Texting is undoubtedly one of the most popular forms of communication.
It allows us to connect with people all around the world effortlessly and effectively.
Just one problem, though—with how private and discreet texting is, doesn’t it also give cheaters opportunities?
Well, yes.
A lot of people consider texting to be a form of cheating—and rightfully so!
Certain situations and circumstances make a partner look all the more suspicious and tell us they’re being unfaithful.
Let’s talk about 15 situations in which texting is considered cheating!
– But, what even is cheating, to begin with?
As we all know, cheating is being unfaithful to a partner—simple as that.
Cheating is also an act that crosses a partner’s boundaries and results in the loss of trust in a relationship.
Meaning, that cheating is what we make it to be; anything a partner does that hurts us is considered cheating.
Every person has their idea of what they view as cheating, so really, anything—or nothing—goes.
1. Sexting.
Texting people sexually has become such a recurring phenomenon, it’s probably one of the most common ways people cheat through text.
If someone who’s in a relationship is sexting another person, that’s considered cheating, without a doubt.
What they’re doing is disrespecting their partner and breaking their trust.
Physical or not, it doesn’t matter.
Texting someone sexually and sending lewd content is highly inappropriate and unfaithful.
Looking at someone with lust in our eyes and vice versa isn’t something to be excused, no matter how much we protest.
2. Flirting with someone through text is cheating.
Yes, flirty texting someone is considered cheating.
A person who flirts with another person over text is behaving inappropriately and intimately.
This includes:
- Compliments;
- “What if” sexy scenarios;
- Teasing each other;
- Making sexual jokes;
- Playfighting, etc.
Behavior like this allows a person—who isn’t our partner—to assume we’re into them; they are going to see this as a green light.
Also, it makes them believe we’re single and putting ourselves out there, which we’re not; we’re in a committed relationship.
It’s all about giving the other person the wrong idea.
3. Texting an ex while never getting over them.
If you’re wondering “Is texting an ex cheating?”
The answer is going to be yes.
Especially if it’s an ex we still have feelings for; it makes a partner feel very uneasy and insecure knowing we’re still in contact with our exes.
And I think that’s more than justified—no person wants to see the love of their life text someone they used to be intimate with.
It should be more normalized to put ourselves in other people’s shoes!
In my experience, whenever a person keeps contact with a past partner, it’s because they are either a notorious cheater, or never stopped loving them.
That, of course, excludes cases where the contact is conditioned by external factors such as jobs, kids, property, etc.
4. Forming an emotional bond while texting.
Amongst the many types of cheating, emotional cheating is one of the most common and brutal ones.
It means getting emotionally close to someone who isn’t your partner, and to some, that means a lot.
If we’re texting someone (not our partner) and noticing that we’re getting somehow attached to them, that’s a sign to immediately stop.
A partner should be the only person who sees that side of ours—not a friend, a co-worker, an ex, a stranger, etc.
To some, getting emotionally cheated on leaves a bigger scar than imaginable.
It’s deeper and more heartfelt; something that takes a lot of time for people to truly recover from.
5. Texting someone you’re emotionally, romantically, or sexually attracted to.
Another very common form of text cheating: talking to someone you’re attracted to.
It’s fairly normal to recognize other people’s attractiveness while being in a relationship, but acting upon those thoughts is a whole different story.
Allowing temptations to get the better of us never leads to anything good.
Even if we think to ourselves, “Oh, I just want to get to know this person. I won’t do anything!”
Some things just can’t be helped; we sometimes unintentionally create space for another person to come into our lives.
We’re crossing our partner’s boundaries by having expectations for another person.
6. Texting someone on dating sites or apps.
Yes, using dating sites while in a relationship is cheating. Especially if you interact with people there.
Texting is cheating in this case.
Dating apps aren’t typically used for platonic relationships, hence interacting with another person through dating apps automatically indicates unfaithfulness.
All it takes is one search to know if your partner is using dating sites!
7. A partner has expressed their discomfort about the whole situation.
As I mentioned earlier, anything that crosses your boundaries is considered cheating.
If our partner constantly does something hurtful, yet never stops despite our protests, it’s safe to assume they’re overstepping boundaries.
This commonly happens in relationships—somebody continues texting others even though their partner isn’t okay with it.
Not only that, their partner has also been vocal about their discomfort.
If you continue texting someone even though you know your partner isn’t okay with it, that’s, on some level, cheating.
A process in which trust is continuously being broken and boundaries are being crossed.
If we were to do that, we would hurt our s.o. while also being inconsiderate towards them and their wishes.
Not only that, but the fact that a person is so set on texting someone to the point that not even their partner can stop them, speaks volumes.
