If you’ve ever had a gut feeling, you know just how persistent it can get.
We’ve all doubted our partners’ loyalty at least once in a relationship—whether those doubts are reasonable or not, they’re normal.
There comes a point when that nagging gut feeling can no longer be ignored, and it makes us wonder if a partner is truly cheating.
Is that gut feeling necessarily correct, though? What does it mean, and when should it be trusted? Let’s take a dive and elaborate further!
Can your gut feeling be wrong about cheating?
Before we proceed any further, it’s important to know that yes, gut feelings about cheating can be wrong.
According to Healthline, gut feelings do, in fact, mean something, and trusting them can lead to great outcomes.
Despite that, intuition cannot replace objective evidence.
Gut feelings are linked to a person’s standard brain processing and past experiences, meaning that they both play a significant role in gut feelings’ appearances.
Gut feelings are real, and they’re very much indicative—however, they don’t 100% guarantee that something is true or not.
No matter how high the chances of your intuition being right are, deciding something based on it alone isn’t the way to go.
Why do I have a feeling he’s cheating?
If you’re almost certain that your partner is cheating, then there’s a good chance he actually is.
Or at the very least, behaving in a way that makes you think so.
As I mentioned, gut feelings are typically inspired by past experiences, and/or current brain processing.
If you constantly feel like your partner is being unfaithful, it’s most likely because he’s behaving suspiciously.
He’s probably somehow changed, giving you these ideas.
Maybe he’s doing things that he typically doesn’t do—all of this and more are influencing your gut feeling.
Another possibility is that your past could be playing a big part here; bad experiences are impacting current events.
This is sometimes the case with people who’ve experienced heartbreak due to infidelity—unconsciously, we’re going to find some sort of correlation.
Trusting your gut feeling — How can you tell if someone is secretly cheating?
We already know that a gut feeling alone isn’t enough to assess whether a partner is cheating or not!
There are other, more efficient ways to get a better understanding of the situation—and that is by observing his behavior.
Whether you’ve seen a dating app on his phone, or noticed he’s behaving suspiciously, it’s time to take a look at the signs!
But, yes! There are signs to help you figure out if your s.o. is cheating—I’m talking about a certain behavior that leads us to believe so.
Let me show you what I mean with these 22 unmistakable signs a partner is secretly cheating:
1. He’s never paid much attention to his appearance—but now he does.
Most cheaters start paying extra attention to their appearance; they’re actively trying to improve their looks.
If your partner has recently started taking care of himself (when in reality he never would), that’s a possible sign he’s cheating.
You’re positive he’s not doing it for you, and the only explanation is that he’s trying to look good for other people.
He now wears cologne, fixes his hair, and dresses elegantly—yet, acts indifferent towards you.
2. His overall behavior has changed.
Cheaters act a specific way; your partner isn’t as affectionate and loving as he used to be.
It seems as if he’s created a distance between you two—a wall he’s recently built to keep you away.
He used to compliment you all the time and be lovey-dovey; now he’s cold, dry, and distant.
He pays little to no attention to you, and the whole situation is making you feel iffy.
3. He has no free time lately.
He’s always on the go, making all types of excuses as to why he can’t spend time with you.
He’s been flaking more and more lately, or simply trying his hardest to not make any plans.
If you two live together, you might’ve noticed that he’s not home as often.
And whenever you two make plans, you know that he’s probably going to cancel—like he always does.
4. He doesn’t let you peek at his phone, let alone touch it.
Nowadays, what people use the most to cheat is their phones—they are discreet, convenient, and get the job done.
Cheaters who use their phones to cheat will always hide them from their partner’s sight.
They won’t even let them look at their phones for one split-second and touching them is out of the question.
If your partner, too, is being a bit too secretive with his phone, it’s time to question why.
5. Your partner reacts negatively whenever you ask him questions.
A partner getting defensive over the simplest questions is a red flag.
Have you ever asked him about a suspicious text he received? Or someone he knows?
And if so, did he react negatively? Such as getting defensive, panicking, or trying to change the topic?
Negative reactions are usually cheaters’ staples; they’re afraid of getting caught cheating, and their anxiety will manifest itself through actions.
6. There have also been changes in intimacy.
For better or worse.
When people in relationships cheat, be it sexting or physical cheating, it usually reflects in their sex life.
Depending, the intimate life is likely to become as dry as a desert, pushing you two to have intercourse less and less.
That, or it will greatly “improve” and become more frequent, with your partner having learned new moves and ideas.
Keep an eye out for similar changes.
7. A partner spoiling you out of the blue is also suspicious.
Sometimes, cheaters’ guilt and shame make them want to have random outbursts of kindness.
They feel bad on some level about what they’re doing to their partners, so they try to make up for it.
If your partner tends to randomly spoil you out of nowhere, say, whenever he comes back from an outing, there’s a possibility he feels guilty.
And his guilty conscience is pushing him to treat you kindly.
8. He always seems to be starting fights.
When a person cheats, they will find any reason to start fights with their partner.
Every little thing their partner does will irritate them, and the never-ending arguments end up going nowhere.
At times, the cheater will even start arguments for no apparent reason, just so that he can get out of the house and go cheat.
If your significant other seems to get angry over the smallest reason, it’s possible that his cheating nature is pushing him to do so.
