The frustrating feeling of knowing that a partner is cheating but not admitting it is unmatched!
Most of the time, a cheater will not admit to what they’re doing—I mean, why would they? They’re deliberately hiding it.
But I’m positive that none of this comes as a surprise: cheaters won’t flat-out say they’re cheating, and that’s why we’re pushed to trick that information out of them.
To make a cheating partner admit to their wrongs, this is what you need to do:
First, make sure you have a good reason to think they’re cheating—here are the guaranteed signs!
You can’t get your partner to admit to something they haven’t done!
Before you go through with these methods (some of which, I must admit, are quite toxic), you need to be 100% sure they’re cheating.
I’m sure you’re already noticing a few typical cheating signs that your partner is showing, and that’s probably what sparked your suspicions in the first place.
For reference, here are some subtle and not-so-subtle signs your partner is cheating that you need to look out for:
- They would never let you use their phone;
- You two often argue lately;
- They keep their notifications off;
- Your partner always leaves the room when getting a call or text;
- They’ve been pulling away for a while now;
- They go out without telling you, and stay out late;
- Their phone gets blown up by strangers’ texts;
- At times, you can’t even reach them;
- They receive/send gifts quite often;
- Your partner is very irritable;
- They call YOU a cheater.
- You catch them lying;
- They’re very defensive over the simplest questions;
- They give little to no details (or way too many details) whenever you ask them about their night out.
Calling someone a cheater is pretty serious stuff; if your partner is actually innocent, this will leave a mark on them.
This is why we need to have proof and a good reason—once that criteria is met, feel free to try these methods out to make your partner admit they’re cheating!
1. Have a heart-to-heart, serious conversation where you ask them about it.
I know, I know! This is really obvious.
Being straightforward with a cheater and asking if they’ve been cheating may not be that tricky, but even so, it is the healthiest method.
Your sincerity and concern might just be enough to make the cheater feel remorseful and confess everything.
Open the possibility of their cheating as a discussion and reveal what’s giving you such thoughts; do not accuse, insult, or act negatively with them.
But (as you guessed) the cheater will probably lie and not even care that you’ve been having these worries—especially if they’re a narcissist.
2. When they start opening up even a little bit, nod and encourage them.
Do not raise your voice or berate them for what they’ve done—even though you really, really want to.
Once you notice that they’re starting to slowly open up about what they’ve done, listen attentively and nod.
Let them finish talking.
The less harsher you react, the more inclined your partner will feel to tell you the whole story and not leave anything out—and this is what we need.
By being understanding and letting your s.o. finish their sentences, you’ll get even more information and have a better idea of what the next step for your relationship is.
3. Claim that you know about what’s been going on.
Claiming that you know your partner is cheating is a pretty standard method, but it could backfire if they’re innocent!
It’s quite simple: with a straight face and a serious tone, tell your partner that you know about what they’ve been doing.
“I know that you’ve been cheating on me. I’m distraught. Were you ever going to tell me, or?”
Yes, you would be bluffing! However, your partner might break down and admit they’ve been unfaithful.
To them, you apparently know about everything, so what’s the point in continuing the charade?
Keep in mind though that even when being told this, some cheaters deny all accusations—to make matters worse, they might see through your bluff!
4. Casually ask them tricky questions related to cheating and see how they react.
ConfroIt’s human nature to avoid everything that makes them uncomfortable!
If lying cheaters have to deal with a situation having to do with cheating, they will show physical and psychological signs of discomfort.
For example:
You are telling your cheating partner about a celebrity who cheated on their spouse and expressing your negative opinion about the celebrity and cheating as a concept. You go ahead and ask your partner about their input.
Depending, your partner will:
- Attempt to change the subject;
- Will be shocked by the question;
- Not use “I” statements to distance themselves from the topic as much as possible;
- Question why you’re asking for their opinion;
- Get flustered;
- Leave the room;
- Have unusually strong opinions (or none at all);
- Have weird eye contact pattern;
- Hopefully snap and admit they were cheating.
A partner giving up and admitting they did cheat is the ideal outcome, but very unlikely—unless they don’t do well under pressure, I don’t see them exposing themselves!
Regardless, the way your partner reacts when you bring up something they’re guilty of will give you a good idea if they’ve ever cheated, or not.
5. Whenever you know your partner is lying to you, have no reaction whatsoever.
Cheaters lie about different things: where they go out, who they’re talking to, what they’re doing, etc.
Those lies could even be the very reason why you started doubting them; when you’re sure that your partner is lying to you, have a minimal reaction.
Instead, look at them with a stern facial expression.
Because cheaters are in a constant state of anxiety, your lack of reaction and serious facial expression will trigger their fears.
Their fears being you finding out what they’ve done.
They might start aggressively asking you why you’re acting this way, or even give up and confess they’ve been cheating.
6. Have them admit they cheated out of jealousy.
Another very toxic method: make your partner feel jealous.