8. Texting someone because you want them to notice you.
Let’s be honest—there is no reason for a person who’s in a relationship to be texting someone, let alone for attention.
Texting someone because you want them to notice you are not a sign of loyalty, not to mention it’s disrespectful.
DM-ing someone because you want to establish a connection with them and attract their attention is seen as cheating.
It might start with a simple text, a seemingly harmless comment, or anything intended to catch their attention.
Chances are, you like them and are hoping to get to know them—aka cheating.
From then on, one thing leads to another, and space for intimacy is created.
9. Texting someone is a one-time thing because you’re bored.
Inappropriately texting someone just because you’re bored is indeed cheating!
To some people, texting someone as a one-time thing just for the heck of it is no big deal.
However, it is.
The fact that a person is willing to put their relationship in jeopardy just because they’re bored tells us a lot.
Even “innocent” and one-time flirting has the power to wreck the relationship and your partner’s trust.
And that’s what we need to focus on.
Cheating is considered cheating, no matter how many times it’s done.
10. Continuously texting someone who’s into you!
Another way of cheating that is often overlooked is entertaining other people who have made it known they’re into you!
Picture this:
There’s a person who likes your partner; they always flirt and compliment them, yet your partner does nothing to stop it.
That’s a big red flag.
Constantly texting someone who likes you will alarm your partner and make them feel uneasy and for a good reason.
Feeling threatened in situations like these is completely normal.
Nobody wants another person around their partner all the time, especially a person who’s expressed their interest.
And if we, as partners, do nothing to stop that person, we’re behaving in an unfaithful way.
11. Noticing yourself developing feelings for the person you’re texting.
“One thing leads to another.” because that’s what happens in situations like these.
Constantly texting someone who isn’t your partner leaves space for feelings and intimacy to be created.
One thing leads to another, and before we know it, we’re developing feelings for the other person.
And when we’re interested in someone, we’re going to act the part.
And people know this—our partners know this.
That’s why texting another woman or man is considered cheating.
If we notice ourselves catching feelings for someone we’re texting, we must keep ourselves in check.
Developing feelings for someone although we’re in a relationship with somebody else is a cue to either stop or re-evaluate the relationship.
12. Lying about texting a specific person.
If a person feels the need to lie about texting another person, I’m 100% sure they know they shouldn’t be doing it.
Lies are a telltale sign that cheaters usually exhibit; they lie because they want to cover wrongdoing up.
If, say, a man is texting another woman while married and says he doesn’t, that’s cheating. To me, and most of you reading this.
There are 2 possible reasons why he could’ve lied:
1) He’s cheating on his wife with the other woman;
2) Or he knows his wife wouldn’t be okay with it.
Both are very valid assumptions; feeling the need to lie about something is a sign that you shouldn’t be doing that thing in the first place.
This, again, brings us to our definition of cheating.
13. Constantly texting someone and going above and beyond while doing so.
Doing everything we can just to stay in touch with someone is a big, red flag and deserves to be given a long thought.
If a person goes above and beyond to text someone, regardless of circumstances, that’s considered cheating.
That means that no one and nothing can come in their and the other person’s way—not even a partner.
Constantly wanting to text someone no matter the circumstances (e.g. busy, tired, unable, etc) is a sign that we’re harboring bigger feelings than usual.
The one and only person whose attention and time we’re supposed to seek is our partner.
Any other person is ground for suspicion.
14. Deleting messages is also cheating.
If we look at it from a different angle: if we feel the need to delete messages, it means they shouldn’t have been sent in the first place.
And that’s because we know we’re doing something we’re not supposed to be doing.
Sending suspicious and inappropriate texts to people while being in a committed relationship is cheating—without a doubt.
Not wanting your partner to see who you’re texting with, and what messages are being exchanged is very concerning.
That’s because the partner knows you’re deleting the messages for a reason, and not a good one.
In this case, you’re hiding stuff from them and making them feel uncomfortable and suspicious.
Because two people in a relationship are supposed to share everything, deleting messages isn’t the way to go.
15. Texting someone hoping to get together with them.
If your texts have any other intentions aside from friendly or appropriate ones, then that too is considered cheating.
If, say, we’re texting someone because we like and intend to woo them, we are being disrespectful and unfaithful to our partner.
In this case, we’re contacting them only because we want to form a relationship with them, or even worse, a one-night stand.
At the end of the day, it boils down to what our intentions are: are they pure, or are they malicious?
Texting someone who isn’t your partner because you’re hoping to get something out of them is unfair to both them and your s.o.!
We’re breaking our partner’s trust and doing something behind their back—pure cheating.
