Tricking a partner into confessing their wrongdoings is one way!
It may sound a bit manipulative—and don’t get me wrong, it is—but the only way a cheater would admit to being a cheater is by being tricked.
So, in perspective, having to rely on such methods isn’t surprising: there are different types of questions you can ask to make a cheater reveal the truth.
If you’re interested in knowing what you can ask your significant other to make them fess up, I have some examples!
We want our tricky question to achieve 2 goals: to elicit a reaction and/or confession.
In a perfect scenario, our question would need to draw out some interesting responses, and ideally, a confession.
This is where the “tricky” part lies: as I said, normally cheaters wouldn’t rat themselves out.
You want to ask a question that implies, but doesn’t flat-out label them a cheater—for instance, asking your partner their opinion on cheating should suffice in keeping them on the edge.
Basically, putting them in a scenario that makes them think they got caught or are about to be.
Since very rarely does it happen for a cheater to admit they cheated, we have to make do with their reactions!
Normally, when cheaters get asked tricky questions, behave in this way:
- Desperately trying to change the topic;
- Show signs of aggressiveness;
- Body language that tells you they’re uncomfortable (avoiding eye contact, facing away from you, crossing their arms, touching their face/neck, fidgeting, looking down, facial expressions, etc.);
- Be very curious as to why you would ask them this question;
- Refrain from using “I” sentences—your partner doesn’t want you to associate them with the topic of cheating;
- Changing their story;
- Repeat your question (they need time to cook up their lies);
- Be very quiet/not say a lot;
- On the contrary, they will overexplain;
- They’re going to start chastising other people (this is a method cheaters use to make you believe they’re not into the person they’re actually cheating with), etc.
Remember these very pivotal clues—if your suspicions are unfortunately right and your s.o. is cheating, they’ll most likely behave this same exact way!
Now here are the 25 trick and stealthy questions to ask a cheater to make them confess:
1. “Did you hear that [your friend] got cheated on? Apparently for 3 months now. How disappointing, I thought her partner was a decent person.”
Typically, if they’re calm and invested, they’re most likely innocent.
Cheaters, like many other guilty people, do their best to avoid situations that hit too close to home.
Somewhere in their brain, they’re afraid they’ll accidentally say something they shouldn’t have!
2. “I saw an earring in your car. Is it your mom’s?”
Plot twist: you actually put the earring in your partner’s car!
But they don’t know that: they think that their side piece accidentally forgot something of theirs.
This will send your partner into panic mode and admit that it belongs to a family member.
3. When an unknown person texts/calls your partner (too often), ask something like, “I think you got a call/text from your [friend/cousin], I didn’t get to see too well. Who was it?”
But you know very well it wasn’t a relative or friend!
The next time your partner gets a call or message from someone you assume they’re cheating with, you can:
- Pretend you innocently picked up the phone and say something like, “Hey, you got a call from [suspicious person] and I thought I’d pick it up. I think you have some explaining to do.”
If they’re cheating, they will be unusually hostile and start grilling you with questions (they want to know if you know).
- You can tell your partner they got a call earlier from an unknown person and ask who it was.
If they think their other partner called, they’ll lie about who it was or about getting a call at all.
4. “You said you were working late. You weren’t, were you?”
Say this with a serious facial expression—if your s.o. is cheating, they will read between the lines and think you know their little secret.
So you asking this question could possibly make your partner give up; they think they’ve been busted so will naturally confess.
At the very least, this question will evoke some interesting reactions which you can use as guides.
5. “Hey babe, can I ask you something? Have you ever lied to me?”
While you two are on the topic, casually ask your partner if they’ve ever deceived you in any way.
You can also ask them if they have a problem with lying; cheaters oftentimes do.
6. “I have an interesting question! What do you think of cheaters? My friend is thinking of forgiving her cheating partner and I want you to talk some sense into her!”
Honestly, you can’t go wrong with simply asking your partner’s opinion about something you’re sure they’re guilty of—their reaction will be pure gold!
Depending, your partner will either reprimand your friend’s imaginary cheating partner or have nothing to say at all.
7. “Who’s the person whose picture you liked/commented on?”
This is a more straightforward question, it’s tricky only if you don’t accuse your partner and lose your cool!
Whenever I would ask my ex why he was flirting with another person, he had a tendency to insult that person and make it seem like he would never get with them—turned out he was cheating.
Beware of similar habits!
8. “A friend was talking to me about how they and their partner are thinking of opening their relationship. What are your thoughts on polygamy?”
Knowing what your significant other thinks of polygamy is going to be useful—if they seem to really like it, that’s a sign.
9. “Which friend of mine/yours would you use your *hypothetical* hall pass on?”
Do they say the name of the friend you’re suspicious of? Regardless, if your partner answers this question, you’ll know which friend he wouldn’t mind getting with—or has already.
10. “Oh, you look good! Who’s the lucky guy/girl? Haha, just joking!”
Typically, an innocent person would laugh it off and tease you right back!
An authentic cheater would be taken aback and view that question as an interrogation.
11. “I saw a receipt in our trash. It was from a woman’s store, I believe? What were you doing there?”
If you find this kind of clue that shows your husband (for example) went into a place he’s not interested in, do question him about it.
