have proof but should I talk to the “other” girl?
If you suspect that your boyfriend is cheating on you but don’t have any proof, don’t drag another person into this situation.
If you talk to another girl or woman that you suspect that he’s cheating on you without any evidence, you’ll just make a mess out of it.
~ Keep your eyes on them but don’t make it obvious.
I’m not implying that you should remove yourself from the situation. On the contrary, you need to keep your eyes on the situation so you can notice any sign of cheating.
~ Track their interaction.
If your boyfriend is close to this woman, try to check when they hang out.
If he constantly spends time with her during late hours then you should be more vigilant.
~Try to talk more with him about your relationship.
If he’s cheating then he’s the issue and not the other woman. Thus, you should try to speak more with him than her.
So, try to communicate more with him. Tell him how you feel and how his relationship with this particular woman is making you feel.
You should be aware that he might deny the connection to this girl or that “type” of friendship, yet you should talk to him.
Listen to what he has to say too but let him know how this situation is making you feel and if there is a way that you can make this work out.
If your intuition repeatedly tells you that your boyfriend is cheating, should you confront him?
To confront a cheating boyfriend, you need to collect more evidence than just following your gut.
Following your gut isn’t something wrong but still you don’t have enough proof to confront your boyfriend.
The moment that you suspect that he’s cheating but have no proof, he won’t take you seriously.
Also, if he’s already cheating, he knows that he has the power because you can’t prove your point.
– Don’t confront him until you have some collected arguments to confront him.
Try to act normal and have the same relationship with him until you prove your point.
Try to reflect on how he’s acting toward you. Check whether he’s suddenly being way too loving or whether he’s built a wall between you two.
– Based on your boyfriend’s personality, gather subtle or strong evidence.
If your boyfriend is a narcissist then you need strong evidence to convince and even part ways with him.
Knowing that a narcissistic boyfriend can be quite manipulative, having subtle evidence will enable him to gaslight you.
He might take this evidence and turn it against you (he will play the role of the victim).
In general, follow your gut but at the same time make sure that you have enough evidence to prove his wrongdoings.
Here’s a cap of what you can do if you suspect that your boyfriend is cheating!
When you suspect that your boyfriend is cheating, you should be careful how you address this issue.
The first thing you should do is avoid a hostile approach toward your boyfriend.
Try to analyze this situation from different points of view.
I wouldn’t recommend you to accuse him just because you feel it in your core.
Reflect on your actions and your emotions too. Learn what is making you feel disconnected or betrayed by your boyfriend.
In the end, never try to romanticize your boyfriend while trying to understand his actions.
All the best!