What’s worse than having a cheating spouse is having a clever cheating spouse—we all know why.
Their smarts make catching them on the act complicated; some cheaters are so clever that their partners don’t suspect anything for the longest time.
Not on my watch! Today I’ll be sharing with you clever tips to catch a clever cheating, and while we’re at it, we’ll learn more about affairs.
– What are the most typical ways cheaters get caught?
In order to pick the best way to expose your partner cheating, you will first need to know what works.
In a survey by the affair dating site, Illicit Encounters, 39% of the participants admitted getting caught because of a partner spying on their texts (and 22% spying on emails).
20% claimed they got exposed after accidentally lying about something, 14% got seen with their AP, and 5% got told on by someone they knew.
- So we have snooping on electronics, inconsistencies, real-time evidence, and gaining clues from other people.
If you’re concerned about your spouse being way too smart to fall for any traps, remember that they’re not invincible.
No matter how sly they are, we will find something that works for your spouse!
1. You must act as if you don’t suspect a thing!
Let me explain.
If your spouse is a really clever person, then assume they’re already being as careful as possible—so careful, actually, that despite your gut feeling, you don’t notice anything wrong.
The last thing you want is for your partner to increase their cautiousness, hereby making your mission even more difficult.
So, don’t start distancing yourself from your spouse, acting aggressively, or letting on that you’re doubtful.
Keep your investigation low-key and, as much as it sucks, keep your feelings in until you have solid proof.
2. Start by unlocking your spouse’s phone.
I’m sure checking their phone has already crossed your mind, and unfortunately, it’s one of the most successful ways of finding a cheater out.
However, there are a couple of issues if your spouse is being clever about their affair: their phone is probably locked and they consistently delete all evidence.
If your spouse’s phone requires their fingerprints, you can unlock it while they’re asleep (quickly press their phone screen against their fingerprints).
For other passcodes (e.g. patterns, letters, numbers), I hate to break it to you, but the only way is to glimpse at your spouse’s phone while they’re unlocking it!
Once you unlock it, check for dating applications and inappropriate messages on social media platforms (especially WhatsApp).
Don’t forget to look through their phone’s Recycle Bins in case of deleted messages and media files.
3. Use spying tools (GPS, cameras, apps, etc.)!
Just make sure you’re not breaking any laws in your country.
1. Wire your place with security cameras.
Security cameras are a generally great way to keep your family safe, and it just so happens they’re useful for uncovering infidelity.
You’ll see if your spouse brings other people over or calls/texts them.
2. Plant a GPS device in your car.
If you and your spouse share ownership of your car, it’s legal to plant a GPS device in it (you’ll know where your spouse is at all times).
3. Spying apps and keyloggers.
Keyloggers help you track your partner’s keystrokes, which in return will help you figure out if they’re talking to another person.
Most spying apps offer keyloggers alongside location tracking and text spying, so if you’re able to grab your spouse’s phone for a few minutes, you can install and set them up.
And I know what you’re thinking—no, your spouse won’t find the app on their phone because it turns invisible!
4. Enable auto-answering on your spouse’s phone.
This is great for two scenarios:
If your spouse is together with their AP or if their AP unexpectedly calls them.
On iOS phones: Settings > Accessibility > Touch > Call Audio Routing > Auto-Answer Calls;
On Android phones: Settings > Accessibility > Answering and Ending Calls > Answer Automatically.
With this method, they won’t be able to let your calls ring until you eventually stop trying! Your spouse will most likely also not notice this slight change on their phone.
5. Check all the places they’ve visited and Wi-Fi networks they’ve been connected to on their phone.
Yeah, your spouse might be an extremely careful person, but what are the odds of them deleting their Wi-Fi networks and locations?
Let’s find out.
To see their networks on iOS go to Settings > Wi-Fi > Edit > enter your spouse’s phone password.
On Android go to Settings > Connections > Wi-Fi > top-right menu > Advanced > Manage Networks.
As for locations, if your spouse uses Google Maps, click on the app, tap their profile, go to Maps, and see the data.
If they’re not using it but operate an iOS device, go to Settings, pick Privacy, tap on Location Services, then System Services, and finally click on Significant Locations.
6. Hide your phone somewhere and let it record.
If you don’t want to purchase something like a GPS tracker or risk installing spyware on your spouse’s phone, that’s understandable.
Download a recording app on your phone or use your device’s camera/voice recording tools (if they’re powerful and long-lasting).
- Hide it nicely somewhere, like inside a drawer, behind a painting, or on top of a ceiling fan, and press Record.
Do this when you’re away on business trips or come up with an excuse to leave the house so that your spouse feels comfortable inviting their AP over.
7. Look into skilled private investigators you can hire.
No, this doesn’t happen only in movies! You can hire someone from a private investigation company (such as Atlantis) to follow your s.o. around, and it’s not that uncommon.