Even if he didn’t, you can still ask him this in an attempt to make him fess up!
12. “Babe, let’s go to [the place they were seen together]! I heard that place is all the rage nowadays. What do you think?”
Once again, the element of surprise! Your significant other might try to say something like, “I was there once, it’s nothing special. Trust me, you DON’T want to go, babe!”.
That is if they don’t outright reject your invitation.
13. “Is there anything you’d change about me/our relationship?”
With this question, you’d be taking a more honest approach.
When people are dissatisfied with something, they’re usually more prone to straying away.
14. “So, you were muttering this person’s name in your sleep last night. Do I know them, or?”
The thing about questions like these is that your partner can’t deny stuff ever happened—they were asleep, so how would they know?
If you took the route of lying about them muttering a certain person’s name in their sleep, observe their reaction.
15. “What do you think about us exchanging our passwords?”
“Or better yet, let’s make a joint couple’s account! It will be fun.”
Cheaters will stay as far away as possible from any lovey-dovey activities that show the world they’re in a relationship.
They want the liberty to cheat—if they are already cheating, they’d feel rather silly going through with your plan.
16. “It’s been so long since we’ve done anything together. Is everything okay? I’m worried about you.”
Show genuine concern—your partner could honestly be going through some tough times, hence why their behavior has changed.
If they’re merely being unfaithful, possible responses could include hostility, overreacting, and/or dismissive conduct.
17. If your partner went out one night and you have your suspicions, make them repeat their story, “Where did you say you and your friends went last night?”
Remember your partner’s story and ask them to repeat it.
When cheaters lie, they usually have a hard time remembering details.
When you ask them questions, they might get particular parts of their story wrong (the time, place, people they were with, etc.)!
18. Occasionally mix up certain details, “So what did you and [a different friend] do exactly?”
Purposely tell your partner their story back—throw in a couple of lies and see if they correct you.
If they don’t, that typically suggests they were lying.
19. “I like your new [the item you presume was a gift from their affair partner]. Did I get this for you? I don’t remember.”
Ask your significant other questions regarding unfamiliar items that look like gifts—as always, closely watch their comeback.
They’ll likely lie about how they got it, or might even have the audacity to manipulate you!
“You bought this for me! Don’t you remember?”
“I’ve always had this, you’re only now just noticing.”
20. “Don’t you think cheating is unforgivable? I sure as heck do.”
If your significant other is disloyal, this will send a chill down their spine.
They will immediately start thinking you know their secret and will either break down into tears, or panic.
21. “Well, don’t you look dashing! Have fun on your date!”
Another “joke” that will have your partner contemplating if you know or not.
If they insist on knowing why you would say that, then you already know what that means!
22. When you’re talking about past relationships, ask if they’ve ever cheated: “By the way, have you ever cheated or been cheated on by somebody?”
Ask your partner if they have ever cheated or been cheated on by somebody!
If they tell you the truth (and the truth is that they have cheated in the past), hopefully, they’ve changed their ways.
If not—the most probable scenario—then there’s a chance your partner remains a cheater.
23. “Mind if I check something on your phone real quick? Mine’s dead.”
Anything that puts a cheater in a position that urges them to do something that when not done, makes them look fishy, is smart!
If they give you it, you can easily prove they’re being unfaithful—in one fell swoop!
24. “A bit of a weird question, but I saw a post on [social media] about how some people don’t think that cheating is considered cheating unless it’s sex, and many people in the comments were agreeing. Do you agree too?”
Simple and unsuspecting—ask your partner this to know their opinions.
You might be wondering how this will benefit us in any way—well…
If your partner thinks it’s acceptable to, say, sext with another person, that means if the opportunity ever presents itself, they might grasp it.
But not just sexting: flirting, exchanging nudes, kissing, and other forms of physicality.
Most people act based on their principles, after all.
25. You can also try making it seem as if you already found out they’ve been cheating—just keep in mind that this could backfire.
Any question that directly tells your partner you know they’ve been seeing someone else could backfire.
“I know about what you’ve been doing. Are you cheating on me?”, or anything similar.
It’s possible your partner will call your bluff and not confess, and if they’ve been nothing but loyal to you, they’ll be hurt by your assumptions.
If you want to try this out, I recommend doing so only if you’re absolutely certain you are being cheated on.
To ensure your partner’s confession, here are the dos and don’ts!
To make this work, you must play along. Simply asking the question won’t be enough.
Here’s what you should keep in mind!
- Pay attention to their words and body language;
- Be understanding and calm;
- Have proof they are cheating;
- Pick a proper time to ask your question;
- Be aggressive;
- Ask yes/no questions;
- Accuse your partner of cheating;
- Act unreasonably;
- Force your partner to talk about something they don’t want to—take their silence as an answer.
Your attitude towards your partner is just as important as the question, so make the most out of it!
Ideally, we want to pick a healthy way to deal with such situations.
But in an ideal world, there would be no cheating.
I am all for communication, but I am also aware that it’s not always an option: people cheat and then hide it for a long time.
So, on some level, it’s understandable to want to lean on not-so-healthy methods, such as tricky questions for your girlfriend.
Just be sure to study your partner and pick the right ones—good luck!