With all the cheating that’s going around, you’re not the first (or last) person to be paranoid in a relationship.
If you’re having a gut feeling that a partner’s cheating, it’s essential to know that that feeling comes from somewhere—the past or present.
It’s valid, and something should be done about it!
Let’s discuss and take a look at relationship paranoia, contributing factors, and signs supporting it!
– What is relationship paranoia?
Paranoia is an “irrational” distrust of others even though there is little to no evidence that confirms someone is out to get us.
When it comes to relationships, paranoia can get really intense and even in the way of a couple.
A person who feels this way thinks that their partner is cheating, lying, and/or planning on leaving them, but again, many people who truly love their partners have such fears!
You might feel the need to constantly check up on your partner, for example, or feel really uncomfortable knowing they’re out with friends.
Thoughts like this are unhealthy and inconvenient—they interfere with our daily lives and current/future relationships!
– Why does it happen? Why do I keep thinking that he’s cheating?
We may experience relationship paranoia because of:
- Past relationships (being cheated on by a previous partner);
- High-stress levels, which make us more prone to paranoid thoughts;
- Current, justified reasons (current partner violating our trust by lying, overstepping boundaries, etc).
Having to do with past trauma, I believe that it’s common for people to bring past experiences into new relationships—unhealthy, but common.
On the other hand, if your boyfriend or husband is acting in a way that gives you these paranoid thoughts, then it’s only natural for you to feel this way!
Also, it’s not quite considered paranoia if you think your significant other is cheating because he’s, say, flirting with other women—this is mindful observation, if anything.
– When paranoia stops being paranoia—these signs may just confirm your partner is being unfaithful!
Let’s have a look at the signs that could be giving you the feeling that he’s cheating!
1. He gets very angry and for no reason!
Cheaters usually get angry due to their overwhelmed state—it’s either their guilt or feelings speaking.
Because they stop making an effort for their relationship, they don’t feel the need to filter anything.
When it comes to a cheater’s guilt, a cheater might overreact for no reason at all; every small question is met with your partner’s harsh reaction!
Your partner might even bring up issues in your relationship in a way to convince himself it’s not his fault, and sorry to burst his bubble, but it is!
2. He doesn’t open up to you anymore.
Anything having to do with emotional distance is a potential sign of cheating— people ruin the connection with the partner they’re cheating on.
If your boyfriend or husband has stopped opening up to you about important and daily updates, then I understand the paranoia!
It’s as if communication has disappeared from your relationship, which as we know, is not a good thing!
If no other reason is present, then he may be giving this kind of special attention to his affair partner.
3. He’s also not interested in how and what you’re doing.
It goes the other way around too: if your partner doesn’t bother asking you how you’re doing, then infidelity may be the cause.
If your man is cheating (for whatever reason), he might stop being interested in your life.
He no longer asks you where you are, what you’re doing, how you’re doing, and who’s with you—all questions that he’s asked before!
It hurts to know, but most cheaters stop caring about their s.o. (it might be what’s urging them to cheat), bringing us to the fact that some don’t even try to hide it.
4. He snaps whenever you do anything related to his phone.
We all know and hate this one!
We have no other choice but to feel paranoid once a partner is very secretive with their phone—if your partner is acting this way, keep an eye out!
He’s refusing to give you his phone and when you call him out on his behavior, he gets defensive because he knows you’re catching on.
For most cheaters, social media is the door to infidelity as it makes secret affairs way easier to maintain, so this urges them to be extra careful with their electronics.
Wanna get rid of your doubts? Check if he’s on dating sites with one search!
5. You two aren’t together at all lately.
Something’s off about a partner not wanting to spend any time with you—this is just not how a typical relationship goes!
Cheaters stop wanting to constantly be in the cheatee’s presence, especially if they’re getting closer to their affair partner.
You have noticed lately that you miss your partner: you rarely hang out or even talk together.
He keeps canceling plans and doing the most to spend time away from you.
6. A significant other not wanting to have any sort of physical contact is also a sign.
Cheaters may or may not physically pull away from their partner:
- No sexual interactions;
- No hugging, kissing, or cuddling;
- Avoiding close contact;
- And definitely no public display of affection.
If he always used to be the kind of person whose love language is physical touch but suddenly stopped, then that’s a strong sign of unfaithfulness.
He can’t bring himself to act all touchy-feely after cheating—if it’s not that, then he’s lost interest.
7. Your partner has completely stopped reaching out to you.
He doesn’t call you, text, or initiate dates, in other words, he’s stopped reaching out to you.
One of the first things cheaters do is eventually cut contact—his unwillingness to initiate things is probably what’s making you paranoid.
He’s your partner, so it should be given for him to spend as much time with you as possible; a change in this aspect is never a good thing.
Think about how long this has been going on and if there’s any good reason for him to be avoiding you.
8. During this whole “pulling-away-from-you period”, he’s still allowing others to get close to him.
Despite him voluntarily distancing himself from you, he’s not doing the same with other people!
