The last thing you’d want to see in a marriage is your husband sexting another person.
Unfortunately, finding out that your spouse is, in fact, sexting, isn’t an easy task—but there are a couple of ways to go about it!
There are signs that help you better understand whether your partner is behaving inappropriately or not.
They may be subtle or obvious—regardless, knowing a cheater’s behavioral patterns will help you out of their infidelity.
It’s time we put our thinking caps on and look at ways to tell if a spouse is sexting somebody else!
1. A cheating husband will be overly-protective of his phone.
A husband being too protective of their phone is a dead giveaway he’s sexting, not to mention very toxic.
He won’t let you have his phone, no matter what—even if you’re in dire need of using it.
Coming up with excuses and explanations as to why it becomes a routine for cheating spouses, too bad though, they’re blowing their own cover.
Not letting you even touch his phone for whatever reason is not something to be ignored.
2. He behaves oddly whenever you ask him something phone-related.
Whether it be about his new-found habits or a suspicious text you saw.
He panics and becomes defensive whenever you ask him something related to his phone.
Your husband flipping out and attempting to change the topic is typically a bad sign in this case, as it hints at online infidelity.
Aka sexting.
Keep an eye out for his reactions whenever you bring up similar topics; see if he’s acting how a cheater would. You can search for his profiles on dating sites for security:
3. When a spouse sexts with other people, they change their passwords.
And if they’ve never had passwords before, now they do.
A husband suddenly locking his devices (or changing his passwords completely) is something to worry about.
Especially if you’re suspecting him of sexting.
This leads us to believe he’s hiding some things on his devices—a sexting buddy—and attempting to keep them hidden.
This sudden and alarming change can be linked to a person not wanting their spouse to find out they’re online cheating.
4. Wherever he is, his phone is with him.
Perhaps one of the most indicative signs: your husband can’t be seen without his phone.
Whether he’s out, eating, sleeping, taking a bath, and other unconventional activities, it doesn’t matter: his phone is right by his side.
He hides it in places to keep it out of your sight—God forbid you get the idea to go through it, right?
It’s as if his phone is glued to him—it’s always in his possession.
5. Wondering how you can tell if your husband is texting another woman? Look at his notifications!
Are they disabled? Because if so, it could be that he’s trying to hide the fact he’s texting another woman inappropriately.
It’s an old trick, really: cheaters turn off the notifications for the apps they use to cheat.
This way, their partner won’t be alarmed by the amount of texts and the people who send them.
They know that the constant notification sounds to make them look suspicious, hence, they disable them.
6. No one in his socials knows he’s married.
And that’s because he hasn’t mentioned you anywhere.
He doesn’t interact with you, his social media bios don’t state that he’s taken, and in severe cases, he doesn’t even have you on his friend/following list.
If your husband is like this, there’s a high chance that he’s hiding you because he doesn’t want to ruin his chances with other women.
Or he simply doesn’t want to drive people away with the fact he’s married; he knows people don’t usually get involved with married men.
7. A cheating husband usually has accounts you don’t know about.
To not raise suspicions, he might have other, separate social profiles aside from his regular ones.
And that’s where he carries out his cheating activities.
In his regular profiles, he’s all lovey-dovey with you—on the other hand, on his secondary accounts, he behaves inappropriately with other people.
It’s possible he’s hoping to keep these two parts of his life separated; on the off chance you do know about his secret profiles, consider investigating further.
8. He’s suddenly spending all his time on his phone.
If your husband has recently started spending more time on his phone, chances are that something’s pushing him to do so.
And by “something” I mean sexting; a lot of online cheaters spend their free time on their phones.
Though it’s not 100% guaranteed, there’s a high probability that the reason a spouse is always on their phones is because they’re sexting other people.
Their new pastime is making them focus more on their phones, rather than us.
9. He’s always having the time of his life while on his phone.
The annoying and worrying feeling of witnessing your partner giggling on his phone—this is exactly what I’m talking about.
His mood suddenly improves whenever he’s on his phone; when he’s off it, he goes back to being dull and disinterested.
He’s always giggling, smiling, and kicking his feet in the air whenever he’s spending time on his phone, and that’s suspicious.
