Wasting precious time on a person who likes talking to multiple people is a pain in the neck.
But rest assured because no matter how sneaky someone is, there are signs that will lead you to the truth!
And we don’t even need to do a high-class investigation—players usually spill the beans.
Or to be more specific, the way they act reveals everything.
Is he talking to someone else? If so, what signs should you look out for?
Suspecting your husband or boyfriend of cheating is bound to mess with your head.
No matter how strong your intuition is, there’s always going to be that little voice in your head that tells you, “What if you’re overthinking?”.
And I for one think that acknowledging the possibility of being wrong is a reasonable thing to do.
However, if all the signs are right there, we have to tell that voice to give it a rest!
Let me show you what a person who talks to other people looks like:
1. He spends an unusually big portion of his time texting other people and being secretive.
If your boyfriend or husband is on his phone way too much, then 1) that’s not good for his eyes, and 2) he’s most likely talking to someone else.
When someone who’s in a committed relationship starts obsessing over their phone (wasting their free time on it and checking it frequently), this is usually what’s happening!
Phones aid their cheating journey, so they’re inclined to use them more often to communicate with their lovers.
- Figure out if he’s been hiding his phone, not responding to people in front of you, and declining whenever you ask to see/use it.
Most people spend a lot of time on their phones, but if your s.o. is this intense about not letting you use it, then the odds aren’t in your favor.
2. He’s low-key on social media.
This could mean a few things:
He turned off his activity status so that you don’t see whenever he’s online, or he has restricted your activity on his social media:
- He hides his Instagram stories from you;
- He deletes your comments, tags, and more;
- His friend list is private;
- He has limited his comments;
- Or he has even removed you from his social media accounts completely.
In case he is cheating, all of this is a measure to prevent you from finding out.
3. He has a flirty personality and never tries to hide it.
There’s not a bigger ick than a person who flirts with others and excuses it by saying they’re just a flirty person.
A flirt by nature? Would it kill them to not disrespect their partner’s boundaries by acting this way? Most definitely not.
If your husband is a flirty guy too, then he is presumably talking to others—his treating others special (and not telling them he’s taken) makes things escalate.
- If, for instance, he likes other women’s posts, texts them first, and is too “nice” to them.
4. He doesn’t introduce you to some of his female “friends”.
He often talks to women you’ve never heard about.
You know every single one of his acquaintances, and apparently, these women, although you don’t know them, are his pals—at least that’s what he says.
Think to yourself, “I know many of his actual friends, so why hasn’t he introduced me to her specifically?”.
Cheaters usually hide the people they’re cheating with by calling them their “friends”.
5. If he’s seeing someone else, he will avoid putting a label on you (e.g. calling you his “girlfriend” or pet names).
He doesn’t define your relationship to people: he avoids putting a label on you and telling others you’re his girlfriend.
Some people do this because they’re in a relationship with somebody else or want the freedom to see other people.
Hence, he doesn’t post about you and doesn’t introduce you to his social circle.
6. About 90% of the time he takes forever to message you back!
Well, it doesn’t have to be exactly 90%, but you know what I mean.
He usually takes a very long while to text you—even if he’s online and available, he still doesn’t respond to you.
When this happens, it usually means that someone else has their attention, making the cheater too distracted to reply to him.
7. He calls off your plans and acts oddly.
Your boyfriend or spouse often cancels plans, and if not, he can barely agree to go out in the first place.
He also behaves oddly in more ways than one—he’s always alert or anxious about something, even avoiding certain places and people.
A guy may start flaking on you once he starts cheating because he has to balance his two different lives, your relationship, and his affairs.
8. You’re used to him saying, “I’m busy!” all the time.
Your boyfriend saying he’s busy just to get out of plans with you will never not be a red flag, especially if you know for sure his schedule is clear.
If he’s always telling you he’s too busy to spend time together or using it as an excuse whenever he ignores you, he might be texting another woman.
Don’t be quick to panic! He could be genuinely busy, so wait a bit before taking this sign into account.
But, really, can a person get too busy for the one they love?
9. He gets so many notifications in a day!
It’s always going to be very unnerving when your guy receives a crazy amount of texts from a stranger.
But lately, see if he has been receiving more than usual and ask him who they’re coming from.
- To know if he’s cheating or not, just observe his reaction to your question—if he starts panicking, laughing it off, snapping at you, and/or ignoring you, then he probably is.
10. He “overreacts” whenever you ask him any questions that paint him in a bad light.
“Who are you talking to?”
“Who’s that person who commented on your picture?”
“This person called you earlier, do I know them?”
If the person is someone your partner is cheating with, then he will overreact.
- Attempt to make you forget about them (probably by starting a new topic);
- Stumble over his words;
- Become super anxious;
- Get aggressive and try to blame you for “invading” his privacy.
Remember that the key to exposing cheaters is recognizing their reactions!
