We’ve all been worried at least once about a partner not being entirely faithful to us. It’s a feeling that drives us crazy.
You’d think someone who decided to get married and commit to their spouse would stay clear of such things, but, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Most people just know something’s wrong; they can feel it in their gut that their spouse is cheating on them.
What do you do in this situation?
If you think your husband is being unfaithful, analyze his behavior.
One of the most reliable ways to know for sure is by analyzing his behavior; all cheaters let on eventually.
What you need to be looking out for are changes in behavior—emotional and physical—which he should be exhibiting right about now.
To name some:
- An increase or decrease in his sex life with you;
- Emotional distance;
- Staying out late;
- Having taken a sudden interest in self-care and appearance;
- Frequent time away from home for days at a time;
- Hopping in the shower as soon as he comes home;
- Random, angry outbursts and the lack of will to resolve them;
- Strange transactions;
- Secrecy regarding his phone and PC;
- Mentioning a suspicious person too often.
Not all cheaters are uniform in the sense that they all conceal their affairs in different ways—but these are the most common signs.
What to do if your husband is cheating? Catching him in the act!
If you’re certain that your husband is cheating, don’t let him manipulate you into feeling ashamed of your suspicions.
He wouldn’t be much of a cheater if he admitted it, right?
Maybe he has a reputation for cheating in the past, or maybe he’s adopted new, suspicious behavior that’s contributing to your worries.
Want to shoo your worries away? These are the most reliable methods of catching a cheating husband:
1. Think he’s online cheating? Use SwindlerBuster to find his Tinder profile.
If you’ve ever been on Tinder, you know just how big the number of users who are already in a committed relationship is.
As opposed to Hinge, Tinder is the place people go to when they want casual relationships, so if your husband is online cheating, that’d be his first choice.
You can enter his name, phone number, or picture on SwindlerBuster; if an account responding to the info you’ve provided exists, you will find it in a jiffy.
2. Set him up by creating a fake social media profile.
Habitual cheaters can’t help entertaining multiple people at a time, even strangers online. If your husband is this type, I have a little trick:
Make a fake social media account and reach out to your husband pretending to be looking for some company.
Choose photos that can’t be reverse-searched or use a friend’s—someone he doesn’t know—and pick a random name.
Text him on his social media accounts and flirt with him a little bit, pretending to have accidentally stumbled across his profile and taken an interest in him
But if you think he’s cheating on Snapchat, keep in mind that he’ll know you added him by search!
3. Pretend to go away for the weekend.
If he is cheating, he’ll use this opportunity to invite his lover over.
Tell him you’re visiting family or going on a work trip so that he knows he doesn’t have to worry about you returning home for a while!
Instead of actually leaving, stay over at a friend’s or in your car nearby…not the coziest solution, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
And if he has the galls to bring his affair partner over, you can pull a “Here’s Johnny!” classic moment.
4. Tell him you’re going through his phone.
“But why not just go through his phone?”—I have an idea, so please bear with me.
When you tell your husband in advance that you’ll be checking his phone, he will panic, which will make him lash out at you or refuse at all costs.
That in itself is proof that he’s cheating, because why is he THAT against letting you check his phone a little bit?
Next, if he does accept, he’ll be deleting everything out of panic: his browsing history, chats, call logs, etc., and he’ll be outing himself.
5. Pinch his phone real quick and start investigating.
- Read his current and deleted chats.
Check all of his social media/default messaging apps, and also check his deleted texts (they’re located under Edit on iPhone’s Messages App, and under the three-dotted menu at the top right on Samsung Messages.)
- Check his media files.
Launch the Photos App to see if he’s saved any steamy photos—don’t forget to check the Deleted and Hidden folders.
- See his saved passwords on Google.
If you go to your husband’s Google Account, Settings, and then to Autofill and Passwords, you’ll find out if they’re visiting any raunchy sites.
- Go to his list of all downloaded apps.
You can access his list in the Apps section of his phone’s Settings; to see deleted apps on iPhone, go to the App Store > his profile > Purchased
As for Samsung, Google Play Store > his profile > Manage Apps and Devices.
- Check the Google Maps App.
You’ll see his location history if he uses it.
- Read his emails.
Email apps, such as Gmail, are surprisingly popular amongst cheaters due to their discreet nature, so don’t skip them.
Check Sent and Deleted emails for good measures too.
- Look through his contacts.
You’ll never know who you might find!
- Access his Wi-Fi History.