The most plausible explanation would be that he’s texting another person, and having the time of his life while doing so.
10. You can tell if your husband is sexting by observing his behavior whenever he gets a call/text.
Does he get up and leave the room whenever he receives a text or call? Because if so, that’s suspicious.
If he does this way too often, it shows that there’s something he doesn’t want you to see or hear.
Maybe, he got a call from his affair partner, or a steamy text message—both of these situations require him to leave your presence.
He can’t answer such calls and texts in front of you; there’s a chance you will realize he’s been sexting other people.
11. He gets cryptic messages from cryptic people.
Keep an eye out for cryptic text messages your partner receives; does he get short, odd, or abbreviated messages that clearly have some type of meaning?
For example:
- ASL, which means age/sex/location,
- NSFS, meaning “not safe for spouse”,
- DTF, which means “down to f*ck”,
- FWB, “friends with benefits”, etc!
Look for similar, suspicious jargon your cheating spouse might be using; while you’re at it, see if the people that text him have odd names.
Such as a single emoji, symbol, or number—or names you’ve never heard him mention before.
This will give you a better insight into his sexting habits, if any.
12. Your husband makes sure to never leave his screen facing you.
His phone is always facing away from you.
Whenever he’s replying to a text, he tilts his phone so that you won’t see it; whenever you’re spending time together, his phone is facing down.
Basically, he doesn’t give you any openings to take a peek—this is another red flag.
He doesn’t want you to see his screen because something could pop up that’ll make you suspect him.
Perhaps a call, text, or other types of notifications.
13. Your sex life has changed as well!
A sudden change in intimacy could also be a result of sexting.
If your husband has suddenly stopped being as keen to get you to bed (or the complete opposite), it could be because he’s texting other people.
And that’s affecting his performance—for better or for worse.
His sexting habits are giving him new ideas and motivation to keep his sex life fiery or non-existent.
And looking at this from another angle, it’s possible for a cheating spouse to stop giving us that kind of attention.
They’re too focused on their sexting, and that’s driving them away from us.
14. The distance between you two seems to have increased.
For some cheaters, it’s normal to create an emotional and physical distance from their partners.
If your husband has become more distant lately as well, re-evaluate the situation.
This could possibly be a result of him feeling guilty, or him slowly losing feelings—whichever it is, one thing’s for certain: he’s not the same.
He’s less affectionate and more disinterested, both of which are signs of cheating in a relationship.
15. A cheating husband will introduce new sexual desires.
A sign that at first may not seem all that much, but it’s actually quite indicative: a partner bringing new sexual ideas to the table.
This could easily be the result of other factors aside from sexting, but we can’t rule out the possibility.
If your spouse has just now started talking about his new sexual desires (stuff he’s never been interested in), then think to yourself:
Why is he just now telling me this?
Is there another person he got this idea from?
Chances are that sexting is changing his sexual desires and the people he’s doing it with are giving him new ideas.
Ideas that he wants to try with his spouse, of course.
Nonetheless, sudden changes in your sex life bring suspicions.
16. He deletes his texts.
If your husband has a habit of regularly deleting his text messages, then that’s your clue.
It’s mostly unusual for people to delete their texts—unless they’re hiding something that is.
Whenever you have the chance to go through his phone, check if he regularly deletes his messages, and with whom.
His doing this is usually a bad sign—why does he feel the need to delete what he talks about?
17. His phone often autocorrects your name.
If his phone often autocorrects your name with another woman’s, that’s because he uses that name often.
Keyboards’ autocorrect features work in a way that they learn from their users’ texting habits—meaning that if your partner uses another woman’s name often, the keyboard will automatically correct him.
It could be merely a coincidence, but if done too many times, it shouldn’t be ignored.
If your husband calls you another person’s name, it’s time to consider the possibility he’s sexting that specific person.
18. A cheating partner takes longer to text back.
A partner who’s sexting other people typically takes longer to respond to your texts—more often than not.
This is usually the case if your husband just recently started ignoring your texts or taking forever to text back.
This is his guilt coming to play—that, or he’s paying more attention to his sexting activities.
