Being in a relationship with a catfish is never fun – or at least, it’s fun in the beginning and it all goes downhill from there.
The moment that you find out the truth, your whole world crashes down.
You feel betrayed, unloved, and confused at that exact moment.
And if you feel like you want to end this catfish relationship, you should be prepared mentally and make the right move.
But before doing it let’s check the different forms of catfishing and how can you end a catfish relationship based on this:
What is catfishing and its forms?
Catfishing is a term used for deception on online dating apps or other social media.
Catfishers use fake profile pics or information just to get your attention and validation. They’re not who you think they are.
So the levels of catfishing depend on a catfish’s intention. Catfishing can be in different forms:
- Basic deception,
- Identity theft,
- Stalking and harassment,
So, to end a catfish relationship based on its form, you need to follow these 9 tips:
1. Confirm that they are a catfish.
Catfishing can be and cannot be obvious. Thus, if you’re new to online dating, you should do a background check first.
Even if you never doubted that they’re a catfish, you need to get your facts straight.
- Try to ask more questions and get to know them more.
- Ask questions about their past (childhood, school, etc.) and try to connect them with the present.
- You can use Swindler Buster to check if they have a Tinder profile (if you’re already talking on other apps with them).
- If you want to check if they have other social media or are the ones who they are pretending to be, try and use Social Catfish.
To use Swindler Buster, you need to add their name and surname, their address, gender, and age and then click on Search Tinder.
2. Check whether talking to them can benefit you.
If you want to end a relationship with a catfish, you need to reflect on a simple aspect.
As mentioned before in this article, a catfish can scam you because they need validation and might be just making a basic deception.
This means that they might be using false photos or information to describe them.
- In this case, you should check whether being part of this relationship with a catfish will benefit you or not.
- Try to get to know them better and check whether their scamming was brutal.
If they ask you for money or bully you online, you should immediately cut contact with them.
3. Avoid communicating with them for some time and gather evidence.
If you start to suspect that they’re a catfish then communicate less with them until you make sure.
During this time, if they have asked you for money or asked you for some nudes, you want to have no contact with them.
- Be careful, you can keep some type of connection because you need to learn more about them or find their next action.
- I’m advising you to do so because catfishers know when you start to doubt them.
- And if you have shared any personal information with them then they will try to disconnect from you and use it.
- You can also make a reverse image search, so you can check whether they’re the person they’re claiming to be.
4. Go slow if you have shared personal information with them.
You need to end the relationship with the catfish but try to do it more gently for your safety.
In this case, you can use words like please, I think, It’s me not you, and so on so you don’t push them to make any bad decision regarding you.
- Start the conversation by telling them what is going wrong in your relationship and how you would fix it.
- Or, if you can’t handle it anymore and things aren’t working for you anymore and you think that you should separate ways.
No matter what type of catfishing they use with you, still, you should be careful how you deliver your message.
Make sure that you give them time to explain themselves too and why they are doing this.
Still, I prefer you to have this type of conversation only if they are using subtle catfishing.
5. Ghost them if they continue to violate your privacy.
If you didn’t share any personal information with them but they are threatening you after having the conversation, you can block them.
Just focus and make sure that you have not shared any bank details or other important details with them.
- If you were talking with them on social media and on dating apps make sure that you block them on all of them.
- On the other hand, if they keep threatening you that they will find you through your IP address or your phone number, block them immediately.
After that, gather evidence by taking a screenshot of what they said and go to a lawyer or police station.
6. You can block and report their profile.
Many dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, or MeetMe, give you the opportunity to block or report a fake profile.
Despite this, if you were talking only on social apps, you can block and report them and choose the reason why you want to report their profile.
- If you want to report a profile on Tinder, you need to open the conversation.
- Click on the shield Icon that is located near their profile on the upper side.
- Then select the Report option.
If you were communicating through Instagram only, then you can go about it differently:
- Go to the conversation, click on their name and you will be directed to an extended link.
- You will find options such as Profile, Search, and Mute, and next to these options, you can see three dots.
- You click on these three dots and there you can see the option Report.
- Click on that. After you click on this a list with reasons will open. You choose the reason you want to justify your action.
7. To end a catfish relationship, you need to avoid romanticizing them.
To end a catfish relationship, you need to withdraw a bit from the situation.
Indeed you might still have feelings for them but you need to step out of that frame even though it’s not an easy thing to do.
