Is he talking to someone else on WhatsApp? Experts show you the proper way to spot it!


WhatsApp might seem like a simple app to use but most of the time can confuse us.

Especially, if you’re in a relationship and the communication between you and your boyfriend starts to tremble.

Yet, to avoid doubt and find relevant proof, you need to check how he uses this app too.

If he has customized notifications, you’re always the one starting the conversations, he always starts typing but disappears, then he might be talking to someone else.

To define it, here are 7 crucial signs and 3 ways to find out if he’s talking to someone else on Whatsapp:

1. He stays online late at night but ignores your messages.

He stays online late at night but ignores your messages

If he stays online only late at night all the time but ignores your messages then he is using WhatsApp to talk to other people too.

In general, this topic is very controversial because he might be online and not use the app. He might forget to change his status.

Or, he might be using WhatsApp primarily because it might be an easy app for him to text and have access to.

So, if you double or triple-text him and he’s online only during midnight but never replies, he might be ignoring your texts.

Side note: I recommend you to have open communication with him if you’re in a committed relationship or dating exclusively. 

Only by addressing the problem can you understand his actions. He might not react positively if he’s hiding something.

2. The moment you text him, he goes offline.

One of the most obvious signs that he’s talking to someone else on WhatsApp is that he goes offline the moment you text him.

  • However, it might mean that he might be busy at that moment or he didn’t see the notification that you texted him.
  • Yet if he does this every time you text him, he is doing it on purpose. In this case, he isn’t doing it accidentally. 

His feelings might have changed at the moment or maybe he is going through some tough time and can’t express it.

Side note: If you’re going through this, I recommend you give him some space and later on try to talk to him.

Try to have a subtle approach while you convey your feelings and thoughts.

3. He opens your messages but doesn’t reply for a long time.

He opens your messages but doesnt reply for a long time.

If he opens your messages on WhatsApp once or twice and doesn’t reply for a certain time that doesn’t always mean that he’s talking to someone else.

  • It could mean that he’s busy at that moment but still is interested in what you have to say.
  • To define the meaning behind his actions, you need to know more about his personality.

He might be doing this on purpose just so he can get your attention or maybe he’s just trying to prove his worth to you.

The answer to all this matter is linked tightly to what type of a person he is and how he feels about you.

4. His actions are disruptive: He takes irregular breaks during the conversation.

To be more specific, to notice when he’s talking to someone else on WhatsApp, you need to reflect on his texting patterns and his behavior.

  • If he is constantly disappearing in the middle of the conversation and he either gives you a mere reason or just acts like nothing happened.
  • If he’s in a relationship with someone else then he might consider you a backup plan until he feels ready to be in a relationship with her.

Thus, in this case, I recommend you track his actions for a while, and if he’s constantly doing this, try to use third-party apps too.

  • You can use Social Catfish when you want to find out if he’s being disruptive because he’s cheating on you.

You need to pay $5.73 to use this app for 5 days. All you need is to put his information (even just a picture) and then within minutes.

You can check if he has any social media that you don’t know and maybe he’s chatting on WhatsApp with one of his followers there.

5. He tells you that he’s busy but he’s constantly online.

It’s quite understandable when a person is busy or having a hard time and cannot text you all the time.

Hence, in a healthy relationship, the boyfriend or husband will tell you that he needs some time alone for a certain reason and that’s okay.

But, if he’s constantly online and you notice that he changes his profile pic or posts a picture then he’s definitely talking to someone else.

If you haven’t talked to him about this, try to do it but I advise you to organize an intimate date and make it interesting.

Try to play a few games that can help both you and him express yourself better.

6. He muted notifications for certain chats on Whatsapp.

To know with whom your boyfriend is chatting on WhatsApp, you need to have access to his WhatsApp.

If you just try to suppose that he’s talking to someone else on WhatsApp, you might end up choosing the wrong conclusion.

Thus, if you have a chance to use his phone and go through his WhatsApp then you might do it.

  • Ask him to use his phone to text someone on WhatsApp and if he drags it and tries to hide something, he might be chatting with someone.
  • You might notice that he has muted notifications for that particular chat.
  • To be more precise, you can also use apps like IKeyMonitor, WaStat or ChatWatch, to monitor his WhatsApp activity and when he’s online and not.

