Knowing if your boyfriend is cheating on you through text: 6 methods and 13 signs!


When a person is cheating, they have to let on in some way—the way they act, their habits, or even how they text.

So if you think your boyfriend is unloyal, rest assured! He won’t be able to keep his unfaithfulness on the down-low forever.

There are plenty of methods and signs that will help you expose his lies: you can pick what works best for you, him, and your relationship!

Let’s start off with some methods you can use to find out for sure that your s.o. is cheating through text.

1. Be sneaky and go through his phone!

Be sneaky and go through his phone

We were all thinking about it…

And before we proceed, yes, you can ask him to give you his phone—but if he’s really cheating, I doubt he would agree.

  • For this very toxic method, you will need to somehow access his phone!
  • If you are able to, you can go ahead and view his text messages and social media apps.

Don’t forget, this is a complete breach of your partner’s privacy.

If by any chance it turns out he’s innocent, he will have something to say about your spying on his phone without permission!

2. You can check his notifications while he’s not looking.

This is a less extreme version of the phone-checking method—still though, be careful so that you don’t get caught!

If your boyfriend has his notifications on (and I doubt he does), whenever he gets one, sneak a peek and see who it’s from.

See what they’ve been talking about and from then onwards, it’s up to you to decide if him texting this person is cheating.

Once you’re alone with his phone, quickly check after every ring (or go through his Notifications Center).

3. There’s a good chance he deleted his messages, so make sure to retrieve them!

Some cheaters like to think ahead and delete their texts to other people—if your boyfriend deletes them too, that’s a sign in itself.

You can check his deleted messages though, but only on the default messaging application on his OS.

  • For example, on iPhone, you can go to Messages (the app), click on Edit, and pick Show Recently Deleted.
  • On Android, go to the default Messages app, click on the three-dot menu, and tap on Recycle Bin.

Let’s just hope he hasn’t deleted them from here too!

4. Have a friend he’s never met and test his loyalty.

And keep in mind it has to be someone he doesn’t know you know!

  • Tell your friend about what has been going on between you two and ask her if she’d be down to test your partner’s loyalty by texting him.
  • But not just texting: she would need to pretty much flirt with him and assess whether he’s the type of person who entertains strangers.

Once things go according to plan and he does fall for it, there are a couple of things you must know!

If your boyfriend didn’t mind flirting with a stranger, it means that he’s most likely done it in the past;

And if he hasn’t, he quite literally just cheated in the present! What we learn from his behavior is that there’s a chance he might cheat again in the future.

5. You can see who he’s texting by installing spying apps on his phone.

Spying apps such as mSpy, Eyezy, and Spyera will help you achieve your goals.

It’s a pricier alternative to finding out if your significant other is texting other people, but it works wonders!

Once again, assuming that you’re able to get into your partner’s phone, all you need to do is install the apps after making an account.

After that, the apps are completely invisible and you’ll be able to see what your partner does on his phone:

  • The people he texts;
  • His search history;
  • His call logs;
  • His gallery, and much more.

But I don’t recommend this method—installing spyware on your partner’s phone is the epitome of toxicity, and in some places, doing this is illegal!

6. If you’re looking for a healthier alternative, consider having a talk with your boyfriend!

If you’re looking for a healthier alternative, consider having a talk with your boyfriend

I doubt many people will take this advice, but it’s honestly the only fair and healthy one!

Yes, it’s likely that your partner will lie and say he hasn’t been doing anything, and yes it’s possible that he’ll throw a fit about it.

I know so far this method doesn’t sound too appealing, but give it a thought!

Talking things out will do you and your partner well: it’s a healthy problem-solving system that will prevent both of you from jumping to conclusions in the future.

And even if your partner ends up lying, at least you made the right decision by being honest and upfront about your suspicions.

You can find out if your boyfriend is cheating through text—you should keep an eye out for these 13 signs:

The saddest part about text cheating is that it happens often and it’s really easy to hide—and their justification? “It’s no big deal. It’s just texting!”.

Well, it is a big deal, and it can lead to something much bigger than sexting a stranger online; people communicate and set up dates with their lovers.

So, you can pretty much see the flexibility that texting offers to cheaters!

It doesn’t matter if your man is texting other women or using texting as a bridge to have hook-ups—with these signs, you’ll know what he’s doing on his phone:

– He unintentionally calls you a different name.

Alright, doing this once or twice is no biggie—it’s an honest mistake.

It gets worrying when it happens regularly!

If it happens very frequently for your boyfriend to call you another woman’s name (usually the same one), he most likely texts that woman often.

He’s not making this huge mistake intentionally: his autocorrect switches your names up!

And while we’re on the topic, know that two people have to talk to each other quite often for this to happen.

– He sends and receives a lot of coded messages.

When cheaters don’t want to risk it all by saying “ I want you.” to another person in the open, they use codes instead.

I’m talking about indecipherable, short sentences that look like they should be read between the lines.

Let’s take an example!

Instead of texting her “Let’s meet up at x time, x location for a coffee?”, he might only say “X time?”, or “Same place?”.

He might avoid full sentences or any other word that might be perceived as flirty.

Cheaters typically use sexual emojis to communicate as well—acronyms aren’t that uncommon either (such as ASL, which stands for Age/Sex/Location).

– He doesn’t respond to your texts as quickly as he once did!

He doesn’t respond to your texts as quickly as he once did

Nobody enjoys waiting for a reply from their significant other, and that’s for a very good reason—a constant delay represents bad things in a relationship.

If your boyfriend is visibly online but taking way too long to text you back, then he could be texting somebody else.

But this is only assuming that he’s not busy!

Moving on: if he has stopped responding promptly to your calls and messages, know that this is a bad sign (and a person who can’t focus on two people at the same time)!

– Or he plainly ignores your texts.