Thus, to end a relationship with them, you need to follow these steps:
- Write down what you don’t like in them;
- Continue reflecting on things that are impacting you negatively on this relationship;
- Focus on the moral grounds of this situation. Understand that they’re breaking rules and are being very unjust with their actions.
In this case, I would recommend you collaborate with a therapist so they can let you know more about how to reflect on your feelings.
8. Choose the right words while crafting the last conversation with them.
To end a catfish relationship, you need to learn more about their mindset and their schemes.
- Start by informing yourself more about why people lie and why they do it online.
- Then continue reading more about why catfishers lie and how they catch their next victim.
Research done in 2016 by Drouin & Miller spots that circa 50% of people lie about their age, activities, and appearance.
For example: If they have told you that they like soccer just like you but now they don’t know who Harry Kane is, bring it up in the conversation.
“I think that you said you liked Harry Kane and used to go to high school in England. How come you don’t know who he is now?”
9. Choose to focus on healing and protect your peace.
While you end a catfish relationship, you need to be honest with yourself too.
You don’t have to explain yourself to a catfisher. You don’t have to justify yourself. If you want to end the relationship then you can do it.
Choose and protect your inner peace.
It’s understandable that at this time your self-confidence might decrease, but still remember that you can outsmart a catfish in the future.
Take this as an experience and reflect on things you can do differently next time you try online dating.
Should I break up with a girl who catfished me a year ago?
Yes and No. The answer to your question depends only on you, how you feel, and how this relationship will affect you.
A year is enough to check whether she is a long-time partner or not.
– If you resent her now and are afraid that she will lie to you again then just end the relationship.
A healthy relationship is always based on trust. If there is no trust then that relationship will drain you.
You will be in constant fear as you continue the relationship and that will make you paranoid and maybe it might turn you into a controlling partner too.
– If you’re not connecting with them emotionally then you should decide to end the relationship.
I was in the same position while using MeetMe and a really cool guy matched with me.
He seemed very interesting to me and he looked really good in the photos.
I decided to give him a chance and go for a coffee with him. As I entered the cafe I saw that he looked way different.
I was mad at first but decided to listen to him. I didn’t talk for two weeks to him and then he decided to reach out to me apologizing and explaining himself.
Now, each case is different. And in your case, it should depend on the level of ‘damage’ caused and intention behind her catfish.
If you have based the relationship only on what you thought she was then you need to even distance yourself from this idea and start over or end the relationship.
If she catfished you because she had low self-confidence and only put photos of someone else but never lied to you about other things then you might give her a chance.
– If she didn’t apologize for catfishing then it’s better to end things.
If a catfisher doesn’t apologize that means two things.
They either have a big ego or are planning to catfish you along the way.
Thus, if she didn’t apologize for her wrong-doings it’s better to let her know that you can’t continue a relationship knowing it.
Still, if you haven’t brought this up for a year then probably you should deliver it in a subtle way and check if you can work it out.
Can you report a Catfish to the police?
Yes, you can report a Catfish to the police if you have enough evidence that they scammed you.
- To do it, you need to have certain proof, thus I would recommend you to get legal advice before doing it.
- Especially, if they asked you for money or for nudes, you can use it as evidence to sue them.
- Still, sometimes if you send nudes while not knowing that they might be a catfish, the police might not help in this aspect because you did it willingly.
Yet, still, make sure to check if they’re using other dating apps such as Facebook Dating or are trying to scam other people with other fake profiles.
If you don’t have enough evidence that they’re a scammer, I would recommend you keep subtle contact with them.
You can even meet with them and then call the police on them. You can either record your conversation and ask them questions so you can learn the truth.
If you’re living within the US then you can report a Catfish by contacting the Internet Crime Complaint Bureau.
On the other hand, if you live in the UK, you can call on 0300 123 2040. Also, you can text this phone number 0300 123 2050.
To end a catfish relationship, you need to gather evidence, be confident, and decide what you want.
Depending on your situation and what style of catfishing they used with you, you can either choose to confront or just block them.
I would suggest you take the situation step by step and ask for professional help as you’re dealing with a catfish.
Sometimes, ending a relationship with a catfish might seem easy just like ending a simple relationship.
Well, you don’t know whether this catfish is a controlling person, an eccentric, or a narcissistic person.
Thus, before making any type of decision, try to consult with professional people and take legal advice too.
Wish you a happy recovery from this situation!