One last piece of advice regarding this is that if you monitor his WhatsApp without his consent, he might sue you for trespassing.

7. He starts to communicate differently with you.

One of the signs that he is talking to someone else on WhatsApp is when he suddenly and slowly starts to change his style of communication.

  • His replies are shorter;
  • The tone that he uses is colder;
  • He leaves you on delivered for many hours;

You notice that he has a cold behavior towards you.

Yet, what I did when my then-boyfriend behaved the same was mirroring his behavior.

Just by acting the same, I wasn’t inducing toxic behavior. I was only triggering his consciousness and making him reflect on his actions.

After a week, he asked me what was wrong and I slowly started explaining and reflecting on the situation.

How do I know who my boyfriend is chatting with on WhatsApp?

To know who your boyfriend is chatting with on WhatsApp, you can use different apps, peek at his phone, and analyze his behavior and speech.

If you combine these elements then you’ll get more accurate results than just hanging to some mere evidence.

– Connect his Whatsapp account to your computer.

Connect his WhatsApp to your computer

I would recommend this method to use only if you want to know that he’s talking to someone else on WhatsApp and cheating on you

  • Go to WhatsApp on his phone.
  • Then you need to download Whatsapp on your computer.
  • On his phone tap Menu then Settings and Select the option Linked Devices.
  • Click on Link a Device.
  • Scan the QR code and you can connect these two devices.

– You can check his top conversations.

If you stumble upon his WhatsApp account, you can go through his top conversations.

At the same time make sure that you have heavy doubts about him otherwise taking this risk can result in negative results.

But, if you need to do it so you can prove that he is cheating or that he’s not doing this on purpose then you can check his top conversation.

Let’s be clear that he might hide or delete the conversations with whom he talks the most (if he’s cheating on you).

Hence if he isn’t cheating on you and randomly talking to someone else on WhatsApp and he isn’t sexting, he won’t hide/delete the conversations.

Ask him random questions about WhatsApp.

Something that will trigger him and maybe give you the right answers is to ask him a few questions regarding WhatsApp.

You can start a simple conversation and ask him to explain WhatsApp to you in more detail.

Then you can swap your phones, so you can try different features of this app.

And this way you won’t touch his phone without his consent. 

Also, you have the chance to go through the app and even ask questions about conversations there.

What to do if you start to doubt that he’s talking to someone else on WhatsApp?

First, ask yourself why you’re doing this. Is it because of your insecurities or there are the main signs that he’s dissociating himself from you?

Sometimes our insecurities tend to make us more obsessed, especially with our partner.

If he is online and always delays his replies this doesn’t mean that he’s constantly talking to another woman.

He might be talking to his colleagues or family. This depends on what job he does and if he is very close to his family.

To solve this matter in the best possible way, follow these three steps:

– Try to reflect on his actions and yours too.

He might be ignoring you because maybe you have been doing the same.

So before pointing out at him, try to reflect on your behavior too.

Calm down, recollect your thoughts, and have open communication with him.

– Avoid stalking him or peeking at his phone.

If your doubts are proved wrong then you might lose your boyfriend’s or husband’s trust.

What I advise you to do is to take it step by step. Start by reflecting on how he’s acting and if he’s distancing himself from you.

Then check if he’s all secretive or texting late at night and you hear the notifications from WhatsApp, then you know that something is wrong.

You can always look him up on other social media and dating apps to see if there’s suspicious activity. Look his number up and get rid of your doubts here!

– Let him know that this situation needs to change.

Confronting him about it is another healthy way to go about this.

If this keeps coming your way and your relationship doesn’t feel the same as before, try to ask him to talk about it.

Try to reflect and check if you can find a middle ground. If both of you aren’t willing to work on this issue, one of you might end up hurt.

Summing it up!

If he’s talking to someone else on WhatsApp, you’ll know it when his interaction with you changes slowly but there are patterns that seem odd to you.

In this case, you might feel confused and you start to doubt yourself.

I recommend you not judge his actions immediately but you can just sit and watch for some time and analyze his actions.

If he constantly is online and ignores your messages or is constantly changing his profile, he must be talking to someone else.

Try to define what you want from this relationship and communicate your needs and boundaries.

Best of luck!


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