It’s useful to recognize a liar’s pattern—this way, no matter how much they try, they won’t be able to pull a fast one on us!
Deceitful people speak and behave very peculiarly, so all that’s left is for us to identify those peculiarities.
If your instincts are telling you that your partner’s lying while having a very important discussion, keep in mind that this is how men act:
1. Very unclear, undefined answers.
“Maybe. I don’t know!”
These are some examples of what a person might say if they’re guilty but careful.
If during your whole discussion, your man has been frustratingly vague, then he could be purposely dodging the truth!
He’s withholding certain details so as to not let on more than he should; it is possible he’s also not very good under pressure.
2. Listen closely if he contradicts himself at one point!
If he is lying, he will contradict himself later on in his story—it’s hard remembering untrue facts.
For instance, let’s say he was in a certain place at a certain time:
After a while, if you come back to that part of the story, he will most likely get the place and time mixed up.
This is a strong sign he’s lied about that specific detail, and if he lied about one thing, he likely lied about the others.
Don’t call him out on it immediately, though! In case he was mistaken, wait for him to correct himself!
3. Does he retreat/back out? If so, he could be feeling overwhelmed due to the guilt.
Backing out from a conversation is not a good sign: if your partner is an honest person, he would do everything—literally—to convince you.
However, if he retreats and cuts the confrontation short, know he’s feeling overwhelmed.
He knows he’s been caught, and that’s too much for him to handle.
- He doesn’t explain himself;
- He doesn’t answer your questions;
- He rushes to get out of your presence;
- He wants to stop talking at once!
4. If he’s gaslighting you, be on guard.
And don’t fall for his trap—when all is said and done, liars rely on gaslighting and other methods of manipulating.
If he’s purposely twisting the truth while also making you seem like the unreasonable one, know you got him where you wanted!
“Are you listening to yourself? You’re acting so different…that never even happened!”
He wants you to second-guess yourself, and hopefully, drop the topic altogether.
5. He repeats any questions you ask him before answering.
Did he repeat your questions before definitely answering them? If he did, then he could be lying.
Repetition gives liars a few extra moments to perfect their falsehoods—all of your questions will catch him by surprise, therefore, he needs some time.
This is one of their many habits.
6. He starts getting very emotional.
In my experience, a cheater will either fake being emotional (so that you feel bad), or actually get emotional because they can’t handle the situation they themselves created.
- Leaving the confrontation, etc.
It’s understandable even for an innocent person to get emotional after being wrongly accused, though, but there is a way to tell:
If your significant other does not explain himself, tells lies, tries to manipulate you, and acts suspiciously, then they are likely guilty.
7. He tries to win you over with sweet words.
There’s a time and place for everything, and flirting with you while you two are having an important discussion is not it.
If your partner is being overly sweet while you’re confronting him about something serious that could potentially break your relationship, then he could be trying to sweet-talk you.
This is his way to calm things down and hopefully win you over:
“Babe, it’s not that! That person does not even compare to you. You’re perfect.”
He says this, yet you caught him engaging in inappropriate behavior with that person? The math just doesn’t add up.
8. He might also try to make it seem as if what he did was not a big deal—don’t be surprised.
Though few people dare to try this when they’re caught in bed with someone else—it’s usually the ones who micro-cheat.
Because sexting isn’t a physical form of cheating (and some don’t even consider it cheating), he will find a way to talk you into forgiving him by saying something like:
“I never met up with [name] in person. It was only a stupid text message I now regret sending. All of this over a message?!”
Whatever it is, if you consider it cheating, then it is cheating—don’t let anyone lessen a situation’s importance!
9. He doesn’t look you in the eye.
Because cheaters know what they’re doing is wrong, sometimes, they won’t be able to look us in the eye.
They’ll look literally anywhere but at us—this is to prevent being analyzed and eventually found out.
Just be careful with eye contact! It’s one of the less reliable body language signs.
In order to persuade you, your s.o. might attempt intense eye contact too.
10. If he’s lying, his talking will fairly change—if you listen closely, you can notice.
- A change in his tone;
- Excessive use of swear words;
- Doesn’t use personal pronouns;
- Delays while he’s speaking, etc.
This is what you need to look out for—verbal signals will tell you if your partner is being sincere.
Dishonest people’s voices usually change out of fear; they’ll pause while talking and avoid referring to themselves while explaining.
There’s not a lot they can do to hide their evils in this aspect!
Keep an eye out for any changes in his voice and speech.
11. He purposely leaves certain parts of his story out.
Liars prefer to leave certain parts of their stories out while adding unnecessary ones in.
He doesn’t answer a big chunk of your questions, and the ones he does are sketchy or superficial.
