Dealing with cheating isn’t a sweet process especially when you feel it in your gut but don’t have much proof to expose them.
And when it feels like they’re already slipping away, the best thing you can do is to check their behavior towards you and with whom they’re hanging out.
I tried to take it very personally when I was going through the same situation. I let my intrusive thoughts almost convince me that he was really cheating on me.
Thus, here are 7 reasonable things that you should do when you suspect your spouse of cheating but have no proof:
1. Take a step back and analyze their behavior.
Analyzing their behavior doesn’t mean that you should only check how they’re acting toward you.
You should also check what type of activities they are doing, whether they have changed their behavior or with whom is their entourage.
- I would recommend you spend more time with them but be careful, don’t stalk them or put pressure on them.
- While you put your focus and energy on them positively, you’ll be able to be subjective.
- You won’t reflect on the situation based on what you think isn’t going right in your relationship.
2. Work on your insecurities.
In the beginning, when you read this it might look ridiculous to you but you’ll thank me later.
My brain kept playing games with me when I married a wonderful man. At that moment I was dealing with a lot of things personally.
I haven’t learned to love myself enough and heal from past trauma.
- The famous psychologist Dr. Julie Smith claims that when we overthink, we have that urge that we need to do everything perfectly.
- You want to be a perfect partner because you don’t want them to abandon you. Thus, you do more than you should and you start to doubt them.
Your self-esteem might be low and you might start to doubt things from that place and not assess the situation subjectively.
3. Before stalking them, talk with a professional so you won’t cross any boundaries.
I advise you to talk to an attorney and they will tell you what and what you can’t do while trying to prove your point.
Don’t try to communicate with them without having proof especially if your spouse is a narcissist or a controlling partner.
A major percentage of people end up in a more miserable situation because their spouse would tend to gaslight them.
So, getting legal advice would be the best step to take in this case. You can check for attorneys or legal offices near you and ask for help.
4. Try to ask rhetorical questions here and there.
Another step that I took to dust my doubts away was asking rhetorical questions.
This was advice that one of my friends and colleagues who works as a psychologist taught me.
He said that I should try reverse psychology. Yes, this makes them confused but also doesn’t give them space to doubt your actions.
If you’re watching a movie about a couple who is dealing with relationship problems, you might just say like:
“Well, if he cheated on her, I think that maybe he should tell and face the consequences. What do you think?”
And if they have cheated then you’ll notice that they will take a deep breath and pause until they give you some type of answer.
5. Try to hang out with their friends and family as well.
If you suspect your spouse is cheating but have no proof, try to hang out with their entourage.
Checking how they behave with others will tell you a lot. If one of their friends knows that they are cheating, they won’t tell but might act weird toward you.
Or, if your partner is acting cold but loving with others, it might help you to reflect on and have a conversation with them.
To talk with them, you need to not accuse them or play the victim. In the end, you’re in a committed relationship and communication should be the key.
Choose a proper moment when you can connect emotionally to them.
6. Check on how this relationship is making you feel.
A healthy relationship is all about feeling safe and sound in a relationship.
- And if you’re constantly asking yourself “What am I doing here” or “ I am not feeling content” then it’s time to dig deeper.
- If you suspect that your spouse is cheating but have no proof then not having enough attention from them can be a starting point.
I’m not implying that this will always be a sign of cheating but usually, when they start to invest their focus somewhere else, they will start to be distant.
7. You can hire a private investigator or a detective.
The last thing that you can do when you suspect your spouse is cheating but you have no proof is to hire a detective or a private investigator.
You can do this when you can’t communicate properly with your spouse or when you don’t want to ruin the relationship by invading their privacy.
Thus, check for the best investigator that would help you.
You can choose them depending on your budget and preferences.
If you think that you need hard proof to end the relationship then that’s up to you.
The amount of proof that you need to catch them cheating depends on how both of you view and evaluate your relationship.
If you suspect your spouse is cheating and have no proof, should you trust your gut?
If something feels wrong you should trust your gut. Yet, you should trust your gut after you have reflected on yourself too.
Sometimes past trauma can indicate you trust your gut but your gut might be telling you wrong.
If you were in the same abusive situation or you were lied to and cheated on constantly then you will suspect your spouse immediately.
Maybe the situation might be the same and the circumstances might seem the same but the end result might be different.
– The aim is to get them to admit without having to accuse them or cause a scene.
You should not accuse them of cheating if you don’t have enough proof, even if your gut tells you to do so.
Because if you listen to your gut, maybe you might be right, they are cheating but what if they’re not?
You will end up breaking their trust and the relationship won’t feel the same as before.
You can do your research on them before you address anything. For starters, you can look them up on dating apps. That’s super simple! Here:
– Trust your gut only when you’re in a better place mentally.
You should trust your gut that they’re cheating only if you trust yourself, have high self-confidence and you’re healed from the past.
Only then you are able to reflect on the situation from a healthy place and you’ll notice the signs of whether they’re cheating or not.
And then you’ll also need to gather evidence to support what your gut is telling you.
If you think that they’re being cold and texting late at night, try to check if this is happening regularly and if they’re protective of their phone constantly.
Shortly: What to do if you suspect cheating but have no proof?
If you suspect your spouse is cheating but have no proof, you should gather evidence first so then you can confront them.
Yet, if it feels very difficult to gather evidence and they’re being careful, I would recommend you to get a professional detective.
They won’t get caught and you won’t invade their personal space by checking their phone or tracking their activities.
Focus on what is making you think that they’re cheating on you.
Good luck and never give up!