Long-distance relationships are the new wave, and we wouldn’t have it any other way—this has made dating easier and more bountiful!
However, as opposed to only meeting someone online, maintaining a long-distance relationship is not hassle-free at all.
Cheating, for instance, is a problem with long-distance couples, and finding out if you’re being cheated on online is quite difficult.
– Is cheating common among long-distance lovers?
Yes, it is. Granted, though, cheating is common with partners who live together as well—I’ll explain why in a minute!
Dr. Dana McNeil chimes in to say that people’s reason for wanting a relationship in the first place is to have someone close to them.
Many people who are dating someone long-distance tend to think that, since their partner has no way of finding out, their actions are no big deal.
It is a big deal.
– Why are long-distance relationships more prone to cheating?
There is no denying it: the physical connection in a relationship is just as important as the emotional one.
Coincidentally, long-distance connections lack just that, which pushes one (or even both) person to cheat on their significant other.
That’s without a doubt one of the main reasons, however, a couple may experience infidelity due to challenges that occur uniquely to LDRs, like:
- An insecurity that your partner might be seeing someone else;
- Overbearing jealousy;
- Two people drifting away because of life;
- Two people giving up due to LDRs being difficult to maintain;
- A lack of physical presence, etc.
The people who have been in a long-distance relationship get just how hard and painful it is to spend your days worrying about a significant other.
Specifically worrying about them cheating, which as we established, happens often with distant couples.
If you’re concerned that your long-distance partner is ruining your relationship by cheating, these signs seal the deal:
1. Your partner is not online as often.
Distant couples spend an excessive amount of time on their phones because that’s the only way they can communicate.
If your s.o. has gradually decreased their time online, it could mean that somebody offline has their attention.
In all fairness, though, they might be busy as well! Regardless, if your gut is telling you they’re cheating, don’t just dismiss it.
2. They’ve been calling and messaging you significantly less.
Can I ask you something real quick? Has it been a while since your partner changed their texting and calling habits?
Say, has it become rare for them to maintain regular contact?
Communication is all you two have, and if your partner isn’t giving it to you, something might not be right.
A lack of communication is an evident sign of cheating.
3. Monotonous conversations are a sign of LDR cheating.
Next, we will look at the quality of the conversation, rather than the quantity—are your partner’s replies extremely dry and short?
E.g. they don’t bother switching up to something more interesting and end up talking about the same things over and over again:
“How are you?”, or “What did you do today?”—asking such questions a few times is normal, but leaving it at that? It’s concerning, to say the least.
4. Your partner’s replies are dry.
Not showing any care in regards to how they respond is a bad sign.
- If their texts are dry, scarce, and boring, your s.o. might be cheating and acting that way due to guilt or unwillingness to fix things.
“OK.”, “Cool.”, “What’s up?”, “Lol.”, etc., are nothing to be concerned about once in a while, but an extreme amount of dry replies could be the result of cheating.
5. They delay their replies.
Your partner not texting you at all is, of course, less than desirable in an LDR—see if you can detect a delay in their responses as well.
An example would be you texting them something and them taking hours or even days to respond or disappearing in the middle of the conversation.
6. No more cute, spontaneous texts and calls!
Having been in an LDR, you know just how appreciated random bursts of affection on your partner’s end are.
The random, “I miss you so much and can’t wait to meet you again!” texts keep the relationship going, so if your partner has stopped being spontaneous, that’s not good news.
- A cheater won’t text and call you randomly throughout the day to tell you something reminded them of you or that they love you.
7. Your partner is letting significant dates slip their mind.
You don’t have to be physically present to be there for someone; a call suffices in telling your significant other that you care about them.
Another sign of LDR cheating is the tendency to forget important dates (anniversaries, birthdays, etc.) on top of everything else.
8. They actively ignore you.
Before, they would jump at the opportunity to talk to you, but now, not so much—ignoring your calls and texts is a sign of unfaithfulness.
It’s not a matter of being busy and not able to pick up your calls, though; it’s concerning only if your partner is online and free but ignores you.
9. Your partner sounds unenthusiastic.
If their whole demeanor is unenthusiastic while talking to you, your partner could be seeing someone else among other reasons.
- They don’t behave affectionately, crack jokes, call you randomly, take an interest in your life and well-being, etc.
Just compare your partner’s recent and past behavior—if you have a feeling they’re betraying you, don’t ignore it as this could be the case.
10. They stopped talking about wanting to meet up with you.
If you and your partner don’t live that far from each other, they might have stopped visiting you during holidays and time off.
From another perspective, if you two live far away and stop making plans about visiting each other, they might be getting close to another person.
11. They don’t open up on an emotional level anymore.
Heavy emphasis on the word “anymore” here because noticing such differences is essential in catching cheaters!
This means that you and your partner’s conversations are very surface-level and never get emotional like before (these talks help a couple grow stronger).
They don’t share secrets, vent, and encourage you to do the same thing.
12. They have turned into a secretive person!
Your partner keeps secrets left and right, especially about the people in their life.
You might have seen a stranger’s comment under their photo on social media and asked them who they were but your partner started acting weird.
Other forms of secrets include them not telling you what they did the whole day, who they were with, why they didn’t text you back, etc..
13. Their new schedule is making them communicate less.
Your s.o. claims they’re too busy to send you a quick, 3-second text yet you see them online on social media (or their activity status is off).
And meanwhile it could be that they suddenly got too busy, you have to remind yourself of the fact that people always find time for the people they love.
“I’m busy.” is often used as an excuse by cheaters—in hindsight, can a person truly be busy 24 hours straight, every day?