For instance, he might have told you he went out with his guy friends, but after you pull out proof he admits that women may have been present.
In other words, a liar slowly starts bread-crumbing you the truth.
Also, they love overexplaining by adding unnecessary details (an attempt to prove to you they’re telling the truth).
12. Take his defensiveness as a sign.
Defensiveness, when it comes to cheaters (and liars) is often a giveaway:
- Not holding themselves accountable;
- Telling another person how to feel;
- Accusing the other person right back;
- Criticizing someone for blaming them, and more.
Liars repeatedly make excuses, or might even refuse to talk as a whole.
But, I have to say, a cheater’s favorite comeback is accusing you of the same thing they’re being accused of.
If you suspect your significant other is cheating, then of course you’d want to confront them—just keep in mind that he might bring up a time it looked like you were being unfaithful.
13. He tries to make you feel worse for coming forward about it.
I just have to give special attention to this because I’m tired of it—we are all tired of it.
If your s.o. shames you for speaking your mind and trying to make the air clear, then not only is he a liar, but also a selfish person.
But let’s focus more on the liar part: guilt-tripping is their favorite weapon.
This way not only do they get themselves out of confrontation, but decrease the chances of it ever happening again (due to the guilt the other person might start to feel).
If your partner is doing the same thing, then you know what’s up!
14. Refer to his body language—liars cannot stand still!
When confronted, liars cannot stay put; their bodies are too honest for that.
They also fear being exposed—it makes them feel all jittery and unable to relax:
- Playing with their hair;
- Touching their necks;
- Touching their face (the nose especially);
- Fidgeting with objects;
- Moving their feet;
- Covering their chests with their arms.
If your partner moves around a lot during this time, then that’s a result of his guilt and/or anxiety.
Body language is our best shot at detecting deceivers!
15. Closely watch his facial expressions—when people lie, they change.
We already know that cheaters may or may not handle eye contact, but are there any other facial expressions that might be of help?
When you discover someone’s lies, they will feel fear, shock, and/or sadness—this feeling will manifest in their face.
Closely watch your man’s facial expression during the time you’re confronting him.
- His lips are pushed back;
- His eyebrows are raised;
- His (upper) eyelid is raised;
- His mouth is slightly opened/tightly closed, then this is called fear microexpression.
It’s the same as with body language: faces can’t be typically controlled when the element of surprise is present.
Also, if your partner sounds different (e.g. calm) but his face looks different (e.g. showing fear), that’s usually a strong indication he’s telling fibs.
16. All changes in his regular behavior are possible signs.
Telling them apart is all that’s left.
From your partner’s behavior, and words, all the way down to the movement of his feet—nothing should be ignored.
Cheaters over-scrutinize their behavior because they want to portray themselves as innocent as possible (this results in multiple changes).
- Face (expressions parts of their faces, eye movement, overall mood);
- Body gestures (body parts, hand gestures, posture, direction);
- Behavior (attitude and habits);
- Speech (intonation and vocabulary).
Of course, there are methods to find out if someone’s factually cheating, but if that’s not your way of doing things, then these changes are all you have!
– What to do when you know someone is lying, but they won’t admit it?
It’s very frustrating being in a position like this, but we’re going to have to learn to tolerate it.
If you’re dealing with a liar, you’re also dealing with their selfishness—we can’t possibly expect them to confess out of the blue, or even at all.
But if they absolutely won’t admit it, I recommend being calm about it (as tempting as giving them a piece of your mind might be)!
- Be calm, but strict about everything: the fact that you know the truth, the proof/details, and where your relationship will be headed.
- Do not shout, threaten, or insult your partner—not only will this make them less likely to admit to what they’ve done, but you will also be taken as a toxic person.
If they keep denying everything even after being shown solid proof, then think to yourself:
Is it worth dealing with this person and the negativity they bring me?
It hurts to hear, but sometimes we’re just better off without certain people in our lives.
– Is he lying to me, or am I just being paranoid?
Paranoia is unjustified mistrust that comes to a person for seemingly no reason.
If your boyfriend or husband hasn’t shown any signs of cheating, and if he behaves as he usually does, then yeah, that can be passed off as paranoia.
However, on one hand…
Even if you have no proof, if he has been acting suspiciously (or if he’s lied to you before), then I understand the concern—it’s completely justified.
If your partner is acting the way I explained above, then he might not be telling the truth.
Don’t ignore your gut!
Liars almost always act identically…let’s not forget!
Liars have been studied on numerous occasions, and that has led to the betterment of our judgment.
The way they talk, think, and move—these can all be used to detect a liar.
So, if you’re pondering whether you’re being told the truth or not, just have a look at the signs—you’ll be able to tell instantly.