On iPhone, you can view this by going to Settings > Wi-Fi > Edit
As for Samsung, go to Settings > Connections > Wi-Fi > three-dotted menu > Advanced > Manage Networks.
Has he been connected to that suspicious co-worker’s home Wi-Fi?
6. Enable the “Auto-Answer Calls” feature on his iPhone.
Catching a cheating spouse on an iPhone is relatively easy once you’re aware of the many sly features Apple has implemented.
Auto-Answer Calls is the prime example, which enables calls to be automatically answered after a few seconds.
Go to Accessibility > Touch > Call Audio Routing > Auto-Answer Calls.
Set the times as low as possible on his phone, and enjoy never having your calls ignored while he’s with his lover again.
7. Get security cameras or GPS devices.
Not the best way to do it, but installing security cameras in your home and GPS devices in his car will increase the chances of you catching him.
Side note: wire his car only if you and he have joint ownership, or else you might get into legal trouble.
This method is a bit on the pricier side, though, $200 on average for a security camera system and over 10 bucks for an effective GPS tracker.
Whenever you’re away from home (the faux business trip I talked about earlier), you can catch him and his affair partner safely from a distance.
8. Pay him a surprise visit when he’s “working late” or out with his “friends”.
Using air quotes here because cheaters usually lie when they say they’re working late or going out with friends—this is how you’re going to bust them together.
I’m not saying that that’s what’s going to happen every time he says that, so just go with your gut.
If your gut is whispering to you “This is it. He’s meeting with them.” then show up when he least expects you to.
For instance, when he tells you he’s working late on an important project, pay him a surprise visit at work to see if he’s really there.
9. Leave stuff in his car and then pretend to not know whose it is.
Mistakes happen, right? Even between a cheater and an affair partner accidentally forgetting something in the cheater’s car.
But that’s not what we’re aiming for—we’re aiming for the cheater to reveal their own secret.
It goes like this: buy something small and random, like a necklace, and leave it inside your husband’s car. The next time you two are in his car, pretend to find that thing and ask him who it belongs to.
He’s probably innocent if he admits not knowing whose it is, but if he says it’s his or a relative’s, he lied out of sheer panic after thinking his AP left something behind.
10. Have your friend make a pass at him.
This method is not for the faint of heart, and it’s definitely too toxic to even try out, but it might work if your spouse has a wandering eye.
Ask a close friend of yours whom your husband has not physically seen to flirt with him online or offline, basically!
11. Inspect his clothes for strange smells and makeup marks.
There’s a good chance that his affair partner accidentally left some mark of theirs on your husband’s clothing:
- Lipstick smudges;
- Glitter, etc.
So the next time it’s your turn to do the laundry, take a quick peek at his clothes to see if you can find any evidence.
12. Check in with his friends.
If his friends have started acting awkward whenever you come to the scene, it’s most likely because they know he’s cheating.
We all know that.
But you can also use his friends to find out if he’s lying about going out with them.
If he tells you he’s hanging out with one specific friend, ring that friend up later and casually strike up a friendly conversation.
Ask how they’re doing, if they had fun, or what they did—if the friend is confused or gets details mixed up, that means your husband didn’t tell you the truth.
13. Psychological warfare: trick him into admitting he cheated.
There are multiple ways to trick a cheater into revealing themselves using simple psychology.
A personal favorite is repeating their story back to them but with slight changes:
If your husband told you he went out and ordered a specific food, after 30 come back and say something like “So, did you like [different dish]?”.
An innocent person would correct you on the spot, but a lying cheater wouldn’t even notice it—this happens because lies are harder to remember.
Is marital infidelity that common?
It is believed that 20% to 25% of marriages experience infidelity—20% of men vs. 13% of women confessed to cheating on their spouse, based on GSS.
Pretty big numbers, but let’s not forget that these are only the cases that have been reported.
We don’t need numbers to know that infidelity, in both married and non-married couples is staggering due to people’s inability to remain loyal.
If he still won’t admit it, despite you knowing for a fact…
Calmly approach him and reveal to him that you know he has been disrespecting your marriage—keep in mind that being calm is key.
Things might escalate if either of you act uncivil by shouting or dishing out insults, and you don’t want that if you’re trying to come up with a solution.
The next step is showing him your proof, something he absolutely can’t talk his way out of, such as:
- Photos of him with his lover;
- Used condoms;
- Lipstick on his collar, and so forth.
Don’t let him manipulate you; when he attempts to gaslight you or derail the conversation, put him in check.