How to tell if someone is cheating over text?
We give and give in a relationship, and finding out that the other person has been repeatedly disrespecting us is heartbreaking.
Cheaters tend to be careful, however, their guilt manifests itself through their behavior.
Let’s take a look at the smart ways to tell if a partner is cheating over text.
– They’ve become a bit too secretive with their phone.
If a partner has shown signs of increased secrecy with their electronics, that’s grounds for suspicion.
It tells us that they’re—potentially—hiding something from us.
- Sudden locked socials/electronics;
- Refusing to let you use their electronics;
- Feeling anxious whenever you have their phone or pc, and many more, are all potential signs that a partner is cheating through text.
You just can’t seem to sneak a peek at what he’s doing and whom he’s texting.
– Your partner is always deleting their messages and conversations.
Another telltale sign of text cheating is a partner deleting their text messages.
As we know, some social media platforms allow us to delete text messages and conversations, but on the other hand, we’re also shown that they’ve been deleted.
This is suspicious behavior.
– They never stop texting someone, regardless of your feelings.
If a partner has always been vocal about the discomfort they feel regarding a person we’ve been texting, our first instinct is to stop texting that person, right?
Well, if that’s not the case with your partner, then I don’t blame you for doubting their loyalty.
Whether it be a “friend”, a co-worker, a stranger, or—even worse—an ex, if you feel uncomfortable with their constant contact, they should stop.
And by not stopping, they’re telling us that we have every right to suspect their behavior and intentions.
No person is worth putting a relationship into jeopardy, and if they are, we need to take a step back and reassess the said relationship.
– Their behavior is odd.
If your partner has been exhibiting odd online behavior recently, it could be because they’re texting someone they’re not supposed to.
I’m talking about:
- Strangers are always being added to their friend lists;
- Increased screen-time;
- Always being in a better mood while being on their phone;
- Acting distant and unaffectionate;
- Their friends always being uncomfortable;
- Lack of emotional and physical contact, etc.
– The toxic way: going through your partner’s phone.
This is another (controversial) method of finding out if your partner is cheating over text, but it’s not recommended.
It’s very toxic and an invasion of privacy.
But yes, going through a partner’s phone could help us find out whether they’re cheating or not.
That means checking their apps, their contacts, their messages, etc.
However, because of this method’s nature, being found out could spark an argument between a couple.
It is an invasion of privacy, after all, and if the person is innocent, they’re going to feel hurt.
– You found them on dating apps.
A partner in a relationship using dating sites is a major red flag.
If not in person, they, at the very least, are cheating on you through text if they’re active on dating sites.
There are plenty of ways to find out the truth, and some of them include using Swindlerbuster or Google to make a quick search!
– Text your partner on a pseudo account.
Another pretty toxic method.
You can test your partner’s loyalty by texting them on a pseudo or friend’s account!
You can start by getting to know them, and slowly working your way to flirting while observing their reaction and response.
If they turn down your advances or don’t respond at all—that’s a good sign!
However, if he plays along and even takes things further, chances are that he’s done it with other people he’s texted as well.
Micro-cheating texting examples to look out for!
“Micro-cheating” refers to seemingly small, inappropriate acts with another person, outside the relationship.
I would say that micro-cheating is one of the most common forms of cheating while texting—it’s the most convenient one.
Because some people pay little to no attention to the things they do and say, they don’t care about micro, trivial acts that could potentially make their partner feel uneasy.
We also sometimes let actions of the micro-cheating slide and excuse it because they’re not a “big deal”.
But they are a big deal and could lead to something much bigger.
Examples of micro-cheating portrayed in texting are:
- Flirting;
- Overly-complimenting;
- A person purposely not mentioning the fact that they’re in a relationship;
- Bringing up different hypothetical scenarios that involve sex and romance;
- Talking in an inappropriate amount and way;
- Interacting with their social media posts;
- Talking about sexual topics;
- Always keeping up with someone;
- Creating an emotional connection;
- Talking to an ex, and more.
Are there moments when texting another person is acceptable?
Yes, there are!
As long as a partner remains appropriate and respectful, it’s okay to text another person!
Also, if a partner texts someone purely out of responsibility (e.g. work, custody of children, studies, etc), that’s also okay.
Texting friends they’ve known forever who also know and met you is usually excusable too.
At the end of the day…
Simply talking to a person of the opposite sex is considered cheating to some people—and that’s okay.
To some, that may sound too harsh or even unreasonable, however, everybody has a set of boundaries that should never be crossed.
If your boundaries include a partner not texting anyone suspicious, you’re not alone.
And if somebody is willing to risk losing you over that, then that in itself makes things pretty clear in my book.