The thing with texting is that it gives cheaters easier access to adultery.
If you’re worrying because you have a strong feeling your spouse is texting another person, then I recommend two things!
Firstly, you need to look at signs that confirm your wife is talking to another man—for the sake of your marriage, do not guess about stuff like this!
And if there are enough (convincing) signs, take the next step, which is to find out for sure that she’s cheating through text.
Now that we have the basics down, let’s start off by explaining how a partner who’s text-cheating acts!
1. She deletes a big portion of her text conversations if not all.
When a partner is text-cheating, then of course they’re going to delete all of those text messages!
I want to ask you something: if you ever, by any chance, had the opportunity to look at her inbox, was it all empty?
Or you saw a notification from one specific man pop up, but their chat was nowhere to be found?
If you answered yes, then your wife has deleted those text messages—the unfaithful ones!
This is an undeniable sign (and the most typical one) that hints at a partner’s cyber-infidelity.
2. She usually leaves the room to answer one simple text!
Which is really weird when you think about it—what is so private that she can’t let you see?
If she got a text from the man she’s been talking to, and if you were to accidentally sneak a look, you’d instantly know what she’s been doing.
She’s being extra cautious and not taking any risks; that’s why she gets up to leave the room whenever she receives a spicy text!
3. Whenever you enter the room, she locks her phone immediately.
This is a bit of a subtle sign, but keep an eye out for it!
If your wife panics and locks her phone as soon as you enter the room, then that means she’s hiding something.
Nothing should be assumed right off the bat, but doing this doesn’t make a partner look too good.
She is acting as if she has something to hide on her phone, so your doubts are more than justified.
4. It’s always excuses when you ask to see her phone.
It’s as if she’s guarding it with all her might.
Your phone’s battery could’ve died and you innocently ask to look something up on her phone, but she profusely refuses.
No matter what, you can’t touch her phone because she throws a fit—this is definitely not something anybody should overlook.
If she is texting another man, then she won’t give you her phone; she doesn’t want you to accidentally find out, in other words.
The other man could suddenly text or call her, so she’s being careful!
5. She doesn’t text you back for hours even though she’s online and able to.
If this has been happening way too often, then it could mean that she’s giving that attention to another person.
Seeing her online on social media after having texted her earlier but gotten no response means a lot of things—few of which are good.
Not a lot of people can multitask and text multiple people at the same time, and it sounds like this is the case with your wife!
6. Your wife’s on her phone way too often—more often than usual.
Another thing that signals she’s texting another man is an increase in phone usage—she definitely wasn’t using her phone to this extent before.
If your wife is on her phone every waking hour, then something isn’t right: there has to be a reason for her new habit.
She’s always texting on her phone nowadays—as soon as she gets the opportunity, that’s all she does.
So, see if your partner has been spending too much time on her phone—it usually indicates she’s recently started talking to another person!
7. She’s also online at late night hours.
A cheater’s prime time is nighttime—this is when they usually have the time to talk to their affair partners. This is the best time to catch them.
If you notice that your wife is up late during unusual hours, that might be when she and her AP usually talk!
Texting him during the day would be too risky, so she does it when you’re asleep and unable to tell.
8. And that might be the reason why she disables her activity status!
Because she’s up late at night and avoids you during the day, she keeps her activity status off.
This way, you won’t know when she’s online and she can easily excuse her behavior:
“I was busy and didn’t see you texted me!”, “I haven’t been online the whole day.”
How can you deny such excuses when you don’t know for sure if she’s been active on social media or not? That’s exactly the point!
9. She’s changed her phone passcode and social media passwords.
If her phone never had a passcode, it suddenly does.
A lot of couples exchange passwords to show each other they can be trusted—this was the case in your marriage too until your spouse changed everything!
Aside from her phone, she also changed all of her accounts’ passwords and claims it’s nothing serious.
And I hope you know it is serious! Why else would a partner feel the need to do this? Other than trying to conceal infidelity, I mean.
10. Whenever you peek at her phone, there’s one guy who’s always texting her.
This is for when your partner is cheating with another person on a deeper level, not just sexting them.
If it’s happened for you to look at her phone on different occasions and still see the same man texting her in a seemingly flirty way, then I’m afraid this is what’s happening.
It seems like your s.o. is directing her attention towards one specific man, most likely someone she’s growing fond of.
They talk quite often, and that’s why you’re seeing his name pop up.
11. Not only that, but she acts odd when you ask who she’s texting.
She gets exceptionally defensive when you ask her who she’s talking to!
She may even get aggressive and basically tell you that it’s none of your concern—know that her refusal to answer is an answer!
Another common reaction is gaslighting and blame-shifting; all of this is done as a way to deflect the situation.
She’s either paranoid you’re catching on, or hoping to convince you she’s not guilty.
12. She says that’s just her cousin or friend.
By the way, he’s not.
She’s lying about who the man she’s texting is because she obviously can’t tell you the truth if he is her affair partner.
This is nothing innovative, though: people have been lying about their lover being a “relative” or “friend” since forever.
It is possible she’s telling the truth, but when you inspect a bit further, is it appropriate for a friend to be texting her “I love you” late at night?
Definitely not! See how your wife and that person behave around each other.
13. There’s one person (or multiple) people always being friended by her.
And you know for a fact they’re not her friends or relatives this time!
Your spouse is always friending new, strange men on social media, despite your (reasonable) discomfort about it.
Not a perfect sign per se, but if she’s going out of her way to send and accept a friend request, there is a likelihood that she’s texting those men.