9. Cheaters sometimes accuse their partners of cheating.
It’s called “projecting”—when a person takes their own unwanted traits and attributes them to another person.
In this case, if your partner is constantly accusing YOU of cheating, it could be because he’s the one actually cheating.
He’s projecting his wrongdoing onto you, thinking, “Since I’m doing it, so is my partner!”.
This kind of thinking makes him feel better about what he’s doing; his trust issues could also be a factor here.
10. He leaves the room to take his calls.
Now, this is definitely suspicious.
If your partner often leaves the room whenever he gets a call, it could be because his affair partner is calling him.
He knows answering in front of you is risky, so instead, he gets up and leaves.
He always gives excuses, as well, “It was probably a wrong number!” or “It’s just a friend. Nothing important.”
The same goes for when he’s texting other people.
11. Your partner always has different excuses.
Excuses are cheaters’ thing—they have an excuse for everything.
Your partner seems to have one about everything he does and every way he acts.
Did he get a flirty text message? He’s able to “explain” it.
Did he get home late at night? Again, he has a believable excuse.
He overly explains every suspicious answer he gives and tries his hardest to sound believable.
12. You two have started going out in public less and less.
If you and your man have stopped going out in public as often, that’s a sign.
Once people have found affair partners (or other ways of cheating) they stop wanting to go out with their s.o.
They don’t want their AP(s) to see them and their partner together, and vice versa.
It’s also possible that your partner doesn’t want other people to see him with multiple women, in which case, you could find out.
13. He gives you the silent treatment whenever you question him.
This is another (subtle) sign that often flies over our heads!
If you’ve ever asked him any questions regarding his suspicious behavior, and he gave you the cold treatment afterward, that’s his way of “punishing” you.
He knows you hit the bullseye, and to stop you from doubting his loyalty, he acts “hurt” and angry that you would accuse him.
This manipulation tactic is done to distract you and make you feel bad for bringing things up.
14. Your partner uses his phone late at night—and he usually never does.
Since most people cheat through their phones, they do so during late-night hours.
A time when their partner is sleeping and won’t suspect a thing.
In this case, he’s staying up to talk to somebody else without your knowledge.
This is especially suspicious if he just developed this habit of using his phone late at night, even if he has to be up early in the morning.
15. Communication between you two has taken a toll.
The communication factor has changed in your relationship.
It’s gotten more noticeable with how rarely you two communicate with each other—casually or not.
You argue often, and even then, the arguments end up going nowhere and not getting solved.
It seems as if your man would rather not communicate anything any longer, and giving up on communication is usually a sign of secret cheating.
16. He’s removed all online clues that state he’s taken.
His bio doesn’t state anywhere that he’s in a relationship or married.
He has no pictures of you two together on his social media accounts, nor does he mention you anywhere.
Liking and commenting on your pictures is not something he does—all of these are signs that he’s trying to keep you a secret.
He doesn’t want to let other people know he’s in a relationship, or else, he’ll lose his chance.
17. Suddenly, he’s so busy with work.
Which is, of course, only an excuse.
Most cheaters use their jobs to get away with lying—all the late-night meetings, business trips, and gatherings are excuses.
In this situation, your significant other is using his work as an excuse to go cheat.
You feel it in your gut that he’s lying about working all the time.
18. You often catch him lying.
Lies, lies, lies!
You’ve lost count of how many times he’s lied to you—he contradicts himself often whenever he’s explaining something.
Liars lose track of their lies and slip up.
For example, he said he was hanging out with a specific male friend, but when you ask him again, he gives a different name.
Things like these that hint they’re most likely lying.
19. Mutual people in your lives act odd around you.
Your mutual friends act weird around you whenever you hang out together—and that’s because they know what’s up.
They are obviously awkward and uncomfortable, almost as if they’re pitying you.
This also applies to whenever you’re meeting his friends for the first time too—they know he’s wronging you by being unfaithful.
20. He gets your name mixed up with other people’s.
Though people can mix names up, when a partner does it too often, that’s when it becomes suspicious.
If he often calls you another woman’s name whenever you two talk or text, watch out for how often it happens.
Does he stop himself mid-sentence? And, is it only the names of women he’s never introduced you to?
Pay extra attention to this habit of his, as it could help you find his affair partner—if any.
Check if this person is on his friend list.
21. He protests against you posting him or interacting with him in any way online.
When it comes to bad signs, a partner not letting you post him (and the other way around) is one of the most suggestive ones.
Cheaters don’t typically allow their partners to post them, or even mention them online—they don’t want other people to know.
No matter what, even if it’s an important occasion, he always comes up with excuses as to why he doesn’t want you to post him.
22. You just have an intense gut feeling that he’s being unfaithful.
And going back to the very beginning: if you have a gut feeling he’s cheating, that feeling says something.
Our bodies have a mind of themselves, of sorts—they’re able to pick up on the odd things our brains don’t.
Trust that gut feeling if you’re sure that your partner is cheating and acting a certain way.
Not being able to shake the feeling he’s cheating is a sign in itself.
Yes—as I said, there comes a point when gut feelings can’t (and shouldn’t) be ignored.
We feel that way because our bodies have noticed something we haven’t; it’s trying to warn us.
And though we can’t make a decision based on intuition alone, when we pair it up with a partner’s behavior, the answer is clear.
That gut feeling is no longer baseless.