There are people whose jealousy pushes them to out themselves; if your partner thinks you’re cheating too, they might just admit it out of spite.
This is where you can catch them.
Pretend to get close to your friend of the opposite gender (while letting them know what your plan is) and casually drop the hints.
For example, have your friend text you something that may be perceived as flirty, and ask your partner if they could get you your phone!
This way, your partner will see the text and most likely grill you with questions; one thing will lead to another, and your partner might admit that they don’t care you’re cheating since they’ve been doing the same!
7. Treat your partner very, very well—spoil them, basically!
It goes without saying that you should treat your significant other well!
But what I’m talking about here is guilt-tripping the potential cheater to the point they have no choice but to reveal the fact they’ve cheated.
Of course this method doesn’t work with all people, but there’s no harm in trying!
Frequently overly-compliment your partner, tell them how much you love them and how you’re grateful you are for them.
Spoil them with gifts, nice dates, and other gestures they’d appreciate—all of this will make them wonder if what they’re doing is wrong.
They’ll feel guilty for doing this behind your back and admit cheating on you—again, it’s not guaranteed that they’ll feel remorse!
8. Tell the cheater you’re serious about them and want to take a big, next step.
This will freak a cheating player out!
Tell your partner that you want to take your relationship to the next level—once again, notice their reactions.
If they’re not serious enough about the relationship, they will be against the idea of moving this quickly!
And if they’re being unfaithful, they may own up to the fact in order to change your mind and explain why the next step isn’t a good idea.
We’re once again hoping that their conscience urges them to tell the truth!
9. Check if their excuses are true, or at least make them think you checked!
If there’s one thing cheaters are good at, it’s making excuses.
They tell you they’re going out with a cousin, when in reality, they’re going out with an affair partner.
They think they’re slick, but what they don’t know is that it takes a simple text to the “cousin” to crack their story!
But if you don’t want to awkwardly ask their relatives this, simply tell your partner that you did it (even if you actually didn’t).
“Hey, something weird happened. I asked your cousin if you had fun last night but he said you two never met up. Care to explain?”
Your partner will panic and try to look for any excuse they can and this is a huge sign they went out with someone else.
They may also just admit what they were doing since they believe they already got caught.
10. Recap their story to them but purposely get some details wrong.
Because of the many lies unfaithful people tell their partners to hide the fact they cheat, having their story told back to them will confuse them.
That’s because they lose track of what they have and haven’t said.
For example, if your partner tells you they went to the cinema with their two friends to watch a specific movie, recap the story.
Intentionally ask something like this:
“Did you like [completely different movie title]?” “That’s fun! How is [different friend name] doing?
If your partner lied about going out with their friends to watch a movie, they won’t notice you got a few of the details wrong.
And when a partner lies about something like this, they’re usually trying to conceal unfaithfulness.
11. Or as an alternative, ask them to re-tell their story from the beginning!
If they lied, they wouldn’t be able to.
Innocently ask your partner to tell their story from the beginning—pretend as if you weren’t listening.
If they add new details or remove ones from their previous story, then there’s a chance that they lied about what they were doing!
Since lies don’t stick to memory as much as actual happenings do, your partner would have already forgotten what they initially said.
12. Don’t say everything you know, instead, let them “breadcrumb” you the truth.
If you’re confronting a cheater, don’t immediately put all of your cards on the table—let your partner fill in the blanks instead.
Don’t assume you know everything right off the bat, let your partner do most of the talking.
They’ll take the opportunity to open up about important stuff.
You can start off with something simple like, “Every night you’ve been going out, you’ve been seeing [affair partner]?”.
They’ll deny/confirm it and gradually give you the whole story—it’s going to be hard to hear, but it’s necessary.
13. The best way to make them admit it is by catching the cheater in the act.
Not a lot of people have the audacity to deny having cheated when they get caught red-handed!
So if we look at this whole situation in a realistic light, we need to catch a cheater in the act for them to finally confess.
They lie even while being shown the most concrete proof, but being walked in on will finally make them tell you the true story.
- Go where they don’t expect you;
- Check your partner’s phone;
- Pretend something has you busy and you won’t be home until way later (come back as usual, if not earlier);
- Follow your partner;
- Have a friend your partner doesn’t know flirt with them.
You can also search them online and have proof they’re cheating online. You can do that by looking them up on dating sites. Here:
These are some methods to help you catch a cheater—once you catch them, your partner won’t have any other choice but to confess everything.
And even if they don’t, you at least know for a fact they’re cheating.
What to do when your partner denies cheating?
It is frustrating having a cheater deny having done something you know for a fact they did.
If this is what’s going on, show your partner all the evidence you have that proves they’re cheating—they surely wouldn’t bother denying it anymore!
Show them that you’re not playing any games; be serious yet understanding about the whole situation.
Keep your cool, don’t have an accusatory tone, and show your partner that opening up is okay.
Definitely not what a heartbroken person wants to do, but it will help you get the truth out of your significant other.