However, not just any investigator! It needs to be someone:
- Who’s not a fraud;
- And willing to accept family matters (infidelity, in this case).
On average, hiring a private investigator may cost $99-$150 per hour, so it’s definitely not a cheap option, however, they’re quite good.
They’ll tail your husband/wife and find out if they’re cheating in no time.
8. See if your spouse is on dating apps with the help of sites like SocialCatfish and Spokeo.
Choose a *legit* site because these services need to be paid for and you might get ripped off!
SocialCatfish’s prices range from $6.48 to $6.87 for 3 days; to use Spokeo, you will need to pay $14.95 to $19.95 a month.
What you need to do is enter your spouse’s first and last name, phone number, or email address and you’ll get your report.
- All of their dating accounts will come to light if your spouse is using their real name/number/email.
9. If you have at least two Amazon Alexa devices, do this:
Open the Alexa App, tap on Devices, and go to Echo & Alexa.
Select the device you want to be able to eavesdrop on (the one in the living room, master bedroom, etc.).
Scroll down to Communications and click on Drop In; pick either the “On” option or the “My Household” one!
After that, click the Communicate button at the bottom of your screen and pick which contact you’re allowing to drop in on you (your spouse’s).
If the devices are on your account, you can go to your Alexa App, click on Communicate again, go to Drop In, and choose either a device on your home or a phone number from your contact list.
When you’re away from your home, this is how you can spy on your spouse using Amazon Alexa!
10. Tail your spouse throughout their day.
I mean, if you have the time to follow them all day, it is an option.
- After they’re done with work or whatever prior engagement, follow them slowly and cautiously.
Mask yourself really well—change your hairstyle and clothes, maybe wear some glasses and a hat, but nothing too ridiculous!
Observe from a distance with a friend or alone and see if your spouse has been lying to you about their whereabouts.
11. Tell them you’re going away on business, but stand nearby.
A lot of cheaters see this as an opportunity to bring their lovers home—if you sell your story, your spouse might believe you.
- Start talking throughout the week about how you’ve overheard your boss say you might need to go to x location for x reason if things don’t calm down. At the end of the week, complain to your spouse about how much you don’t want to go but have to.
Your mentioning of this ahead of time and unwillingness to attend the imaginary business trip will convince them you’re telling the truth.
On the day of the trip, stay at a trustworthy acquaintance’s house who lives close to you and observe what your spouse does.
Do they bring somebody you’ve never met home? Do they come back home late at night? These are two red-flag scenarios!
12. Psychological tricks to catch a cheater: asking the right questions!
That 20% of people getting caught because of something accidental they said is no joke; cheaters usually rat themselves out.
If pressed enough, your spouse too will let one more than they should have, you just have to know how to ask the right questions.
As your spouse is telling you lies about where they were and what they were doing, dig deeper into their story, but very casually:
“Who were you with?”, “What did you do afterward? Went out with friends?”
- The more you question your partner, the more details they will be forced to fabricate and eventually get tangled up in a web of lies.
After they’re emotionally maxed out, purposefully ask them something wrong:
“I heard that [completely different restaurant/bar/cinema from what they initially said] was booming last night! Did you have fun?”
If they don’t correct you, you caught them!
Very subtle signs that your clever spouse is cheating on you…look out!
Before doing anything extreme, like installing spyware all around your house, I suggest you take a good, long look at your partner.
Are they behaving oddly?
- They get off their phone as soon as you get too close;
- Your picture is no longer their phone wallpaper;
- They dress more nicely lately;
- Oddly enough, their message inbox and browser history are empty;
- Now they go out almost every day and stay out until late;
- There’s an increase in your emotional distance;
- When you’re together and they receive a call, they never answer it;
- Your spouse used to complain until lately about your marriage, but now they’ve suddenly stopped;
- They often call to check up on your location (aka keeping tabs on you so that they know which places to avoid);
- And most importantly, they have cheated in the past.
–When is an affair most likely to be exposed?
I can’t give you an exact estimate, but the survey from Illicit Encounters paints us a clearer picture: most cheaters are caught during their third affair.
11% of the respondents were caught during their first one and 12% during their second one.
On average, it takes about 4 years for an affair to be exposed,
But don’t let that number scare you as there’s honestly no telling.
One thing’s for sure, though, if you’re taking steps to uncover your spouse’s lies, that number will certainly get smaller!
The best tip anyone could give you is to always trust your gut.
Have you been getting an aching, intense feeling for no reason whenever your spouse tells you “Honey, I’m home!” or “Honey, I’m going out!”?
Don’t brush it off as something unimportant, your body is reacting to something it picked up on without your knowledge.
Maybe it noticed a particular, different cologne or a small lipstick stain on their collar!
It doesn’t matter what it is, if that uncomfortable feeling is present, do whatever is necessary to give yourself peace of mind.