14. They’re grumpy all the time.
Cheaters tend to be very moody while talking to their partners because they feel guilty for doing what they’re doing.
That’s called cheater guilt and actually perfectly explains why your partner might be feeling irritable lately.
Another way cheater guilt manifests is by deflecting the situation: you voice out your concerns about your partner, and as a response, they get angry and blame you for being too controlling.
15. New social media activity.
Your partner is staying significantly less or more on social media platforms but not talking to you at all.
What’s even more worrisome is their flirty interactions with strangers online!
They’re constantly friending new people, staying up late, and liking/commenting on suspicious people’s posts.
16. They don’t hear you out on your concerns or try to fix things.
It’s typical for a cheater to lash out at their partner for calling them out on their behavior, even though it’s reasonable for the partner to do that.
I’m assuming you have tried talking to your partner about how they’re acting—if so, did they snap at you?
If not that, did they try guilt-tipping you for being too “overbearing” or brushing off your concerns?
Every single one of the scenarios I’ve mentioned is linked to cheating behavior.
17. They keep insinuating you’re both better off breaking up.
One of the most unfair ways to break the news to your partner is, in my opinion, manipulating them into ending the relationship first.
This tactic is quite popular: a cheater wants to break up with their s.o., and instead of being honest, they keep mentioning the word “breakup” every chance they get.
Your partner might be talking to you occasionally about how tiresome being in an LDR is or asking you if you’re content with the relationship.
Alternatively, whenever you and your partner get into an argument, they’re really quick to say something like, “We should just break up!”.
– What to do if you suspect your LDR partner is cheating?
We need to confirm if our intuition is correct or not by attempting to catch the cheater in question.
You can do this by:
1. Seeing if they use dating sites with the help of SwindlerBuster.
Distant partners may have an easier time hiding the fact they’re on Tinder, which is why confirming their profile is essential.
You can use SwindlerBuster to find out—type in your partner’s first name or phone number, age, and gender!
2. Having one of your friends text your partner.
Have a friend your long-distance partner doesn’t know text and flirt with them—if your partner flirts back, they are a cheater.
3. Voicing your worries.
If your partner is acting in a way that makes you uncomfortable (e.g. delaying their replies), confront them calmly.
In the best-case scenario, your partner doesn’t realize they were doing it and offers to correct their behavior.
In the worst-case scenario, they are cheating and act very harshly as a result (e.g. get aggressive or defensive)—you’ll be able to tell!
– What is the success rate of long-distance relationships?
A survey of 1000 people by Kiiroo shows that LDRs have a 58% success rate and that the 4-month mark was the most rocky point of a long-distance relationship.
Half of the number of respondents claimed that spending time apart helped them and their partner get closer.
Give or take, a lot of LDRs end up in success, but that depends on the people: if they want to make it work, they’ll give it their all.
7 tips for maintaining a long-distance relationship — enhancing your LDR!
We’re often told long-distance couples don’t make it, however, a couple is more than able to spice up their relationship even with minimal contact!
One thing we must admit, though: the lack of physicality pushes LDR couples to try harder to maintain their connection.
Feel closer to one another, shorten the distance, and spice things up—this is how you navigate a long-distance relationship:
1. If possible, visit each other from time to time.
I know it’s not that easy, but if you and your partner live only hours away from each other, don’t skip out on your weekly or monthly visits.
- Or days off.
It will be tiring, and you might think to yourself, “I won’t go today, my partner can wait.”, but if seeing each other from time to time is an option, use it to your advantage!
2. Have fun, virtual dates together.
The advancement of technology has made it possible for people to have virtual dates together and have fun!
You and your long-distance partner can:
- Watch movies together while one of you streams them (this can be done through platforms like Teleparty and Rave);
- Play multiplayer games together;
- Call each other;
- Video chat, and plenty more.
It may not beat the real thing in your eyes, but it will help you and your partner get closer to each other and not miss one another as much.
3. Make spontaneity a part of your routine.
Send each other cute texts at random times to keep the element of surprise present in your relationship.
Don’t do everything according to schedule, in other words.
- Whenever you see something that reminds you of your partner, shoot them a text; whenever you start missing them, make a call!
4. Don’t forget humor.
Humor ranks among the most attractive traits in a person, besides, it will help you and your distant partner’s bond.
- Funny videos;
- Jokes—but only if the timing is appropriate.
5. Send periodic, thoughtful gifts to each other.
Sending gifts to different cities or even countries is a great idea for long-distance couples to show they appreciate each other.
It will close the distance between two people even if by a little bit and give them something they can hold onto when they miss each other too much.
6. Don’t let your sexual connection die out either!
Emotional and sexual aspects are two very important in a relationship, and since maintaining an emotional relationship can be achieved virtually, let’s focus a bit on physicality.
There are ways for an LDR couple to preserve their sex life through sexting.
- This includes spicy texts, videos, and photos! But make sure your partner feels comfortable enough to do this.
7. Keep each other posted.
Being in a long-distance relationship is not for the faint of heart; people are consistently worrying about how their partners are and what they’re doing.
This brings us to the last tip: talk to each other.
Did you ace a very difficult exam? Did you and your best friend have a fight? Tell your significant other and welcome them in your life.
It might sound unlikely, but doing this will allow you two to not focus on your distance as much as before—turns out that communication really is key.
Final thoughts on long distance and cheating…
Cheating in long-distance relationships is sadly the case, and most people feel their affairs are justified due to not being able to see their partners.
Although I will admit that it takes strength to be a long-distance couple, cheating from a distance has the same, negative effect on the cheatee.
If a person feels as if their relationship is too much to handle, they should think about whether they want to stay together with their partner.