When a spouse is online cheating, it could (and will) reflect on their online behavior.
And his not replying in a timely manner is an obvious sign.
19. He’s receiving texts during late night hours.
Sexting is known to happen in the late night hours. It’s often the time when our carnal desires wake up and kick in.
And, in marriages, the late night hours are the times when our partners are tucked in and sleeping soundly – minimizing the chances of getting caught.
If you continuously notice texts or notifications during late-night hours on his phone, then that’s another sign to take note of.
People from work don’t typically text at inappropriate times, and friends often reach out when they’re in urgent situations which don’t occur on a regular basis.
Why is my husband sexting? Hunting down the reasons why people in relationships sext others.
People can be pretty unpredictable—they’re willing to risk their marriage for an online fling.
Why though?
What pushes people in relationships to sext other people? What are the reasons that explain their behavior?
If you’re curious about the reasons why your partner is—potentially—sexting other people, let me tell you!
– He’s sexting others because he’s lost/losing feelings and now is seeking excitement.
Perhaps the reason most dread: a partner losing feelings.
It’s, unfortunately, the case with online cheating; online cheaters who’ve lost feelings will give in to such temptations.
The chances here are pretty high—a person cheating because they no longer love their partner is quite common.
They want to find new people they can form intense experiences with.
And instead of doing the mature thing and breaking up with their partner, they behave inappropriately with people online.
– He wants to make “new” and “fresh” experiences.
It’s honestly sad just how often people cheat simply because they’re bored—this is the case here.
Your husband is sexting with others because he’s bored and seeking new experiences.
Now, don’t get me wrong—it’s not you who’s boring, it’s the fact that people are always on the lookout for more options.
Your partner is looking to break his “monotony” by bringing new people into his life, and sexting seems to be doing the trick.
– Something’s making him feel insecure in the relationship.
Another very possible reason: your husband feels insecure regarding something.
Maybe he believes that you’re way out of his league, or that the marriage won’t last long.
He’s sexting other people to “prove” himself to you and others—saying, “Hey, I have options too!”
It’s a desperate attempt to hurt the person he thinks is hurting him in return.
It’s also possible that he thinks you’re cheating first, all baseless claims.
– He’s an attention seeker.
Your partner enjoys the attention he gets from other people, and that’s without a doubt.
He’s sexting other people because he likes being noticed by others who aren’t his spouse—this is a confidence boost.
He likes knowing that he still got it; others taking a liking to him strokes his ego.
This is the thing with attention seekers: they do whatever they can to put themselves in the spotlight.
And sexting will give them just what they need to fulfill their selfish desires.
– He knows he can get away with it.
It’s the sad reality: some cheaters cheat because they know they can get away with it.
With the never-ending advancement of technology, people can sext in the comfort and privacy of their homes.
They know that with how easy it is to hide online infidelity, their partner most likely won’t know they’re sexting others.
There’s a chance your husband is thinking the same exact thing: he knows he can cheat without you knowing.
– He believes that, on some level, his needs aren’t being met.
Though there’s never a reason strong enough to cheat on a significant other, some people do so thinking their needs aren’t being met.
Be it emotional or physical.
This is only a possibility, but the reason your husband is sexting could be this: he’s somehow not satisfied, making him think he deserves “better”.
Again, this doesn’t have anything to do with your worth!
It’s the cheater’s immature, narcissistic nature playing a big part in important and life-changing decisions.
– He’s a cheater by nature—simple as that.
If your husband is a serial cheater, then we can’t exactly put sexting past him.
This is what serial cheaters do; they are cheaters by nature and have little to no consideration for their s.o.
They won’t pass up an opportunity to get romantically or sexually involved with someone other than their partner—in this case, sexting.
It’s a very sad habit many people have a hard time breaking.
Final thoughts: How to tell if your spouse is sexting somebody else?
When it comes to figuring out whether a partner is sexting, our best bet is closely observing their behavior.
Cheaters act in a very specific way and are unable to hide their guilt.
Whether it be behavioral signs regarding their significant other and/or phone, their actions give them away.
And, the signs I have mentioned above are perfect examples of how a cheater acts when they’re sexting!