He still goes out with “friends” and talks to them (sometimes even canceling your plans for them).
You might even have noticed him getting closer to a particular person whom you have doubts about—they seem to be texting each other all the time!
On the outside, it looks like you’re the only one he’s pushing away, which could mean he’s pulling another person closer.
Relationships are two people making a special effort for each other; when this concept is compromised, cheating may be involved.
9. He’s flirty, but not with you.
Flirting with a person who isn’t your partner is micro-cheating, no questions asked.
Your partner is always making flirty remarks and getting way too close to other women—he’s presenting himself as a single man, even though he’s not!
He’s so cheerful with the people around him but not with you; he’s acting as if you’re dragging his mood down.
If a person who’s already in a relationship feels okay with behaving inappropriately with other people, there are a few possibilities:
He’s already cheating, or he’s thinking of it.
10. He avoids answering any questions that put him in a bad light.
Your questions? They’re always unanswered.
Not only that, but your s.o. also gets extremely defensive for what are, seemingly, innocent questions!
You might’ve asked something as simple as, “Who were you out with?” and he flipped out.
He’s telling you where he goes and with whom doesn’t concern you—he might even get aggressive or bring up stuff that happened in the past.
He is trying to take your mind off of the situation; guilt-tripping might be the case too.
11. You have already caught him lying to you numerous times, so you’ve established he’s a liar.
Because what are the chances a person who keeps lying is also a cheater? Pretty high.
You’ve caught him lying multiple times to you, probably about where he is and whom he meets—for instance, he told you he doesn’t talk to his ex, but you confirmed that he does!
That and every other lie having to do with other women is a giveaway that he’s cheating but trying to hide it.
If he’s cheating, he will twist the truth in a way that makes you unsuspecting of him.
12. He thinks your every interaction with other men is cheating!
Cheaters have a tendency to project what they’re doing onto their partner: they’re aware of how a cheater acts, considering they are one, so they pick up on every little, insignificant sign.
They’re going to be anxious about their partner doing the same thing to them, which is quite hypocritical!
If your man is cheating on you, he might behave similarly: he accuses you of cheating, keeps tabs on you, and has obvious trust issues.
Some people even cheat because they believe their partner cheated first—a very toxic train of thought.
13. He keeps tabs on you—but not for the reason you think!
Your partner always asks you about your schedule, way more than usual—he recently started feeling the need to be updated on your every move.
You might think this is cute and all, but the reason cheaters do this is to know what places to avoid and at what times.
If your cheating significant other wants to go out with his affair partner, he’ll need to know where you’ll be the whole time, or else they might run into you.
Be watchful for any similar signs! Cheaters can’t hide such changes.
14. Your boyfriend/spouse keeps going out more often lately and not telling you anything.
Your partner has suddenly turned into the extrovert type: he goes out almost every night but is very vague about it.
He doesn’t tell you any of the juicy details and he doesn’t pick up the phone all night!
This isn’t typical behavior from a loyal person—I can’t think of enough reasons why a person who’s in a relationship with another person would be okay with making their partner worry this way.
This is how cheaters act when they go out for the sole purpose of cheating.
15. When going out, he makes sure he looks super good too!
It’s nothing too surprising for a person to want to look good, however, there is something fishy about a partner doing the most for others, but not you.
Lately your significant other has been taking care of his appearance: he dresses nicely, styles his hair, and smells amazing!
It is a bit suspicious if your partner has never gone out of his way to do something like this for you, but for other people.
If he’s cheating (or waiting for the chance) he would want to look good!
16. He’s always on his phone, texting somebody.
When it comes to emotional cheating and other deeper forms of affairs, this one is a guaranteed sign!
Whenever you pan over to him, he’s always on his phone, talking to somebody and smiling—when you ask him who it is, he panics.
Even late at night or when he’s supposedly busy, he somehow always finds the time to text this secret person.
He might be text-cheating, and his spending an insane amount of time on his phone isn’t helping this case!
17. He’s just overall very secretive.
With cheaters, we notice their pattern: secrecy. They’re so secretive with everything:
- They won’t let you use their phones;
- They don’t tell you where they’re going;
- You know almost nothing about their day;
- Nor do you know anything about who they spend their days with;
- They don’t tell you important details.
Unfaithful people are very careful in this aspect—it’s the only way to keep the affairs going.
If you know for a fact that your partner is holding information from you, think about what kind of information it is (information that makes him look like a cheater)—infidelity could be happening.
Is worrying about cheating pointless?
All things considered, yes!
I mean, in the sense that you can’t control another person because they’re free to do what they want.
If your significant other is having an affair, then worrying won’t make him stop—it will only bring you negativity.
You have the option to find out if your partner is being unfaithful; if you’re right and he’s cheating, then think of what you’re going to do next.
Will you say goodbye, or put up with his behavior?
It’s your call!