11. Think to yourself if he’s a liar or not—cheaters lie a lot.
- Lies about who he’s texting and what he’s doing, or even blatant lies, such as why he has dating apps installed on his phone.
Essentially, if he’s being unfaithful, he’s going to lie about everything that might help keep his secret.
Lying is a strong sign of cheating, point-blank.
12. One person is always the center of his topics.
This is an obvious one, but if your partner keeps talking about one specific person, then one can only assume they’re star-struck by them.
This is for when your partner is talking to, and unfortunately, falling for another woman; if he literally can’t stop talking about her, they must spend a lot of time together.
Whether he means to be cheating or not, it’s happening little by little.
13. You know that another person has his attention.
I know this hurts to read, but if you feel as if he’s giving time, effort, and attention to another person, then he is seeing them.
Maybe it’s happened for your partner to stand you up just because he wanted to spend more time with his female acquaintance.
He calls and texts her more often—he prioritizes her even over you, his actual partner.
And this just isn’t something you normally do for someone.
14. You may not be the only girl he talks to if he easily gets close to other people.
For people who don’t agree with the concept of boundaries, talking to others is normal!
If your man has a similar personality, then there’s a big chance he’s already talking to someone online—in a friendly or not-so-friendly way.
- His getting too close to people too quickly, leads to more conversations, which usually leads to emotional affairs.
15. He doesn’t behave lovingly anymore!
This is a more inclusive sign of cheaters: turning cold with their partner.
- They’re more distant, hostile, and colder—this change of heart could have happened pre or post-cheating.
Because they themselves are very confused by what they’re doing and don’t know how to behave, disloyal people change.
If your s.o. is talking to people online (or cheating in any other way) then he’s most likely stopped showing his love for you.
16. Observe the communication in your relationship: is he uncommunicative?
Aside from you having to wait an eternity for a text back, he’s also not communicating with you the way couples do.
For example, he doesn’t tell you about how his day went, or what has been bugging him lately; he doesn’t ask any questions about you.
Aside from not talking about the important things (e.g. relationship problems), this also applies to casual, lighthearted topics.
17. He doesn’t initiate dates/conversations with you.
He doesn’t ask you out anymore and plan fun dates so that you two can spend time together—this, on top of canceling on you, is quite unsettling.
He doesn’t even do the absolute bare minimum, which is to send you a good morning text.
When a person finds someone else to talk to, this is what happens.
18. Everything needs to be done according to his wishes.
Don’t you think it’s a bit suspicious for him to want to do everything under his conditions?
You talk whenever he’s able to, and for how long he wants to; it’s the same with going out on dates: he picks the time and place!
If he’s talking to someone else or even meeting up with that person, in order to be more careful, your partner will insist on doing things his way.
19. He doesn’t want to meet your friends and family (or let you meet his)!
In this case, he either doesn’t want to rush, or he’s cheating.
If cheating is the case, he doesn’t see the point in telling the world he’s with you—since he’s not serious, it would only make things harder for him.
- And if you pointed this out to him, but he still doesn’t introduce you to people even after it’s been a while, then he’s probably a player.
20. He takes the word “breakup” way too lightly, mentioning it whenever given the chance.
This happens when a cheater wants to be done with their partner.
They’ll do whatever they can to get the partner to break up with them—since they don’t have the courage to do it themselves, they say things like:
“If you want to break up with me, then say so!”
He might have even broken up with you recently, but you got him to give you another chance.
And if so, why give a coward who can’t be straightforward the time of day? Not judging, just asking!
Is he seeing someone else? Check for these 9 signs:
If you’re worried that your significant other might be physically cheating, then the signs are just as obvious, if not more.
On top of everything I mentioned up until this point, here are 9 more additions that imply your boyfriend is seeing someone else.
- He argues too much (over the most frivolous things), or too little because he’s mentally broken up with you;
- He wants to spend less time together;
- He’s pushing you away bit by bit;
- It’s a bit too apparent, but see if he has begun visiting dating sites;
- You don’t hear him saying “I love you” anymore—not too frequently, at least;
- He stops showing his love for you and doing other cute gestures;
- He has put a stop to physical intimacy;
- If he purposely avoids you (for example not texting you back even though he’s online), he could be texting another girl;
- And most importantly: he totally stops putting in effort in your relationship.
Start gathering the evidence. If he’s talking to someone else online, you’ll eventually find out.
- You can start off by looking him up on dating sites. A search is all it takes!
Is he definitely talking to other girls? Is the decision final?
That’s for you to decide.
If your boyfriend/husband is showing a large number of the signs I’ve mentioned above, then chances are that he is talking to other girls.
However, be careful!
Every cheater acts differently to hide their tracks—maybe your cheating significant other is worse at it, or maybe he’s so good that he won’t let on at all.
Be rational and come to the best possible conclusion.