But again, she could just be a very friendly person.
14. She’s always smiling and visibly happy when she’s typing on her phone!
Another sign that is more on the subtle side: your wife is noticeably happier when she’s on her phone rather than with you.
She’s always smiling as she’s typing on her keyboard, but it seems as if her bubble bursts as soon as you talk to her.
She has so much fun when she’s talking to the mysterious man, and in my experience, not everybody has that kind of impact on another person!
15. Her phone’s always buzzing!
She’s getting more notifications than usual—from one or multiple people!
This is usually a sign that there are new people in her life; they’re texting her more often, and she’s reciprocating.
Her phone is always buzzing with notifications from strangers, and to find out if she’s being unfaithful, look into what’s being said!
Hearing a partner’s phone constantly get notifications from people who aren’t you is unnerving, but it makes for a useful hint.
16. Or not at all—she’s turned off her notifications.
It’s suspicious if a partner’s phone gets too many notifications and no notifications at all—it’s a lose-lose situation!
It’s all about the fact that she intentionally turned off her social apps’ notifications, which is pretty inconvenient for most people.
The reason why your partner could’ve done this is to keep you unsuspecting: she doesn’t want you to know who she’s talking to, in what way, and how often.
To achieve that, a cheater would need to disable all suspicious notifications, so this is why your wife’s phone is dry!
17. She has another phone besides the one you know she had!
Not a work phone, just another normal, secondary one.
She tries to hide it and is usually quite secretive about it—she may have not even told you about it at all, but you accidentally found out.
Cheaters use their second phone for dodgy stuff: using their normal, day-to-day phones for cheating would be too careless.
18. Cryptic messaging with cheaters.
A popular way cheaters communicate with each other is through cryptic messaging:
- Shortened words;
- Words with hidden meanings;
- Acronyms, etc!
For example, when two cheaters want to get to know each other they might ask for ASLP, which means Age/Sex/Location/Picture;
“Straycation” means a vacation taken with the intent to cheat on a significant other;
If you come across the acronym NSFS, it means not suitable for spouse!
If your wife has been speaking in codes, it’s very likely that she’s attempting to hide her infidelity in plain sight.
How to find out if your wife is cheating? The best methods.
Want to find out the real deal? Here’s how you do it!
– Look her up on dating sites by using Swindlerbuster.
Using dating apps is cheating despite the ‘controversial’ thoughts around it.
If you want to catch her red-handed on this, then you’ve got to have proof. The way to do it? Using Swindlerbuster.
One search and she’s exposed!
– Check her notifications whenever she gets any.
If she has her notifications enabled, you’ll definitely find out if she’s cheating over text.
Whenever her phone lights up and your wife isn’t looking, see who texted her and what exactly—did a man send her a flirtatious text?
If you two are spending time together while she’s on her phone, sneak a peek over her shoulder and see if you can catch a glimpse!
This might sound a bit silly, and it definitely is toxic, but it’s nothing compared to the next method!
– Looking through your wife’s phone will answer all of your questions.
But I don’t recommend doing it as you’ll be putting your marriage in jeopardy—checking a partner’s phone is not healthy behavior.
If you decide to check it nonetheless, then you need to be careful!
For this method, you will need to know her password (if she has one)—once you’re able to unlock her phone, you’ll need to be quick and slick!
After you’re done, leave things the way they were, and if you’ve left no evidence behind, the mission is complete.
– Check both her default Messages and social media apps.
If she’s cheating, she must be using one of them.
Check her default Messages app and see if she’s texting anyone on it—just to be safe, also check her saved contacts.
And the same goes for social media: check all of them (Whatsapp, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, etc) thoroughly!
Let’s just hope that she doesn’t regularly delete her messages!
– If she has deleted her messages, see if they can be recovered!
Good news and bad news: the good news is that there’s a place where deleted messages can be found!
The bad news is that it’s possible the messages were deleted indefinitely even in that place—let me show you where to find deleted messages:
- On Samsung, you can find them on the default Messages app, the three-dots menu, in the Recycle Bin;
- On iPhone, they’re located in the Edit Menu on Messages!
This method works if your wife has been texting people on her phone’s default messaging application.
– Message her from a different account and see how she acts around a “stranger”.
But is it really considered cheating if you were the one she was flirting with, even though she didn’t know?
Yes! And I’m about to explain why!
You’re technically texting her from a fake account—as far as she’s aware, you’re a good-looking stranger who’s flirting with her.
- If she flirts back with you, that means two things:
Had it not been you but an actual stranger she fancies, she would’ve flirted with him too;
She’s probably done this in the past, and/or is open to doing it again in the future.
You get the point!
– Use spying apps to get a bigger picture of what she does online.
This I recommend even less because it’s a complete violation of your spouse’s online privacy.
- You’ll get to see her browser history (useful for finding out if she’s using dating sites);
- You’ll see all of the photos and videos she saves;
- You’ll know her location at all times;
- You’ll see what she types on her keyboard;
- You’ll know all her social media activity;
- You’ll receive real-time updates.
In short, it does work but as I said, this is toxic—even though these apps are invisible, had your wife known you were doing this, she would feel very uncomfortable and hurt.
It’s best to give communication a try before anything else.
I’m not one to complicate things: communication is my go-to!
Every couple does things differently, but if you think your wife’s cheating, I believe it’s best to talk to her before taking any more steps.
Talk to her about why her behavior is making you anxious—tell her about how lately it feels as if she has someone else.
Try your hardest to understand if she’s lying or not, and if you suspect she is, then give the methods I talked about a try!