Forget delaying them—if your boyfriend doesn’t even bother texting you back, then that’s usually a telling sign he’s cheating!

Think of the last time your partner, the love of your life texted you and you thought to yourself, “Oh, I don’t feel like replying to them.”

I’ll bet that almost never happens, and if it does, it was because you were: a) busy, b) not in the mood, or c) angry with them!

However, if your boyfriend pretty much never messages you back, then it sounds like he might have another person occupying his attention.

– Through text, he sounds like the last thing he wants to be doing right now is to text you.

He just sounds so uninterested and dull, as if he’s fulfilling an obligation by replying to your messages.

Keep in mind that this is atypical—I mean, whenever a partner of mine I really liked used to text me back, I would jump with joy!

And I’m sure it’s the same with other people.

On the contrary, someone who is not loyal or lost feelings for their significant other will find it tedious to talk with them.

This also happens because they literally view communication with their partner as a chore—this mindset manifests itself as dry, cold behavior.

– You often find yourself having to initiate conversations.

He never calls or texts you first, you’re always the one making the move.

This is a (bad) sign that means he’s slowly distancing himself—this point significantly solidifies if he never used to act this way.

You could be texting him multiple times until you finally get a response, but until then, you have to reach out to him first!

– He texts other women and tells lies.

You know for a fact he’s not all that innocent because you’ve already caught him texting other women.

Maybe you’ve seen the notifications appear on his phone, all they’re always coming from women.

Regardless of how you learned this piece of information, it cannot possibly be a good sign—especially not if he refuses to talk about it.

And what’s even worse is that he lies about those women, saying that they’re his cousins or co-workers!

But really, just how many co-workers and cousins can a person really have?

When you confront him about his actions, he does one of the following:

When you confront him about his actions, he does one of the following
  • Try to sweet-talk you;
  • Distract you from what just happened;
  • Bring up something you do that he doesn’t like (he’s attempting to turn the tables);
  • Lie about who the woman he’s texting is;
  • Pretend to get angry or sad, saying you’ve invaded his privacy and you don’t trust him;
  • Blame you and make it seem as if you’ve somehow pushed him to talk to other women.

All it takes is a keen eye from their partners to know what’s going on—the rest is up to how the cheaters carry themselves!

Suspicious people share many similarities, like their reactions to being caught.

If this ever happens with you and your man—or if it has already happened—know that such reactions are bad news.

– He stops sharing his location with you!

This is how a partner behaves when they start cheating— they wouldn’t want you to know if they’re going to a hotel or another person’s house.

Apple, for instance,  does not directly notify you if your partner has done this—to see if he has stopped sharing his location with you, go to the Find My app and check if you can see your boyfriend on the list.

– He’s online a lot—when you two hang out, he’s always typing on his phone.

Someone who’s cheating through text will start spending increasingly more time on their phones (despite ignoring their significant other).

You always see his activity status on—late at night, while he’s at work or supposed to be doing something, it doesn’t matter.

Even when you’re together with him, he’s always on his phone and typing on the keyboard.

And the icing on the cake? He smiles and giggles—you can pretty much guess whoever’s texting him isn’t *just* a platonic friend!

– An emotional and physical distance can both be taken as a sign!

How about we broaden our sources a bit? It’s going to be difficult to tell if your partner is cheating based on text messages alone.

Take emotional/physical distance as an example.

According to WebMD, signs of cheating also include a partner not having a high sex drive due to the fact their sexual needs are being satisfied by someone else.

Other forms of physicality may be included, such as hugs, kisses, and cuddles!

Cheaters may also become more emotionally distant:

  • Fewer texts and overall less communicating;
  • They don’t open up as much;
  • No more flirting, teasing, and other light-hearted interactions;
  • A decreased desire for quality time, etc.

– Your boyfriend loves starting arguments.

Relentless fighting is a very interesting thing about cheaters—why are THEY mad when their partners are the ones being cheated on?

I’ll tell you why!

This happens because a large number of cheaters feel emotionally conflicted about what they’re doing—their penchant for arguing comes from the psychological effects cheating brings.

They also try to make themselves feel better about what they’re doing by inventing a reason to get angry with their partner.

– If he doesn’t ask you anything anymore while you two talk, he may be cheating.

If he doesn’t ask you anything anymore while you two talk, he may be cheating

It all has to do with what this symbolizes: an absence of interest.

People never stop being curious about the people they love; they ask questions about their day, well-being, and emotional state.

No matter how “small” or “trivial” those questions might seem, to some people they’re a way to communicate more with the person they care about.

If your cheating partner is focusing his attention elsewhere, you have most likely noticed a shortage of questions!

How to find out if your boyfriend is cheating on his phone? Further signs to affirm your suspicions.

And if you’re trying to find out whether your boyfriend is acting buddy-buddy with strangers online, then the signs are a bit clearer.

If he is cheating, he will act in a bizarre way, but mostly having to do with his phone.

Here are some samples! If your boyfriend is cheating on his phone, he will:

  • Be selfish with it (he won’t let you touch his phone);
  • Make sure his notifications are disabled;
  • Probably put it on silent;
  • Hide or leave the room whenever he gets a text or call;
  • Follow lots of women you don’t know on social media;
  • Put a new password on his phone.

The majority of the time you can tell if your significant other is cheating on his phone by looking at how he acts—I guess this would be the only benefit in an otherwise really bitter situation.

Nonetheless, you can evaluate your partner’s faithfulness through text.

But I can’t guarantee it’s going to be easy!

Texting another person leaves too much up to interpretation—we wouldn’t have enough information to make a decision.

But looking at the signs is a good start; if your boyfriend does a lot of the things I have noted above, then it’s definitely worth questioning.

If your goal is to expose your cheating boyfriend, I’m rooting for you!


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